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Eva
Morreale

Eva Morreale is a Jersey girl based in Los Angeles. She has an encyclopedia-like knowledge of Sex and the City, the Real Housewives franchise, and always carries Tums. You can follow her whereabouts on IG @evapants or subscribe to her newsletter Fries for the Table (friesforthetable.substack.com).

Stuff I Wrote

Here’s 20 Betches-Approved Couples Costumes That Don’t Suck Ass

By Eva Morreale

Festive, fun, and fucking hilarious ‘fits for all included.

NBD, Just My Casual Conversation With Christina Aguilera About Pegging

By Eva Morreale

Her new oil is “vitamins for your vagina.”

Niche Pop Culture Halloween Costumes For The Chronically Online Girlies

By Eva Morreale

POV: Your Screen Time is up 5,000%

I Need Everyone To Realize Berger Was NOT The Worst 'SATC' Boyfriend

By Eva Morreale

This is my truth!

Your Much-Needed SparkNotes For Britney Spears’ Memoir, 'The Woman in Me'

By Eva Morreale

It's always been Britney, betch.

I’m Still Not Over How Ronnie The Paper Boy Broke Lizzie McGuire’s Heart

By Eva Morreale

Thank you, Lizzie.

The ‘VPR’ Cast’s Recent Reality TV Stints Ranked From Chill To Straight-Up Mortifying

By Eva Morreale

There’s nothing more degrading than bad OneRepublic karaoke.

The Most Terrifying Disney Channel Halloween Moments That Traumatized Me As A Kid

By Eva Morreale

BRB, billing the estate of Walt Disney for my therapy costs.

Heidi Klum’s Leaked Pitch Deck For Her 2023 Halloween Costume

By Eva Morreale

Nothing will top a worm, TBH.

Oh God, We Somehow Got An Exclusive Look At Tom Sandoval’s Podcast Episodes

By Eva Morreale

Episode 4: 'Feminism: Not Just For the Ladies'

Growing Up Is Realizing Emily Gilmore Is The Superior Gilmore Girl

By Eva Morreale

“Where you lead, I will follow… Emily Gilmoreeee.”

An Actually Realistic Guide For Prepping For Fall

By Eva Morreale

Smell as many HomeGoods candles as possible.

A Betchy Breakdown Of Golden Bachelor Gerry's Gals (AKA My Pickleball Dream Team)

By Eva Morreale

Golden Girls who?

20 Topics Jen Shah And Elizabeth Holmes Definitely, Maybe, Probably Discuss In Jail

By Eva Morreale

Just two girl bosses maximizing their joint slay.

Forget 'Love Is Blind,' Here's An Official Pitch Deck For 'Love Is Shallow'

By Eva Morreale

Finally, a series for the realists out there.

The Most Millennial Triggering Moments From The VMAs

By Eva Morreale

My inner-child is healing.

7 VMAs Moments That Would Send Gen Z Straight To The ER

By Eva Morreale

Respect your elders.

Your 2010 Dorm Room Aesthetic Tells Me Everything I Need To Know About You

By Eva Morreale

I loveeeee your Audrey Hepburn poster.

How To Tell Your Boss You Need PTO To Mourn Chris Evans' Single Life

By Eva Morreale

Hit send, shut the blinds, and pass the tissues.

Don't Date Joe Jonas Until You Read These Brutally Honest Yelp Reviews

By Eva Morreale

“Incredibly overrated and underwhelming.”

Celebrity Conspiracy Theories Ranked From Delulu To Kinda Might Be Real

By Eva Morreale

“That motherfucker right there… is not real!”

EXCLUSIVE: Joe And Sophie’s Ring Camera Speaks Out After Surprise Split

By Eva Morreale

And they know exactly what Sophie said.

If Joe And Sophie *Actually* Divorce, Here's Who Gets What

By Eva Morreale

Because no one thought to include “friendship custody of James Corden” in the pre-nup.

