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4 Oral Sex Positions That Will *Actually* Get You Off

I’ll be honest — until a few weeks ago, I didn’t know that oral sex even had positions. I could sum up all the positions I knew for getting head like this: lying down. And while I’ve literally listed “lying down” as a hobby on my resume Instagram, I feel dumb AF for not switching it up sooner. After all, regular sex feels vastly different depending on position. Smart betch that you are, I’m sure you’ll understand why the same thing is true for oral sex. Learn from my mistakes and try the following oral sex positions ASAP.

New Oral Sex Positions To Switch Things Up:

Live On The Edge

I’m going with abstract headers here, because I refuse to invent more ridiculous titles for sex positions. Find a (sturdy) counter high enough that your feet don’t touch the ground, and sit right on the edge. Your partner should get on their knees in front of you. Leg positioning is up to you, but spreading your legs (or your partner holding them back) or keeping your knees wide but resting your lower legs on their back (for added control) both feel amazing. If lying flat on your back makes you feel a little overly exposed — or if it just doesn’t give them access to what gets you off — this is a good move. You’ll have complete control of pace, angle, and pretty much everything else.

*Insert Joke About The Letter V*

Okay, so Cosmo actually calls this “The Deep V,” but for obvious reasons, I didn’t want to lead with that. It’s actually some pretty great advice for a really simple variation on oral sex. You lift your legs in a — you guessed it! — V shape (hold ankles or knees, whatever flexibility allows). Your partner — yup, guessed it again — goes down on you. BUT they also use their hands to “lightly massage your inner thighs.” According to Cosmo, this brings more blood to your “~*~VuLvA~*~” (aka makes the whole area feel even more sensitive and stimulated). Do I recommend using the words “blood” or “vulva” in a casual hookup situation? Yes, because I love seeing fear in men’s eyes maybe not. But feel free to just direct their hands to your thighs and gently demonstrate how you’d like to be touched. If they’re not completely clueless, they’ll follow your lead.

Fake Doggy

Get on all fours, but the one where you’re on your forearms and it’s a face down/ass up situation. *Ludacris’s “What’s Your Fantasy” plays on a loop in my head for the remainder of the day.* (You can stay on your hands and knees if you want, but it’s more of a human centipede angle. Do not recommend.) If you’ve never had someone eat you out from behind before, prepare to be hit with a whole new world of oral sex possibilities. (Not even talking about ass stuff yet, chill out). The point is, you’ll probably find out a lot of new information about what gets you off and where you like to be touched the first time you try this, because it’s a totally different experience and you have the (literal) upper hand, so you can guide them wherever you like.

Sit On Their Face

No real need to be clever or overly detailed here, you all know what this is. Sadly, it’s been so meme-ified that you all probably know it more in the context of a compliment a gross man would give a woman than as an actual sexual act. And I’ll be honest, it’s not my favorite. But it does incorporate one element I love in particular: power and control. You’ll notice a lot of these other positions offer the same bonus. But clearly, men aren’t always getting the orgasm job done on their own. If you want something done right, put a woman in charge. When you sit on someone’s face, you’ve achieved the ultimate level of power. You get off on exactly the pressure and pace you want, and you also get off on the sheer feeling of running the show.

One word of advice for this particular position: don’t rest the full weight of your lower body on his face for any amount of time. It’s rude, it’s slightly dangerous, and it probably will not feel that great for you either. Treat it like a light thigh workout and remember that this is about feeling powerful — not planting your weight directly over someone’s air supply.

What not to do:

While these positions are a great way to get started, the real takeaway is simple. You have to treat oral sex like all other kinds of sex. And that means the first thing you try almost definitely isn’t going to be what works best for you. So keep experimenting until you know exactly what gets you off best. There’s a reason that blow job articles are all about making it better for you, not for him. His orgasm is basically guaranteed — so make sure yours is too.

The Betch In Apartment 23
The Betch In Apartment 23