Disney really knew how to ramp up the Halloween terror back in the day, huh? As a child of the ‘90s, plopping down in front of my hot pink mini Samsung with built-in VCR every October was basically mandatory. And what did lil’ Eva absorb? Nothing but a lifetime’s worth of trauma that Ana, PHD candidate at UCLA has been responsible for managing.
Jokes aside, there was some actually scary programming happening on children’s network Disney in the ‘90s and early aughts. Some faves hold up, some are now hokey, and some remain spooky as fuck. Here’s the moments ingrained in the darkest corners of my brain that likely live in yours, too.
So Weird Season 2, Episode 11 “Banshee”
The spark for many of our collective obsessions with all things paranormal (and an obsession with Erik von Detten, but I digress), So Weird was an emotionally hea-vy teen drama that explored all things unexplained. There were many bone-chilling episodes that depicted downright creepy shit (aliens, ghosts, and bat boy to start) but the most nightmare-inducing might’ve been season 2, episode 11 titled “Banshee” where Fiona realizes banshees have haunted her family for generations, stolen their souls, and the same one that killed her dad is upstairs trying to snatch up her grandpa. Somehow Fi convinces it not to chow down on Pappy but not before the episode embedded some paranoia about our own Meemaws and Gpas being whisked away by ethereal spookies.
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Boy Meets World Season 5, Episode 15 “And Then There Was Shawn”
Weirdly enough, this classic haunted house episode did not actually air on Halloween but randomly in February of 1998 (please roll us into our graves now.) But it became a staple of Disney’s “Monstober” block thanks to its spooky hijinks — flickering lights, Scream-like horror nerd references, and a super fun cameo from Scream Queen herself, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Even though this was a sitcom, there were still some actually freaky moments. Jump scares, a gory death via pencil-to-the-forehead, and a creepy janitor make this a tame-ish entry into the canon of Disney-related trauma.
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Halloweentown
Ah, good ol’ Halloweentown, a DCOM classic and a must watch during Spooky Szn. You may be thinking the obvious choice here would be a mention of Kalabar in full evil warlock mode towards the end of the movie. And while yes, it was scary as hell to 8-year-old me, even scarier was Benny the Cab driver wigging out because he was under Kalabar’s curse. He offers to give spunky protagonist Marnie a ride and then flips out on her, screaming at her to get in the car. Maybe it was the Stranger Danger we all had ingrained in our heads as children of the America’s Most Wanted generation. Regardless, it was scary as hell! It did prepare me for dealing with the Uber drivers at LAX, though.
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Don’t Look Under The Bed
Disney Channel’s Don’t Look Under the Bed *starts* with an opening shot that displays creepy dolls… so you knew this one was going to make the list. Basically an allegory about not trying to rush your childhood, this movie takes a scary-ass turn when it’s revealed that if you disown your imaginary friends, they become boogeymen (?!?!!) who live under your bed. Who is making these rules up, Disney? The nightmares begin when imaginary friend Larry Houdini goes from sweet ‘n quirky to downright terrifying, displaying claws, green flashing eyes, and fangs and it only gets scarier from there. Nope!
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Under Wraps
Fun fact! The eponymous mummy in DCOM Under Wraps plays the voice of THE Patrick Star in SpongeBob Squarepants. Generally wholesome, Under Wraps tells the story of a rag tag group of tweens who stumble upon a mummy when breaking into their creepy neighbors basement. Why Disney Channel would actively encourage youths to investigate their creepy neighbors’ basement is beyond me! Anyway, they end up befriending said mummy, naming him Harold and helping him find his way back to his sarcophagus while navigating the modern world. You guessed it! Hijinks ensue! But I was genuinely shook during the scene where Harold gets mistaken for a living human at an adults Halloween party. Approached by a horny lady in a Cleopatra costume, she unravels him only to reveal his decrepit wrinkly corpse. Trauma! Party of one!
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Mom’s Got A Date With A Vampire
With two leads from hall of fame ‘90s TV — Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny and Aunt Hilda from Sabrina the Teenage Witch — Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire is pure, distilled, Disney nostalgia. But I can’t help but wonder if Disney created it to be a PSA to hot single moms everywhere. Don’t get involved with a sketchy-ass dude with a hazy past who love bombs you! The scariest part of this movie isn’t even that the dashing British doctor Dimitri is actually a vampire. It’s that he’s a hating-ass, rude, pushy a-hole to both Rhea’s Lynette and her kids! The scene that gave tiny Eva full heebie jeebies was him yelling at her at the county fair and demanding she go back with him to his house. Run, Lynette, run!
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Hocus Pocus
A campy Halloween classic, Hocus Pocus is the definitive Halloween kids movie for a reason. From spawning some early crushes — helllooooo, Thackery Binx — to the collective wanderlusting over the autumnal gorgeousness of Salem, Massachusetts, Hocus Pocus is a banger for a reason. Most of this movie is very PG-rated (though it did teach me what a virgin is!), except for one bit. Equal parts entrancing and spooky thanks to SJP’s theater chops, the “Come Little Children” sequence is actually pretty scary. Hypnotic and spine-tingling, it made me feel uncomfy and unsettled for years!
Spooky Rating: 👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
The Scream Team
I’m still a little iffy on the details of The Scream Team, e.g. how living children are allowed to visit the afterlife, why some big spooky wants possession of a regular degular grandpa ghost… etc. But that’s neither here nor there, what really counts is this often forgotten DCOM gem from 2002 was essentially a Beetlejuice-lite for kids. Bro and sis duo Ian and Claire are basically on a quest to save their dead grandpa’s soul from an evil ghost named Zachariah Kull and enlist a team of afterlife guardian ghosts to help. Queen Kathy Najimy makes another appearance on this list playing one of said guardians! The spookies in this one come from Zachariah, a scary flame-throwing demon with bad teeth and worse guyliner. Those sunken eyes haunted my childhood dreams!
Spooky Rating: 👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
Tower Of Terror
My claustrophobia stems from this film! Fellow Jersey girl Kirsten Dunst leads this Disney Monstober staple brought to you by the guy who created Are You Afraid of the Dark?. Based on the Disney World ride, this movie has everything: Creepy 1930’s ghosts, haunted hotels, and witches. Kiki and Uncle Buzzy, played by Steve Guttenberg, must face off against evil forces to solve the mystery of why the elevator in the Hollywood Tower Hotel suddenly collapsed one fateful night (it has to do with some curses, FYI). But this movie made me deathly scared of elevators up until the age of like 10. Would I get stuck in one? Would one suddenly catch fire? Is there an evil witch in the elevator with me? And most importantly, would it suddenly drop killing me in a terribly violent way before I could meet my future husband Lance Bass, IRL?
Spooky Rating: 👻👻👻/ 👻👻👻👻👻
