Vanderpump Rules season 6 is well under way, and there’s a lot to process this season. Not much of it is new, but it’s all there: Jax cheating and subsequently lying about it, Schwartz cheating and sort of lying about it, Sandoval being emotional, etc. I could go on, but then I’d just be summarizing all 6 seasons of Vanderpump Rules, and then who would read my recaps? Anyway, one part of season 6 that’s like, kind of a big deal but not as big a deal as Scheana wants it to be is her
rebound relationship with Rob Valletta. This past week alone we grappled with pressing issues such as, did Rob cheat on Scheana? And, does anybody care? Apparently Scheana thinks we care (we don’t), because she’s still out here on Instagram posting thirsty messages directed at him. Last week, she posted a super grainy photo of the two of them with a corny-ass caption that said things like, “All I’m going to say about tonight’s episode is that this is the most loyal man I’ve ever met in my entire life and he never left my side the night this so called incident took place!” She also asserted, “I know him better than anyone and him and i are just fine.” She ALSO hashtagged the picture with “#kickstand” which, like, must be their weird nickname for each other, because Rob has put that in his Instagrams with her, too. And they say romance is dead. Get you a man who calls you his “kickstand.”
Now that you’ve got a little background on the situation, this week Scheana kicked things up a notch—and no, that pun was not intentional, I swear. Yesterday, she uploaded a photo of herself in lingerie to Instagram, and tagged Rob. As her boobs. Well, specifically, one of her boobs.
I’m sorry, what? What does this mean? Why are you tagging your ex in this, and why is he tagged as your breast? Just…why? What am I supposed to make of this? What are any of us supposed to make of this? I’d say this is like, the more public version of you sending your ex a revenge nude because you want him to miss having sex with you. I’m just getting the sense that she’s not completely over Rob. (Who would be, with a house like that?)
There’s more to this story. Earlier this week, Scheana spoke to Page Six about her and Rob’s relationship and basically blamed her fellow Vanderpump Rules cast mates for their breakup. She said, “After everything that happened this past summer, it’s just not a group of people he wants in his life.” She also said that she’s sure one day they will get back together (sure, Jan), but not while she’s in Vegas and not while she’s working at SUR and filming Vanderpump Rules. Okay, whatever helps you sleep at night.
Scheana has also been on Twitter vehemently defending Rob against the “accusations”. I put “accusations” in quotes because does anyone really give a shit if he may have made out with someone while he was dating Scheana, but they’re not even together anymore? It just seems like a moo point.
I’m not worried. He was really hurt and bothered by the rumor Bc it wasn’t true and I feel the need to defend him. It’s not my reputation on the line here. It’s upsetting ppl exaggerated a story about a great man. https://t.co/WzQO0x9fFl
— ️Scheana (@scheana) January 16, 2018
Like, oh my god. He may have made out with someone while he had a girlfriend. This dude is an actor who lives in LA. His reputation is not “on the line”. Calm the fuck down. It is not that deep. She even told Page Six, ” I do feel the need to defend Rob because what everyone is saying happened isn’t the case,” adding, “I’m defending him because I’m a very loyal person and that’s out of character for him.” I just eye-rolled so hard that I’m stuck permanently looking at the ceiling. This is me; this is my life now.
But what about Rob? Is he really as heartbroken over his reputation being ruined as Scheana makes it seem? Hardly. For one, he hasn’t tweeted a thing about it. He also doesn’t appear to have tweeted at all since 2014. He did upload an Instagram recently, though. Check it out. I think it’s very telling.
Sooo yeah. Scheana is tagging Rob in lingerie pics of her boobs, and Rob is cheerily taking pictures with his arm around literally nobody, hashtagging “#couplegoals”. Rob just does not seem as broken up over this relationship as Scheana does, and I wish she would get it because this is not a good look for her. If any of you out there need a handbook on how NOT to act after a breakup, just go through all of Scheana’s social media accounts and then do the opposite of everything she’s doing right now.