Drake Got Food Poisoning in Amsterdam, But Was He Just High? An Investigation

By 50 Shades Of Betch | March 29, 2017
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Drake was supposed to perform in Amsterdam on Monday night, and now he has fans angry because he had to cancel the show at the last minute—a power move we honestly kind of respect because it didn’t affect us personally. The official reason given was that he had “extreme food poisoning,” which is the excuse we all give when we call out sick at work with a massive hangover. Because most of us weren’t born yesterday, rumors are now swirling that Drake wasn’t sick and was he really just high. So was he? Let’s investigate. *cue Law & Order DUN DUN*

First of all, this “food poisoning”. Drake said he ate some sushi that “messed up his stomach,” and “had to get medical treatment immediately.” Then a doctor supposedly told him not to perform. Okay, so bad sushi is definitely a thing, so this would check out if this happened to you or your boss, but not one of the most popular (and rich) rappers in the world. Where the fuck was he getting this sushi, a stand on the side of the road? This is a guy who goes to Nobu with Jennifer Lawrence; the notion that Drake would even BE at a place that serves questionable sushi is highly suspect.

Suspicious

So the food poisoning claim is dubious at best, and let’s not forget where this concert was happening: Amsterdam, the weed capital of the world. Drake has certainly been known to enjoy a bit of la marijuana now and then, and it’s hard to believe he would go to Amsterdam and not stop at a “coffee shop” for a little pick-me-up. So what if it was bad weed and not bad sushi? Or what if Drake was just super blazed and couldn’t remember all seven words to “Hotline Bling”? We’re just saying, it happened to Dave Chappelle, it could certainly happen to Drake.

Another important thing to note is that this is the third concert Drake has postponed in Amsterdam in 2017. And it’s only been 2017 for three months. The other two were for technical reasons or some shit like that (too much codeine?), so maybe he just hates the Netherlands. Either way, his Dutch fanbase is probably getting smaller by the day because he’s hurt them so many times. Which might not be that bad, actually, because Drake of all people can surely relate to being burned by an ex one too many times.

Outraged

So did Drake really eat bad sushi? We think the fuck not, but technically we’ll never quite know for sure. One thing is for sure, though: if you’re in Amsterdam and still buying tickets to see Drake, you’re just playing yourself at this point.