Every holiday movie has the same plot: girl unexpectedly meets boy, boy falls in love with girl, something tragic happens, boy and girl profess their feelings, they kiss passionately against the backdrop of a professionally decorated Christmas tree with fake snow falling around them. Yawn. 

Although I usually put up with that cookie-cutter plot every year, I decided to try something a bit different (and way more entertaining) this December: re-watching the holiday episodes from my favorite TV shows. 

Given that basically every holiday party is canceled, in-person shopping is hardly a thing, and the gyms are closed (although let’s face it, I wouldn’t be going even if they were open), I had all the time in the world to cuddle up with a weighted blanket and a (spiked) hot drink and laugh, cry, and feel all sorts of emotion while watching classic shows like Parks and Recreation, Gilmore Girls, and 30 Rock. 

As my wonderful gift to you, I’ve listed the best holiday episodes from all our favorite shows so that you too can fill your time this December with something other than watching people’s annoying Instagram Stories and cringey attempts at creating Reels. Enjoy! 

‘New Girl’ – “LAXmas” Season 4 Episode 11

There is literally nothing more relatable in these COVID-19 times than having your holiday plans ruined, your vacation canceled, and you therefore not being able to post that thirst trap bikini pic in December. Call me a masochist, but that’s why I loved re-watching this episode of New Girl. I got to commiserate, emphasize, and shout “HA! You got screwed too!” at the TV when Jess, Nick, Winston, and Schmidt’s holiday flights were canceled. 

’30 Rock’ – “Ludachristmas” Season 2 Episode 9

It’s as if Tina Fey knew we needed something to prove that there are families out there more dysfunctional than our own when they created this episode. In the most hilarious way, we see the picture-perfect Lemon family break down after an outing with Jack and his mother, and the TGS crew have their party plans hijacked by Kenneth. Plus, I promise this is the exact Rockefeller-related holiday content you need to get that sad excuse for a tree they put up this year out of your mind.  

‘The O.C.’ – “The Best Chrismukkah Ever” Season 1 Episode 13

Confession time: I completely forgot about The O.C. until I Googled “shows like Gossip Girl” this summer… and then promptly re-binged it with no regrets. And one of the most entertaining, dramatic, and heartwarming episodes happens to be a holiday one, where Seth introduces Ryan to the wonders of Chrismukkah and struggles in a love triangle between himself, Anna, and Summer. I have to admit, seeing a love triangle that didn’t involve me, my fridge, and Netflix was actually pretty refreshing. 

‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ – “Christmas Chaos” Season 16 Episode 9

Being invited to the Kardashians’ annual Holiday Party is on my bucket list, Amazon wishlist, and in my letter to Santa every year. Is there anywhere else I can add it at this point? But while my invite is still lost in the mail, the next best thing is to watch the party unfold on TV. And I promise you, this is one of the most iconic holiday episodes ever. It’s the one where Kim is literally quoted saying, “This is so inappropriate. It is so so much money for one night.” Do I need to say more?

‘The Office’ – “A Benihana Christmas” Season 3 Episode 10 & 11

We’ve all been that psycho b*tch, but in this episode Michael takes crazy to a whole new level. How? By Photoshopping his face onto his girlfriend’s ex-husband’s body in one of their old family photos, and sending it out as his Christmas card. And, no spoilers, but this episode includes some major Pam vs. Angela drama and a classic Jim prank on Dwight that will make you forget about TikTok for, like, 20 minutes. 

‘Gilmore Girls’ – “Women of Questionable Morals” Season 5 Episode 11

Some things are just the f*cking worst until someone comes along and makes it special for you (like Valentine’s Day, for a totally random example). And that’s the case for Lorelai and her feelings toward snow in this episode, until Luke surprises her with a romantic snow-related gift that made even a Grinch like me say, “AWWWW!”. Beyond the snow drama, this episode also features the cutest little stray dog that brings Emily and Richard together in a true holiday miracle kind of way. 

‘Friends’ – “The One with Phoebe’s Dad” Season 2, Episode 9

You know that friend who waits until the last possible moment to buy their presents? Well, be prepared to watch Joey and Chandler do that exact thing… and be forced to buy their gifts at a place I only go into when I really need to pee during a road trip. And, as if that’s not enough comedy, what screams tradition more than some classic Ross and Rachel drama? Be prepared to get your fill of it this episode. 

