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‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ Is Over — Time To Prep For ‘The Fall I Turned Ugly’

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There’s a slight chill in the morning air. If you sniff hard enough, you can smell a cran-apple three-wick candle burning somewhere in the distance. Gilmore Girls is “la…laa…la..laa”-ing on your screen. Our time has come, my people. Fall is here.  

The Summer I Turned Pretty had us all running through sandy dunes to “august” and falling in love for the past three months. Now it’s time to crank the rest of folklore and fall in love with slugging your feet to properly avoid The Fall I Turned Ugly. Personally, I imitate a sickly Victorian child year round (constant bed rot) but autumn is the perfect time to give into the hygge of it all, turn up the heater, and break out the cozy socks. 

Another must? Revamping your entire skincare and body care routine. Slough away that dry skin! Moisturize those dead ends! Generally give your entire routine a big, cozy, deeply moisturizing overhaul. These products will definitely make you look like one of those prepackaged Spirit Halloween Cat Lady costumes. But your cheeks (on your face and the other ones) will definitely be thanking you. 

Summer Skin Shedder

Alpha Beta Universal Daily Peel Pads

Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare

These are really fab for an all over exfoliation/skin brightening combo. Use them a day before self tanning.

No If, Ands, or Butt-ne

Le Tush Clarifying Butt Mask


Your butt deserves a mask, too! This one is super affordable, and makes your lil’ peach emoji super smooth.

Like a Green Juice for Your Hair

Soulfood Nourishing Hair Mask


I’m obsessed with all things amika, and this hair mask is really amazing for super dry hair.

Heal Hair from The Great Box Dye Job of ’23

Don't Despair, Repair! Deep Conditioning Hair Mask


Also love Briogeo’s entire Don’t Despair line for repairing chemically processed or heat tool damaged hair.

Smells like Blue Crush in a Tub

Scalp & Body Scrub


Got gunky buildup? Massage this into your hair and remove a summer’s worth of dry shampoo. This is also delicious on skin, and the smell is heavenly.

Throw it in Your Gym Bag

Back-Up Plan Acne-Control Body Mist


Bacne sufferers, I see you, I am you. My wedding dress (brag alert!) is low cut so I’ve been intense about clearing up any bacne. This works and is so easy to apply. 

This + Sunscreen = Summer Damage Control

Faded Serum for Dark Spots & Discoloration


This cult fave smells like chemicals, which means it’s working. And it does! I’ve cleared up serious hyperpigmentation with consistent use. Dark complexion friendly, too!

If Jason Vorhees had a Good Esthetician

Cryo Chill Ice Beaded Face Mask

Skin Gym 

Queen Charlotte Tilbury’s Cryo mask is perpetually out of stock but this wallet-friendly dupe works just the same to tighten and refresh.

For Those Ballin’ on a Budget

ProSculpt Gua Sha

Youth Lab

If you buy one thing in this round up, let it be this nifty gadget. It tightens, it brightens, it erases scars, it’s a high tech facial for cheap! Add to cart!

Make Greta Thunberg Proud

Forever Eye Mask


Get your ugly fall on and save the planet, babes.

Smoothing and Soothing

Retinol Skin-Smoothing Body Treatment

Paula’s Choice 

Retinol in your body lotion! Get into it! 

For the Glazed Donut Effect

Sweet Relief Overnight Face Barrier Balm


Slugga slugga choo choo! Hop aboard the slugging train with this super soothing moisturizer that’ll make skin juicy and plump overnight. 

Because You Need a Little Fabulous

Soothing and Hydrating Body Serum Stick with Magnesium

being frenshe 

Ashley Tisdale has a body care line at Target. (Imagine if you could go back to your 5th grade self and tell them that.) Anyway, it’s good. Slather this on before bed for sweet dreams.

Recreate the Sour Album Cover

Colorful Hydrocolloid Pimple Patches


Everyone loves the hydrocolloid version of these, but the salicylic acid version are the superior patch, IMO.

Break Up with Breakage

Satin Scrunchies For Natural Hair

Pattern Beauty

Make sure your top knot, coils, and curls are secured at bedtime with these comfy satin scrunchies from Queen Tracee Ellis-Ross herself. 

First They’re Sour, Then They’re Sweet (Dreams)

Sleep CBD Gummies

Not Pot

Pop one of these before you conk out and erase intrusive thoughts, seasonal affective sads, and the time you Slacked your boss, “one sex” instead of “one sec”.

Eva Morreale
Eva Morreale
Eva Morreale is a Jersey girl based in Los Angeles. She has an encyclopedia-like knowledge of Sex and the City, the Real Housewives franchise, and always carries Tums. You can follow her whereabouts on IG @evapants or subscribe to her newsletter Fries for the Table (