Yes, You Should Cut A Dude Off If He “Stays Out Of” Politics
The eighth season of Love Is Blind is serving up a little something different than the previous parade of circus clowns of episodes yore. But even though this cast is not drumming up chaos as dramatically as some of their predecessors, that doesn’t mean they haven’t managed to casually drop some heiny takes in the pods that are total proof we need to reopen the schools.
One such benignly delivered load of BS came from Ben, a man who seemed forgettably pleasant until he told his match, Sara, that he “stays out of” politics because the issues don’t impact his daily life. Ben slipped this revelation in from left field after the couple had pretty seamlessly cruised through the teeny tiny topic of organized religion. Sara, naturally, felt hoodwinked, bamboozled, and led astray (if not flat-out deceived), but in a different pod down the hall, Molly was unfazed that her love interest, Dave, thought politics had no place on Hinge.
If you watched those scenes and thought, “Wow, I hope I never have to explain to a man why having a ‘heart’ about political issues does matter,” go ahead and bookmark these thoughts on why politics do matter in dating so I can save you some time. In fact, help your girlfriends out and throw this one in the group chat.
Ben And Sara’s Conversation About Politics on Love Is Blind
After confirming Ben accepts the LGBTQ community (since many conservative religious groups cherry-pick enforcing this boundary under biblical pretenses), Sara probably thought she was in the clear. But she still chose to do the grown-up thing and dedicate a pod session to “controversial topics” to make sure they aligned where it mattered most. At the top of episode 4, Sara explains that she grew up “in a conservative household,” then became apathetic about political issues until “Trump took office and George Floyd,” a common awakening point for a lot of sheltered non-POCs in the United States.
Ben goes on to drop a truth bomb even Truth Social couldn’t handle: he sticks his head in the sand, Kimmy Schmidt-style (“I’m not really here!”), even when it comes to life and death current events. In Ben’s own words: “I’m kind of ignorant towards that sort of stuff” because “as long as I don’t know, it’s not gonna, you know, do much.” He even admits to not voting in 2020, to which Sara responds, “That is so annoying.” When Sara presses Ben for his thoughts on Black Lives Matter (the simple premise that Black individuals are worthy of life and civility just like everybody else), Ben says he just “kind of keep[s] out of it.” It’s at this point in the episode that I thought I might lose consciousness from the sheer audacity.
It’s one thing to be undereducated or repulsed by the nuances of our complex (and broken) two-party system. But to actively avoid information on the biggest social issues (AKA human rights) so that you can pretend everything is chill, like it’s a cleaning reminder from your dentist, is the literal definition of privilege. And yes, white privilege, because only a dude who looks like he belongs in a J.Crew ad can afford to not give a shit about police brutality or the Trump presidency as a whole.
Is Dave Bettenburg a Trump supporter?
Season 8’s plastic surgery troublemaker, Dave, ofc had some political wisdom to throw into the mix. On a date with Molly in episode 3, Dave asks her what she thinks about politics. Molly assures him couples don’t “need to agree 100% on every single thing” because her own parents were in opposing political parties.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a free thinker (though the term is usually co-opted by grown men who think a rich dude is a god because he brought a Lego car to life). Dave’s Kylie Jenner-coded observation (“We all have different backgrounds and learn different things”) is objectively a valid statement. But where their conversation really gagged me was the smug presumption that everyone who uses political preferences on Hinge is “just dumb” for thinking “that one certain belief is so wrong compared to what you think.”
Dave’s tired-ass suggestion that Republican tax write-offs (which he probably doesn’t even qualify for) are worthy of balancing against Liberals “having a better heart” is a line of logic that frankly never made sense but definitely expired in 2016. I actually will say, with my whole chest, that many issues currently at stake are “so wrong,” like the GOP’s systematic attack on female bodily autonomy and Trump’s racially motivated censorship of anti-discrimination work in schools, to name a few. More than that, it is laughable that these two really thought they ate with some sort of unheard-of dating hack: just agree to disagree because no side is entirely right!
Religion And Faith Can’t Be Mutually Exclusive
In episode 10, aptly titled “Oh Spare Me,” Ben and Virginia finally broach politics during pillow talk. After six whole minutes of beating around the bush, Virginia pushes her last lingering question: “What about politics?” Devin repeats the sentence back to her as if he’s an alien and it’s his first day on Earth. He then admits he’s not “super big on politics,” meaning he “doesn’t have a strong stance on it.” However, Virginia is a democrat who believes in a woman’s right to choose and that voting is important either way. Devin, the man who just said he’s politically uninformed, decides to question if she aligns her faith with her vote.
Soon after, Devin’s question makes sense when he reveals his family votes conservatively because of their Christian beliefs (Black American conservatives, I have a million questions, but primarily, HUH??). Devin concedes he’s okay with abortions, though the man’s opinion should be considered. He then questions if it would be a problem for Virginia if he voted differently from her. She essentially laughs off the question, but the fear in her eyes is hard to miss.
It’s clear for Devin that the task of navigating traditional religious beliefs in the modern-day voting booth was too daunting (or perhaps, embarrassing, if a woman like Virginia had evidence of his choices). He’d rather sit out the exercise entirely.
Ben was equally, if not more, invested in his religion than Devin. But as someone who has peaked at the Bible a time or two, I feel pretty confident in summarizing that Jesus did not “stay out of it,” so I’m confused about how these devout dudes feel comfortable going mute.
Why Politics Matter In Dating
I don’t know who needs to hear this (other than Ben, Dave, Virginia, and Molly), but tabling core beliefs on how you think the world should work is a horrible foot to enter a relationship on. As Sara pointed out, when it comes to dodging world news like spam emails, it may not make you “actively racist,” but it does make you criminally selfish since you’re willing to let those who are actively hateful win.
Ladies, do you really want to date a dude who can’t muster up a shit to give about the suffering of neighbors in his hometown, country, or world simply because they are out of his sight, out of mind? Certainly doesn’t bode well for how he’ll stand up for you when things get difficult at home or in a world where women are still down ten cents on the dollar and survivors of sexual assault at a rate of one in six.
Sara 10/10 nailed it when she told her fiancé that caring about “basic human rights, equality…speaks volumes about who you are as a person” despite it being “so easy” for white people to “not have an opinion.” Like, crack one single history book if you need to understand why stripping rights from the most vulnerable groups eventually affects everyone.
Both she and Virginia didn’t call off their marriages solely because of their men’s political apathy, but both tearfully admitted in their rented wedding dresses it was a huge factor. If they couldn’t communicate about this, what else was off the table?
IDK about you, but I don’t need a personal incentive to feel compelled to call out when something wrong is happening in front of my face (though, as a Black woman, I unforch wasn’t offered the same noise-canceling headphones Ben was born with). The political is the personal, and we are the GD people!
Hinge has a lot of faults (give me one glass of wine, and I’ll tell you them all in alphabetical order). Still, the one thing they got right is allowing me to avoid fighting with a total stranger about the basic rights I need to live as a functioning member of society when I should be interviewing my next simp.
Put simply, no one should have to romantically entertain someone whose response to their health safety being critically at risk is “ehhh.”
Topics: Love Is (Not) Blind, Politics, Reality TV
Marissa Dow