‘Gossip Girl’ – “Roman Holiday” Season 1 Episode 11

I’ve watched this episode about 14 times, so at this point let’s just say it’s a holiday tradition. I swear, no matter how many times you see Blair come up with a conniving plan to break up her Dad and his boyfriend, the story is guaranteed to transport you from your burrito-stained sweats and unmade bed to the Upper East side within moments. It’s the exact escape you didn’t even know you needed. 

‘New Girl’  – “The 23rd” Season 1 Episode 9

Picture this: Schmidt shirtless, wearing just a Santa hat and Santa shorts. If that’s not enough to convince you to re-watch this episode, keep in mind that the theme is how dealing with new relationships around the holidays is stressful AF (relatable, right?). Like any New Girl episode, this one will have you laughing at the lovable, entertaining, and slightly inappropriate trouble the crew gets themselves into at Schmidt’s office party.

‘Fuller House’ – “Oh My Santa” Season 4 Episode 1

Even though the holidays may suck more than usual this year, just know that for the first and probably only time in your life, your holiday season is going better than Lori Loughlin’s. And speaking of which, this episode of Fuller House is sure to bring a smile to your face, despite how cheesy the plot is. The most relatable part? Tommy throwing a tantrum in the mall. Been there, done that (and over much less, if I may add). 

‘Parks and Recreation’ – “Citizen Knope” Season 4 Episode 10

Are you one of those people who re-gifts an old box of chocolate or nauseating-smelling candle to your co-workers every year? If you said “yes”, you seriously need to take notes during this episode. While Leslie is off work for two weeks, Ann rallies the Parks department to create a special holiday gift for Leslie. As cheesy as the gift is, it’s actually pretty sweet (pun intended) and will probably make you feel as warm and fuzzy inside as the spiked eggnog you’re sipping. 

‘Ally McBeal’ – “Silver Bells” Season 1 Episode 11

There’s something about watching Ally McBeal that brings back all sorts of early ‘00s nostalgia. And this episode gives us just that against the backdrop of a hectic office during the holidays (TBT to offices), and plots about Ally being her usual badass self and the romantic troubles the couples in the office are facing. I won’t reveal if there are any holiday miracles at the end of the episode, but I can safely say you’ll be feeling emotions far from the disappointment Kyle Richards felt when she realized bangs just weren’t her thing. 

‘Modern Family’ – “Undeck the Halls” Season 1 Episode 10

If you want to escape the stressful bullsh*t of your family’s holiday Zoom call by finding another family going through equally dramatic times, look no further. In a mix of both hilarious and feel-good storylines, you’ll get to emphasize with the Dunphy kids as their parents cancel Christmas until someone fesses up to ruining their sofa. Plus, you get to see what happens when Cam and Mitchell say something we’ve all thought at least once in our lives: “this mall Santa is just not jolly enough”.

Cougar Town – “Cry To Me” Season 2 Episode 14

If you’re the kind of person who gets pissed when people leave their holiday decor up way past December, this episode will make you feel more seen than ever. Now bear with me, because this episode is actually more about Valentine’s Day than Christmas, but it still delivers an accurate depiction of how crazy people get around any holiday. 

‘Brooklyn 99’ – “The Pontiac Bandit Returns” Season 2 Episode 10

Amy’s weird-yet-adorable admiration for Captain Holt is somehow one of the most entertaining things to watch (because who TF actually likes their boss?). And as odd as their relationship is, this episode delivers just the right amount of it, showing us Amy working hard (but hardly working on her actual work) to get around Holt’s “no gift” policy. And, to quote the queen of the holidays, Dorinda Medley, we see Jake “make it nice” with his nemesis/best friend Doug Judy in order to gather intel for Rosa. 

Images: Netflix; Giphy (12)

With all the free time we have during this pandemic, so many of us are ripping through TV at a pace production companies can’t keep up with. We’ve binged all the new shows—Tiger King, Too Hot to Handle, Selling Sunset—and we’re now reverting back to the shows we loved as teens. Nothing wrong with a little nostalgia, right? I’m talking Gossip Girl, The Hills, Gilmore Girls…the good sh*t.

