Catch up on our Bachelor recap here!
The Bachelor premiered Monday night, and boy, is this season going to be something. I didn’t say it would definitely be “something” good or bad, just “something.” The first episode’s ratings were a record low, which I guess could be interpreted as an indication that people want to watch Bachelors who have been relevant in the last five years? Wow, so crazy. Anyway, a “source” close to Arie Luyendyk Jr. did an interview with UsWeekly following the season premiere, and basically, Arie is just as enthusiastic about being the Bachelor as we all are. So… tell me again why we went with this ghost of Bachelors past? I’ll wait.
The “source” told UsWeekly, “He would be happy to have done this and not televise it.” UsWeekly frames that in a, “Look at Arie! He’s here for the right reasons!” kind of way, but I read this in more of a, “WTF is he even doing here then?” type of way. I mean, really. The source adds, “He’s an old school Bachelor. He wanted to get in, find his soul mate and go back to his old life.” Hmm, if only there were other, non-televised ways of meeting your potential soulmate. Like, I don’t know, a matchmaker, or even joining fucking Raya. Finally, this source asserts that Arie “has no interest in being famous.” Sir, that is just not how it works. If you have no interest in being famous, you don’t go on one of the most popular reality TV shows ever. Come on, bro. This is 201
78. Don’t act like going on The Bachelor is your only method of finding love left in this world. Because if it is, what does that say for me, a non-Instagram model who’s camera-shy? I don’t even want to think about it.
For what it’s worth, I will say that I don’t completely hate Arie as the Bachelor. Like, he’s not smooth at all, and I kind of like that about him. He seems—dare I say—real. I could do without the constant assertions from the contestants (probably at gunpoint) that he’s “soo hot”, and he’s no Kenny King (Kenny, if you’re reading this, DM me), but I’m not not into it. I know. I’m a totally new person in 2018.