50
Shades
Of
Betch

Rob Kardashian’s social media meltdown last week was one for the ages, and it looks like the consequences are going to be worse than just getting kicked off of Instagram.

In news of the world that isn’t horrible and depressing, Lauren Conrad has given birth to her first child.

Last summer, Taylor Swift reached peak snake status.

If crying in an arena with thousands of other people is your thing, you might have missed your prime opportunity.

If you’re looking for the perfect excuse to get out of doing shit for other people this summer, we’ve got just the thing for you.

It’s fun being beautiful and perfect, but greatness also comes at a price.

The past few months, Scott Disick has been cycling through underage girls faster than Kourtney can scream “I’M DOING WHAT’S RIGHT FOR MASON AND PENELOPE.” It seemed like something more might be developing last month when he took Bella Thorne to Cannes with him, but she went home after like, one day and was swiftly replaced with some other chick.

Kim and Kanye want a third child, and they’re not letting Kim’s pregnancy issues get in the way.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the nightmare that has been Pretty Little Liars is coming to an end later this month.

Chris Harrison, hold onto your weave, because things are getting rough in Paradise.

In life, there are only a few rules that should really never be broken: don’t talk about fight club, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and don’t ever EVER get a tattoo of a significant other's name.

Dear Adult Children, In the last couple months, we've noticed a startling trend starting to develop among your species.

Being a pop star is basically like Game of Thrones only with less incest and murder (we hope), and this weekend Taylor Swift claimed another victim in her relentless pursuit of the iron throne.

It’s been a hot minute since we heard anything about Amanda Bynes, but our old girl is back from the dead, and she did a YouTube interview because that’s what you do when you’re tryna revive your career.

Here’s a story that will make you nostalgic for the early 2000s, when George W.

From the moment Blue Ivy Carter was born, we knew it was only a matter of time before she took over the world.

Rob Kardashian has always been kind of a mystery to us, and his relationship with Blac Chyna was no different.

Oh, sweet Ariel Winter.

Think back to 2009: Jersey Shore was just about to premiere, you could still get away with wearing a Juicy jacket, and it was the year of the Tiger Woods mistress.

Well, well, well.

If you go to any pregame right now, there’s a 1000% chance that you’ll see some drunk girls trying to sing along to the "Despacito Remix" with Justin Bieber.

There's never a dull moment in the land of the Kardashians.

Relationships are hard, especially when you get way too fucking invested in celebrities’ lives and then everything goes to shit.

Every May, television networks scramble to make it seem like everything is good and fine, and they announce a whole bunch of new shows you’ll never watch, while also canceling most of the ones you’ve never heard of.

We love our moms.

If you’ve ever watched a single episode of any Real Housewives show, you know that they’re all a damn mess.

If you’re fairly new at being a real adult, you’ve probably figured out that making travel arrangements is one of the most frustrating things in the world.

Last month, when Starbucks introduced the Unicorn Frappuccino for a limited run, the internet just about lost its damn mind.

Remember last week, when we were talking about how it looked like Kylie Jenner might finally be done dealing with Tyga?

The bar for a TV reboot has officially been lowered.

Like eating dessert when it's about to be bikini season or taking tequila shots on a Sunday afternoon, we all do things we shouldn't from time to time.

It’s been almost seven months since Kim Kardashian got robbed in Paris, and she’s finally talking about it.

It’s that time of year again!!

"Gather 'round children, and hear the Good Word.

From the day her dad got elected last November, we’ve all been suspicious of Ivanka Trump’s role in the presidency.

Over the weekend, shady country hottie/ex-college football player Sam Hunt got married to his longtime girlfriend Hannah Lee Fowler, who you’ll probably recognize as the girl from literally all of his songs.

It’s the end of an era.

Love them or hate them, the Kardashian/Jenners are like the herpes of pop culture: they never fucking go away.

At the end of last week, the mess that is 2017 so far continued when it was announced that hot actress Olivia Munn and hot football player Aaron Rodgers had broken up after more than three years together.

Hillary Clinton may not have won the presidency and smashed the glass ceiling (still bitter about that, TBH), but that doesn't mean other Clintons can't get in on the "smashing gender norms" game.

This week, Pepsi released the commercial for their new “Live For Now Moments Anthem” campaign (which is a fucking mouthful and what does it mean??), and to say people are unimpressed would be an understatement.

Hey guys.

Drake was supposed to perform in Amsterdam on Monday night, and now he has fans angry because he had to cancel the show at the last minute—a power move we honestly kind of respect because it didn't affect us personally.

Food trends are weird.

We’ve all made fun of New Jersey for as long as we can remember.

Always eager to have everything Taylor Swift has, Selena Gomez has submitted paperwork to trademark her own name, mostly so she can put her name on some products.

Amanda Seyfried is a married woman now, and the rest of the Plastics definitely weren’t invited.

This week, as everyone is talking about President Trump’s horror budget and how much it’s going to hurt people in need (i.e.

Congratulations Betches, we made it to another St.

At this point, Panera is basically a way of life for suburban Americans.