Given that we’ve watched these shows from start to finish more times than we’d like to admit, the plot lines, character arcs, outfits, and drama frankly no longer surprise us. Hell, I can quote some of the lines by heart as I watch Blair and Serena fight. 

With that being said, let me bring back an element of surprise for you and give you some fun facts you’ve never heard before about the shows—everything from BTS drama between cast members to tea on certain people’s auditions and more. 

1. ‘The Hills’

 The cast provided their own wardrobe and styling.

Adam DiVello, producer of The Hills, revealed that the cast had to supply their own wardrobe during the show. Since this was the time before brand deals and Revolve sponsorships (can’t believe such a time period existed), this meant the cast was styling and dressing themselves out of their own pocket. 

DiVello explained this decision in an interview with InStyle, saying “We always wanted the girls to wear their own clothes….What you wear represents who you are. It’s an extension of your personality.” 

He also disclosed that the cast wasn’t provided any on-set hair or makeup either. NGL, I’m annoyed that I have to do my own hair and makeup, and I’m not even on TV—so I can’t imagine the cast was too thrilled about that rule. 

So even though the cast ultimately made a sh*t ton of money as the series went on, Heidi Montag revealed that much of her season one looks were thrifted outfits, and Stephanie Pratt said she only hired makeup artists and hair stylists during season three. 

The burning question: is Adam DiVello making the Selling Sunset cast supply their own wardrobe and looks as well? If he is, can someone get me a quote on how much Christine Quinn charges for styling consults? And hair braiding lessons? I need to know.

2. ‘How I Met Your Mother’

Neil Patrick Harris was against Britney Spears being cast. 

Remember when Britney Spears had her infamous meltdown in 2007 and was put under a temporary conservatorship (“temporary”…and here we are a decade later…)? Well, the one thing you may have had in common with Britney at the time was that she was watching a lot of How I Met Your Mother. 

She reportedly loved HIMYM so much that, in early 2008, she asked her management team to reach out to the show and see if she could be cast in an episode. The show’s creators liked the idea, and gave her a role that was set to appear in a single episode only.

For anyone who’s ever seen Britney perform before, here’s the surprise we all saw coming: she absolutely SLAYED her performance in that first episode (duh), so the show wrote her into a second.

It wasn’t just the show’s producers and creators who loved Britney; the viewers did as well. In fact, viewership and ratings went up significantly during the episodes in which she appeared. Despite the healthy bump in numbers, Neil Patrick Harris—who played Barney in the series—was opposed to having celebrity cameos on the show. Although it was nothing against Britney herself, he made it clear that he believed the show didn’t need celebrity drop-ins to generate a following. 

My opinion? There’s never enough Britney content. If it were up to me, I would have pulled an Oops! I Did It Again, and written her into episode after episode after episode. 

3. ‘Gossip Girl’

Leighton Meester and Blake Lively weren’t IRL best friends.

Blair and Serena may have been BFF goals on-screen, but apparently they weren’t as close off the set of Gossip Girl. So I hate to break it to you, but when you and your sixth-grade bestie pretended to be Blair and Serena, you were kind of modeling your friendship after something that wasn’t real. 

Although the off-screen relationship between Leighton Meester (Blair) and Blake Lively (Serena) wasn’t as tumultuous as their scripted fighting scenes, it wasn’t much different than the relationship you have with that random coworker whose name you can’t remember (Is it Christine? Kristina? Didn’t she, like, get transferred to another department? Or…maybe she quit?). 

Joshua Safran, a writer for the show, was quoted in Vanity Fair saying, “Blake and Leighton were not friends. They were friendly, but they were not friends like Serena and Blair.” He went on to speculate that the reason behind their non-friendship was their differing personalities: “You talk to Blake on a very contemporary level, and she would be like, ‘I’m doing this thing tonight. Have you been to this restaurant?’ Leighton was very removed and very quiet, and, after her scenes were done, she would wander the stage.”

NGL, seems like Leighton circa the Gossip Girl era was more prepared for this pandemic than Lively. 

4. ‘Gilmore Girls’

Ryan Gosling was almost cast.

How many hours have you spent watching Gilmore Girls? Upwards of, like, 1,000? Guess what—some of those hours could have been spent staring at Ryan Gosling, who was almost cast in the series. 

