All Your Favorite TV Shows Are Getting Canceled

Every May, television networks scramble to make it seem like everything is good and fine, and they announce a whole bunch of new shows you’ll never watch, while also canceling most of the ones you’ve never heard of. Every year, though, there are a few beloved cancelations, or at least shows you’ve watched because you’re too lazy to get up and change the channel. Some have managed to hang on, like Grey’s Anatomy (fucking how??) and New Girl, which have both been renewed for another season. Unfortunately, not everyone can get so lucky. Like Jack in the icy waters at the end of Titanic, here’s what won’t be coming back:

1. ‘The Vampire Diaries’

We really hope you’re not still watching this in 2017, but we know old habits can die hard. The CW is the patron saint of letting shows go on for way too long (i.e. Supernatural getting a 13TH SEASON), but it was time for this one to go. Poor Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder will have to find something else to do, but we’re not that worried. This is one of the last remnants of the late 2000s vampire craze, so honestly we’re happy to see it go.

Vampire Diaries

2. ‘Bones’

This is one of those shows where you had absolutely no idea when new episodes were on, but somehow you feel like you’ve seen at least half of them. There will still be plenty of reruns, but Zooey Deschanel’s less quirky sister will have to find a new gig. To be fair, this lasted 12 seasons, which is incredible for a show that literally has one plot line.

3. ‘Scream Queens’

Ryan Murphy has many shows: American Horror Story, American Crime Story, Feud…and Scream Queens. As fun and ridiculous as it was, this little project never fully got off the ground, and season 2 was pretty fucking tragic. It was sort of like Glee 2.0, but with fake blood instead of musical numbers. For now, Emma Roberts can go back to asking Auntie Julia for money, and Lea Michele can go away forever.

Scream Queens

4. ‘Masters of Sex’

You’ve never actually seen a full episode of this show, but you know it has Janis Ian and that your mom absolutely loves it. Now where will she get her wide array of cringey conversation topics? Gone, but not forgotten.

5. ‘Girls’

Okay, Girls didn’t so much get canceled as like, mutually agreed to be ended, but we’re still sad to see it go. Yeah, all the characters were the fucking worst, but that really just made them more relatable. For now, we’ll wait patiently for an Elijah spinoff.


6. ‘Pretty Little Liars’

God Bless anyone who still watches this mess. You’re a real trooper, and you should probably get your head checked out or something. We miss a simpler time, when we didn’t fear for our rights and our most pressing concern was figuring out who the fuck was A.

7. ‘Orphan Black’

Tatiana Maslany’s mind-bending performance on this show has made her one of the baddest betches on TV, and we’re sad to see it go. Like a chill party that never quite got invaded by hordes of basic girls, Orphan Black was always just the right amount of underrated.

Orphan Black

8. ‘Teen Wolf’

We’ll miss this one, not as a source of quality television programming, but as a source of hot abs and dramatic gifs. We’re not crying, you’re crying.