Sorry Ladies, Sam Hunt Is Married

By 50 Shades Of Betch | April 18, 2017
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Over the weekend, shady country hottie/ex-college football player Sam Hunt got married to his longtime girlfriend Hannah Lee Fowler, who you’ll probably recognize as the girl from literally all of his songs. According to Wikipedia they’ve been together on and off since 2008, so there’s got to be enough material there for at least three more albums. Sam is pretty hot, but honestly Hannah is pretty basic looking, and she dyes her hair way too dark for her complexion. Fix that, your husband is fucking famous honey. Her dress also had these weird shoulder straps that kind of look like toilet paper, so we’re not sure where the taste level was for this wedding.

They got married in the middle of nowhere some place in Georgia, which sounds…charming? The venue is called “In the Woods,” and it basically looks like a glorified cabin, which is totally where our dream wedding will be. There were about 150 guests, but apparently there weren’t any fun country music celebrities invited so on the whole we’re pretty disappointed. Like, you couldn’t even get Carrie Underwood to throw on a sparkly minidress and sing at the reception? Do better, Sam.

Hannah basically seems like a rando, so here’s what we know about her from his songs:

– She’s got a body like a back road (whatever that means)
– She has a lot of shoes but she’s basically always barefoot (ew)
– She can’t drive out to the place they used to get peaches out in Pelham (just get your peaches at Whole Foods jfc)
– She takes super long baths (groundbreaking)
– He calls her “Hannah Lee” because it’s the South
 

 

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Most of that info is from his song “Drinkin’ Too Much,” which is a weird half-rap that’s totally about them breaking up, but it only came out a few months ago so we’re very confused. We’re not sure how people do things in Georgia, but hopefully he at least had to buy her something really nice to win her back.