Betches
Staff

Buckle up, y'all, because I'm about to expose the depths of my own depravity something pretty damn juicy about one of the ladies competing for Arie's Instagram following heart on The Bachelor. Spoilers ahead, obviously, so close out now if you don't want to know what happens.

Vanderpump Rules season 6 is well under way, and there's a lot to process this season.

So while you’ve been out mourning the loss of summer and preparing for your winter weight cuff, we here at Betches Media have been low-key putting things in motion for the biggest glow-up up since Ariel Winter went from “little girl on Modern Family” to IG thirst trap.

After watching last night's episode of Vanderpump Rules, you might be wondering a few things, like if Brittany has ever learned what manipulation is, and if she's okay.

What up, degenerates?

Catch up on last week's Vanderpump Rules recap here!

Last night, while you were all watching the Golden Globes and I was continuing a drinking binge that began at 12:30pm that afternoon, Stassi Schroeder stepped in it (again) with a very distasteful and unnecessary joke about Nazis.

Earlier this week, Lala Kent went public with Randall Emmett, her rumored formerly married boyfriend, by posting their first-ever selfie on Instagram.

Catch up on our Bachelor recap here!

Catch up on last week's Vanderpump Rules recap here!

A big Kardashian announcement might be coming soon.

If you've been following the Kardashian pregnancies with the same zeal with which some people follow the actual news, you'll be excited to know that today might be the day we finally put an end to the rumors once and for all.

Arie’s season of The Bachelor hasn’t even started yet, but the Instagram shilling is already in full force.

What a year it's been for the cast of Jersey Shore.

Dear Betch, Hi!

I think I speak for every single person on this Earth when I say that we had all been waiting with baited breath for the Kardashians to drop their final installment of their Christmas card.

Have you emerged from your Christmas food coma yet?

On this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules, we saw the return of our favorite professional sugar baby, Lala Kent.

All right, everyone.

The Bachelor doesn't premiere for another two weeks or so (yes, I could do the math but no, I won't because I'm too lazy), but the speculation train is just getting started since ABC released the cast of Instagram models ladies vying for Arie's love.

All right, you degenerates, we’ve made it to another Vanderpump Rules.

The list of official contestants competing on Arie's season of The Bachelor was released last week, and it was a lot to process.

Will Ferrell during this entire movie = me.

Another day, another breadcrumb in the Kardashian pregnancy conspiracy theory thread.

It's been a long, wild ride on the Kardashian Pregnancy Rumor Roller Coaster Extraordinaire, also known as the Kris Jenner 4000.

Parks and Rec is one of the greatest shows of all time, and if you don't agree, you can fight me—in the comments section or literally, whichever you prefer.

Gather 'round now, children, and listen to my latest Kardashian theory.

Last night, in the midst of the Jax cheating on Brittany drama, something equally scandalous happened: a very strange commercial starring Tom Sandoval, James, Scheana, and Kristen and the cast of Pitch Perfect 3. The commercial was called "The 12 Days Of Pitchmas," and it was a hot mess.

Another Monday, another episode of Vanderpump Rules.

It’s here.

One of the good things about Instagram (or the bad, depending on how you look at it) is the advent of doing things for the ‘Gram.

The holidays are coming up, and for most of us that means a significant amount of downtime where we have like, nothing to do.

Because Kim Kardashian doesn't have enough wealth or business ventures, she's adding another project to her resume, and it's a new reality show.

Say what you want about Taylor Swift (which, believe me, I will), but we can all agree the girl is a gifted songwriter.

Welcome friends, lovers, foes, and all trash-loving monsters, to the season 6 premiere of Vanderpump Rules.

Hear ye, hear ye.

As I was finding corresponding gifs for the ranking of the Victoria’s Secret Angels, I came to the stark realization that all these women look the fucking same.

It's Black Friday, and whether you're at work, lounging in your pajamas and scouring the internet, or braving the stores like a psychopath, there's one thing on everyone's mind: shopping.

I'll just come out and say it: At this point, the Kardashians need to just fucking confirm their pregnancies already.

In the dumpster fire that is 2017, finally we have some good news.

It’s every sane person’s least favorite time of year: winter.

2017 has been a trip, y'all.

Grab onto your hats, because I'm about to blow your mind: Kylie Jenner reportedly threw a baby shower over the weekend.

What would my life be like if I wasn't writing about some Kardashian non-news item every three days?

Another day, another Kylie Jenner pregnancy conspiracy theory *tips hat*.

As young betches, after we realized boys don't really have cooties, but before we realized that they're actually all just fuckboys who will ruin our lives, we enjoyed fantasizing about being whisked away by a certain type of bro.

I only started following Lala Kent on Instagram yesterday, and boy, what a payoff.

So I know this response piece is about 13 years too late (God, we are old), but the internet wasn't really big then and I've just finished watching Friends the second time through and I just have a lot of feelings.

It's not enough for Lala Kent to be returning to Vanderpump Rules; this bitch has been out here thirsting for publicity like it's nobody's business.

Everybody, gather round for my biggest journalistic accomplishment to date.