At the Gilmore Girls Fan Fest in 2016, the show’s casting director, Jami Rudofsky, revealed that she brought in Gosling to audition for a minor role. She’d previously cast him in an independent film, so she knew his work and wanted to bring his seemingly impressive talents over to Gilmore Girls. 

To the misfortune of Gosling stans everywhere, he apparently bombed his audition, and that’s why he didn’t get the role. UGH, Ryan! We were all rooting for you!

So who was burned worse: the viewers who were robbed of precious Ryan Gosling screentime, or Rudofsky when her casting team was pissed she brought in such a sub-par candidate? Personally, I say us viewers suffered more. 

5. ‘One Tree Hill’

Producers wrote Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray’s IRL breakup into the show.

As a One Tree Hill fan or pop culture junkie, you know all about the fact that Sophia Bush (Brooke) and Chad Michael Murray (Lucas) had an IRL relationship. Sure, their marriage may have lasted longer than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ infamous 72-day union, but it was still over pretty damn quick. 

The couple split in September 2005, five months into the marriage and around the time that season three of One Tree Hill was airing. 

The tea? Bush has recently come out and publicly exposed the show’s producers for exploiting her and Murray’s breakup to stir up interest in the show. She claims they did everything from discussing it on set to writing it into the story lines to even running ads about it on TV. 

TBH, this makes them look like assholes. A girl needs to deal with her breakup the proper way—privately and/or with her friends, wearing pizza-stained sweats, and eating pint after pint after pint of ice cream. 

And, unfortunately, the exploitation didn’t stop there. Bush was quoted on Dax Shepard’s podcast, saying, “ made practice of taking advantage of people’s personal lives. Not just for me and for my ex—for other actors on the show who would share as you do when you get close to people. Deeply personal things that were happening in their lives and they would wind up in story lines.”

Soooo…were those producers trying to build a resume so they could apply for The Bachelor? That type of real-life romantic drama belongs on reality dating shows, not scripted teen dramas. 

6. ‘Lizzie McGuire’

Hilary Duff beat out Lindsay Lohan for the part of Lizzie because of outfit choices. 

Hundreds of girls, including Lindsay Lohan, had reportedly auditioned for the role of Lizzie McGuire. So why was Hilary Duff—who wasn’t a household name at the time like Lohan—cast over the Parent Trap star? Apparently, it was because of Duff’s style and outfit choices. 

Okay, that’s probably not the only reason she was cast, but it made her stand out according to Rich Ross, president of Disney Entertainment at the time: “When we were casting Lizzie McGuire, we called her in four times. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She just wore such great outfits, and we wanted to see what she’d come in with next.”

So I guess when my college professor said to “dress for the job we want”, that was good advice? If I had paid more attention to his interview tips, then maybe I wouldn’t be stuck living at home with my parents.

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Images: Everett Collection / Shutterstock.com; Giphy (6)

Anyone who knows me knows that I think Gossip Girl is the holy grail of terrible TV, and in these times, it has brought me a lot of comfort. Seriously, when I’m down and feeling blue because I haven’t seen another human being IRL since mid-March, just got laid off, and have been subsisting on DiGiorno for way too long, I think about that episode when everyone found out that Blair boned Nate and Chuck, and even Jenny didn’t want anything to do with her. Like, what’s a pandemic compared to Blair Waldorf’s slow and painful demise in the first season??

Anyway, if it isn’t clear, I re-watched the entire series over the course of the last two months and am blown away by the fact that none of the characters are bothered that everyone hooks up with everyone’s exes! Like, am I too old-fashioned for not wanting my best friend to f*ck my ex?? This got me thinking: GG definitely isn’t the only show whose cast is horny af for each other. So join me in taking a walk down memory lane.

‘Gossip Girl’

I obviously had to start with the messiest show of all time. In the first and best season, the couples kind of make sense since the characters are all supposed to be juniors in high school and the writers have lots to work with. Nate and Blair have allegedly been dating for 10 years (which means they started seeing each other when they were six, k) and Dan and Serena start dating. Again, this all seems normal. I stan! But then, the rest of the seasons happen and it is very clear that the writers were just kind of like, “idk whatever.”

