Kim And Kanye Are Having A Third Baby To Upstage Beyoncé

Kim and Kanye want a third child, and they’re not letting Kim’s pregnancy issues get in the way. A source has confirmed to PEOPLE that Kim and Kanye hired a surrogate to carry Kim’s third child, which actually makes a lot of sense. Kim has been very open about how difficult it was for her to get pregnant, and there was also an issue with the growth of her placenta. She and her family were worried about Kim’s health if she were to get pregnant a third time, so it’s honestly good that she decided not to risk it.

If you’re at all confused about the process of surrogacy, call in sick to work tomorrow and watch that season of Friends where Phoebe has her brother’s babies. You don’t *technically* need to watch the entire season to understand the gist—they explain it in like, one episode—but you should probably do it anyway just to be safe. Now that we think about it, Kim probably should choose Lisa Kudrow as her surrogate since she’s pretend-carried three babies, so like, carrying one baby for real should be a piece of cake. And honestly a world where the real-life Phoebe Buffay was carrying Kim Kardashian’s child would be the most interesting episode of Keeping Up since the time Kim lost her diamond earring in the ocean.

Kim has talked about the possibility of a surrogate in the past, but now it seems like she’s ready to take the plunge. She said that last year’s robbery in Paris gave her a greater sense of urgency, and she’s also probably jealous now that Beyoncé has three kids of her own.

Both Khloé and Chrissy Teigen have publicly offered to be Kim’s surrogate, so she has choices. It would actually be so hilarious if Kim chose Chrissy over her own sister, but wilder things have happened in that family. We wish Blac Chyna could be the surrogate just for the drama, but she would also probably poison the unborn baby or something.

No news yet on when Kimye baby #3 might be arriving, but no doubt he/she’ll have a weird name and an incredible sense of style.