To make this short and sweet, I'm a virgin in my late teens. I have been exclusively hooking up with this guy I really like for four months now. I know he cares about me, but we've never felt the need to officially be boyfriend and girlfriend although we have discussed the idea of it a few times. Anyways, lately we've been talking about having sex. It's his first time too, and he has absolutely never pressured me into thinking about it whatsoever. However, after floating the possibility around to my best friends, they flipped. They said it would be the biggest mistake in my life to lose my virginity to someone who is not technically my “boyfriend.” I am 100% percent ready to have sex and I feel no need to put unnecessary labels on a relationship I am already secure about.
Should I listen to my friends or go with my gut? I know I have to make my own mistakes, but I don't want to immediately regret this decesion.
I'm ready but they aren't…
Dear I'm Ready but they Aren't,
I may have to sort of agree with your friends on this one. Why would a guy you're exclusively hooking up with not want to call you his girlfriend? It may be a way to easily ditch when a better option comes along or a safeguard in case he's no longer 'feeling it'. Granted, he can do that whether you have sex with him or not, but you'll feel a lot shittier if he does it after sex. Make sure this guy is totally committed before cashing in your V-card. You may not know this but your body releases all sorts of crazy hormones after you have a sex with a guy that will make you way more attached to him than you were before that. It's called oxytocin. Google it. You may think you're chill with an exclusive hook-up label on the guy you've decided to put out for, but you'll feel a lot more possessive for the branding after sex. Bottom line: if he likes it then he better put a fucking label on it.