Hard Launching Your Baby Is The New Pregnancy Announcement — Just Ask Mindy Kaling

We all know Mindy Kaling is the queen of basically everything — I mean, hi, she is the business bitch, the diet bitch, the shopping bitch, and the etiquette bitch, after all. But while the multi-hyphen (who can honestly just be referred to by her first name because EVERYONE KNOWS MINDY) is a literal icon, one unique way she puts everyone to shame is with her pregnancy announcements. Or — more accurately — her lack thereof.

ICYMI, the actress, comedian, screenwriter, producer, and mother, recently announced the birth of her third child, Anne, who was born in late February. While yes, having a kiddo is reason enough to gather attention, it’s the fact that Mindy managed to keep yet another pregnancy under wraps that has everyone talking. She hides the bump, doesn’t complain about the weird symptoms, and doesn’t hint to her adoring fans that she’s expecting until the baby has arrived and is about to start college.

You see, while pregnancy announcements (like gender reveals) are A Thing, Mindy’s choice to keep her private details, well, private, is a relatively new phenomenon on social media, where every ultrasound and bump pic was once eagerly posted. In fact, more and more parents-to-be are waiting until they pop out their little liability to clue the world in. And honestly, while I’m a sucker for getting 6+ months of doting and attention from the masses, the reasons to hard launch your baby à la Mindy might make more sense than posting that 12-week sono. Here’s why you might want to consider jumping on the “new pregnancy announcement is no announcement” trend.

It Takes the Pressure Off

Trying to come up with a clever-yet-non-cringe way to let everyone know you’re expecting is almost as hard as trying to conceive. Then, once you decide if you’re going to be funny, sappy, sarcastic, or ~*deep,*~ you have to figure out when to post. Do you wait until after you see a heartbeat? After the first trimester ultrasound? After the 20-week anatomy scan? “I had a miscarriage the summer before this baby was born, and I was so scared something was going to happen,” an anonymous mom (let’s call her Moira) tells Betches. “It became almost like a superstitious thing.”

For to-be-moms who are high-risk, have experienced pregnancy loss, battle infertility, or just can’t settle on a cheesy PDF from Etsy to announce the news, this strategy lets you bypass all of that and focus on what’s important (like getting up the courage to ask your OBGYN all of those awkward, pregnancy-related questions).

There’s a Level of Protection

For those who haven’t been paying attention to literally any news ever, our reproductive rights are in jeopardy. Actually, wait, scratch that. Our reproductive rights have basically reverted to those of the dark ages, where people with vaginas are viewed as birthing machines. Love it here! And as someone who lives in Florida (I know), choosing to announce your pregnancy on a very public, very monitored forum feels… maybe a little reckless? NIPT (non-invasive prenatal testing) results don’t typically come back until 11 to 12 weeks, and the 20-week anatomy scan is when many fetal conditions are revealed. If the worst happens and you have to make the impossible choice of terminating, do you really want to deal with scrubbing your socials while you flee the state to get the healthcare you should be entitled to?

It Keeps The People Guessing

Everyone loves a lil mystery — that’s why Gossip Girl and Lady Whistledown are the HBICs (head bitches in charge). We’re all scandal sluts, but more than that, we love to be surprised with gossip so good we can’t help but pull up the group text while our jaws are still on the floor. Posting your baby once it’s entered the world gives you 9+ months of clever photo ops and strategic Easter eggs.

Sip a La Croix in your 4th of July post. Take pics head-on so your bump is hidden (a true Mindy trick). Stick with artsy shots of landscapes and pets when your face is puffy AF in the third trimester. As soon as your kiddo is out, everyone will scroll back through your posts, inspecting for a sign you were ~with child.~ Yes, it’ll up the engagement on your profile (bless), but more than that, people will wonder what other secrets are happening behind social media. Xoxo, amiright?

And Those Same People Will Annoy You Less

IMHO, one of the most brutal parts about being pregnant isn’t the morning sickness or the cankles or the fact that you’re only allowed to sleep on your left side (when you can sleep at all). Nope, it’s that every person you’ve ever made eye contact with will take it upon themselves to offer advice or ask probing questions.

Your estranged aunt will text you for weekly updates, while the annoying girl from your sorority — who you haven’t spoken to in a decade — will DM you nonstop because she had a baby last year, so she’s the expert. Have you been feeling movement? Do you know the gender? Are you dilated? You’ll get enough of that from your immediate family and inner circle. You don’t need a bunch of randos bombarding you about your cervix your entire third trimester.

You’ve Got Enough Going On

One of the best reasons to skip the whole pregnancy announcement? It’s just another thing on your to-do list. “I don’t really post on social media much,” explains another anonymous mom, “So it wasn’t like the world was waiting for my big reveal. And even if they were, I have two other kids. I don’t have time to schedule professional pictures holding up an ultrasound with some sort of clever caption. I’m TIRED.” Between nonstop appointments with your OBGYN, buying a bunch of baby shit, and preparing yourself for the whole labor/birth/caring for a newborn thing, coming up with a cute announcement can easily be omitted from your list.

The Attention Will Be Iconic

Safety, vulnerability, and hassle aside, one of the best reasons to hard launch your baby is simply because it’s a v cool thing to do. “I think it’s really chic, and it made me feel like a celebrity,” Moira says. “The reason I decided to finally post the baby was that it started to feel weird not to. Most everyone in my life knew since they’d seen me pregnant, but there are always some stragglers.”

No, you won’t get to brag about your pregnancy for months on social, but honestly, is that the best look? This way, you get to avoid all the annoying questions, create a level of protection for yourself, and guarantee a ton of likes (not to mention random new mom presents) when you post a casual “Surprise! Had a baby!” pic from the hospital. Pretty sure the hard launch is the new pregnancy announcement, and I, for one, am here for it. Keep your eyes peeled on my IG, dears – who knows what easter eggs I’ll be posting the next time I get knocked up!