Without going into too much detail because I have a word limit, I’ll just say that pretty much all of the guys in this show are eskimo brothers. Dan and Nate both hook up with Blair, Serena, and Vanessa; Jenny hooks up with Chuck and Nate; and Ivy, a random character who doesn’t matter, hooks up with Dan, Nate and Rufus (!!). I’m not necessarily judging because everyone on this show is disturbingly attractive, but still, it’s a little crazy. These people are supposed to live in New York City and can’t find anyone outside their social circle to hook up with? Unrelated, but after season four, everyone just stopped going to college and no one acknowledges it.

‘Friends’

There is definitely some cross-contamination here even though it’s more subtle than that of GG. On a show with 10 seasons, it’s easy to forget who hooks up with whom, but luckily, I remember. Obviously, the two main couples are Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica, but there’s some overlap I haven’t forgotten about. Yes, I’m talking about Rachel hooking up with Joey. Let’s not forget that Phoebe also kissed Joey, although they never ended up together, even though Joey did propose. I’m also convinced that Monica and Chandler only got together because the writers didn’t feel like bringing in a new character crazy enough to date either of them.

There obv aren’t so many inter-cast relationships on Friends as there are on Gossip Girl, but there are def a few instances of the Friends dating the same people. For instance, Joey and Ross both dated the hot science lady, Charlie, and Joey and Chandler both dated Kathy. Ugh, come on, you guys!

‘Desperate Housewives’

I truly believe this was one of the best shows literally ever. If you haven’t watched it because you were too young to understand what was happening when it was on TV, give it a watch now. It’s on Hulu. Anyway, as its name implies, the main characters are all married, but there is one singleton who I absolutely live for. Edie Brit is the Samantha Jones of Desperate Housewives, and she has loves to f*ck her friends’ ex-husbands. Is it just me or does that sound like an intro on a Bravo show? She dates Gabby’s ex, two of Susan’s exes, and makes out with Bree’s ex. Yikes! Even though I love Edie as much as I love this show, which is a lot, I always thought that plot line was kind of weird and pointless.

‘Girls’

There were two really weird love triangles in this dumpster fire of a show: Adam/Jessa/Hannah and Ray/Marnie/Shoshanna. First of all, the whole premise of Girls is that, at least for a little while, they’re all bound by their strong female bond, so why are they all so quick to date each other’s boyfriends? Also, I’m confused why two gorgeous, cool, impressive women are both so into Old Man Ray. We’ll never know.

‘One Tree Hill’

Unlike my experience with Gossip Girl, I watched this show when it was on television and have not thought about it since, so my knowledge of inconspicuous details is pretty unimpressive. However, one thing I’ll never forget about this iconic mess is the love triangles. First we have Lucas/Peyton/Brooke then we have Nate/Peyton/Brooke. Uhhhhhh. Brooke and Peyton are the Blair and Serena of the early 2000s, so I guess it makes sense that they’re both down to hook up with each other’s boyfriends. The Nathan/Brooke situation was never super serious, but Lucas and Peyton got married! After she seriously dated Nathan! What! Does that make them the Dan and Serena of this show?

What did I miss? Are there any other shows where the cast loves to bang each other? Let me know in the comments!

Images: Everett Collection / Shutterstock.com; Giphy (5)

One of the things I love most about Gossip Girl is the slew of random characters whose sole purpose is to keep the plot interesting by shaking things up for our favorite four Upper East Siders and two annoying Brooklynites who endlessly complain about their unfortunate financial lot in life from their gigantic loft in one of New York’s most expensive neighborhoods. I digress. Anyway, as with any television show, each season introduces a few new characters, some of whom are truly perfect temporary additions to the cast, like Fleur Delacour Eva Coupeau, and others are less than perfect, like most of the writers’ choices. 

I’m a loyal GG lover, so I typically hold back when it comes to some of the laughable wardrobe choices, but as I rewatch this scripted trash for the ninth time, I can’t bite my tongue about the most egregious part of this show: the randos. Without further ado, I give you the worst and/or most annoying random characters who we all love to hate. Enjoy.