How To Dress Your Cool And Hot Boyfriend Just Like Justin Bieber

By Eva Morreale

Happy wife, happy life!

Books For Unstable Girlies Who Are Going Through Some Shit

By Eva Morreale

POV: "Gone Girl" is a sacred text in your household.

What 'The Care & Keeping Of You: 30-Year-Old Edition' Should Look Like

By Eva Morreale

Chapter 3: How to find a reputable Groupon for all-over body hair removal.

If Your SO Does Any Of These Things, Please Go On ‘The Ultimatum’

By Eva Morreale

Included but not limited to an unhealthy obsession with crypto.

This Game Of MASH Will Predict Just How Traumatizing Your Friend’s Bach Will Be

By Eva Morreale

Mentally prepare yourself pre-RSVP.

Wow, We Somehow Got Our Hands On The *Literal* Fyre Festival II Lineup

By Eva Morreale

Somehow, Billy McFarland’s nearly four-year stint in prison did nothing to dissuade him from yet another act of scammery.

‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ Is Over — Time To Prep For ‘The Fall I Turned Ugly’

By Eva Morreale

Pumpkin-spiced girlies rise.

We Got A Very Real First Look At Ariana Madix's New Cocktail Book

By Eva Morreale

Hello, bestseller!

Howie Mandel And Bethenny Frankel's Guide To Prepping For A BIG Interview

By Eva Morreale

It’s giving Peabody-award winning.

POV: You’re Keke Palmer's Ex-BF Text-Spiraling While Watching Her Usher Music Video

By Eva Morreale

"And PS I am NOT a scrub!!!"

We Unearthed A Cringe-Worthy Draft Of Dan Humphrey’s Short Story About Serena

By Eva Morreale

You know you love me, XOXO!

Meghan Markle's Resume Was Leaked And We Got It Before The 'Daily Mail'

By Eva Morreale

And yes, she’s proficient in Microsoft Excel.

100 Thoughts Tom Schwartz Definitely Had While Bleaching His Hair

By Eva Morreale

“I wonder where Lisa gets her hair done.”

Manny Santos' Whale Tail Was A Cultural Reset That Rocked My World

By Eva Morreale

“I wanna be hot. Not cute, not adorable, hot.”

How To Put In Your PTO Request Now For The '1989 (Taylor's Version)' Release

By Eva Morreale

Please contact Lisa, a Katy Perry stan, while I am OOO.

Does Your BF Look Like Your Brother, Too?

By Eva Morreale

Ethan Slater is but a ginger Frankie Grande.

How To Dump Your Significant Other Like A Celeb

By Eva Morreale

It's better to be the dumper than the dump-ee.

I Relived My Teenage Angst And Live-Tweeted Marissa Cooper's Death

By Eva Morreale

Girl, if you hear a cover of Hallelujah playing?! just pack it up, it's over, errbody dead.

PSA: Read These 100% Real Reviews Before You Book Gwyneth Paltrow's Airbnb

By Eva Morreale

Grab the crystals, the supplements, the suppositories, and the sex toys – we’re going to Goop’s!

More Bikini Bottom Blind Items Revealed Following SpongeBob, Ariana Scandal

By Eva Morreale

What else lies beneath the surface?

Aidan Shaw, I Have 20 Questions About Your Jacket Choice

By Eva Morreale

Mainly, who what where when and *why* ?

Who Needs Kenergy? An Ode To The Scrawny-Ass Men Of 'Oppenheimer'

By Eva Morreale

Why go for a himbo, when Big Nuclear Energy is right there?

Coming To Stores Near You: Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House... With Accessories!

By Eva Morreale

Now you have finally have Barbie over for a fun night!

Twitter Bird Chirps Back In Explosive EXCLUSIVE Interview: "I Found Out When You Did"

By Eva Morreale

“I didn’t know whether to fight or [take] flight.”

LEAKED: Samantha & Carrie's 'And Just Like That' FaceTime Script

By Eva Morreale

And just like that… Samantha and I were back.