Juliet Sharp

For those of you who forgot who she is, allow me to remind you. She’s the sister of the boarding school teacher-turned-convicted-felon with whom Serena allegedly had an affair when she was 15 and he was…older than 15. Mhmm, makes sense. Anyway, if I had to pick the worst thing about Juliet, it would have to be the way she dresses. Literally, all of her outfits are different yet heinous versions of the same business-professional dress with a cropped blazer over it. Like???? When I was in college, I literally wore jeans and sweaters every goddamn day.

Aside from her sartorial errors. her character is also incredibly creepy. I’m pretty sure the most disturbing exchange in this entire series is one that took place between Juliet and her brother during a prison visit when she says, “Keep your focus on not getting raped or killed” to which he responds, “It’s a minimum security prison” and she counters with, “And you’re hot” and then they seductively hold hands across the table and exchange minxy smiles. I think it’s totally okay to say he’s handsome or attractive because, criminal or not, he is both of those things, but hot? That’s your BROTHER. Why don’t you go take a cold shower, sis! Also, her whole purpose on this show is to, like, physically injure Serena and get her expelled from college, which is pretty shameful. Even Georgina would disapprove of this. 

Damien Dalgaard 

Damien has a lot of unfortunate qualities that earned him a spot on this list, but the one thing I truly couldn’t stand was how condescending he was to Jenny while they were dating. When they were about to have sex, she was really nervous because she was a virgin and he was like, “I get it. I’m older than you and when I date someone, sex is a a big part of the relationship. You’re a young, innocent girl, so I get that you’re nervous.” He was in Serena’s class at boarding school, which would make him no more than two years older than Jenny, so I’m confused as to why he’s talking to her like a World War II veteran who’s seen more than she ever will. 

Acting like a cultured citizen of the world was like, his whole persona, which I just found incredibly annoying because he was literally 18 at the time, so no one’s buying it, sweetie. 

Lady Catherine

This is another character whose circumstances really confused me. My knowledge of British monarchy is based solely on The Crown, so forgive me if I’m wrong, but if Catherine were a “lady,” that would mean she’s married to a duke, which we’ve been told she is. So if that’s the case, why would they be summering in the Hamptons and living in a townhouse in Manhattan the rest of the time? Don’t they have royal duties in England to carry out? Don’t forget, this was pre-Meghan Markle. 

The second, and slightly bigger, issue with this lady is that she has a title of nobility and yet she’s paying an underage American kid to bang her against her dryer every few days. Two felonies for the price of one! How did this affair even work? Would she text him on her burner cell and be like, “Hey, when you’re done with algebra, can you come over?” Let us not forget, she was also f*cking her stepson. Safe to say, this woman needs therapy. 

Vanessa Abrams

I know she’s not technically considered random since she’s in every season, but she’s not part of the main six, so to me, she’s a random. Sorry (not really) to all of the Vanessa die-hards, but she plainly sucks. She’s one of those people who feels way too comfortable around people she just met and, maybe it’s just me because I still don’t feel comfortable around people I’ve known my whole life, but that’s not a likable quality. Second, I didn’t like how she was always at private events for schools she didn’t attend! Like, she was at literally every dance, party, and study session of the Constance girls and then at the Columbia alumni events. Seriously, she doesn’t even go here!

Ivy Dickens

Okay, to set the record straight, I hated the fake Charlie Rhodes (Ivy Dickens), but lived for the real Lola Rhodes. I know this isn’t a character flaw, but there was something about her voice that made it really hard to get on board with anything she was talking about, and her pretending to have a mental illness to explain her behavior wasn’t cool. 

I know she was an actress being paid by the real Lola Rhodes’ mom to pretend to be her (happens all the time), but couldn’t Ivy have just, like, gotten another acting job that didn’t involve fraud? I can’t imagine being so desperate for a job that I’d hear Carol’s pitch and think it was a good idea. 

Tripp Vanderbilt

Sorry, but Tripp and his waspy-ass name was a giant p*ssy. Like, literally everything about him was so pathetic and sad—especially when he crashed his car and put Serena in the driver’s seat to make it seem like it was her fault. Why do all of these people in positions of power take no more than two seconds to consider whether or not they want to commit a crime? I take more time deciding between two identical pale pink nail polishes than Tripp did to pin a car crash on his mistress. I also feel like Nate’s fancy politico cousin should have been 10 times hotter than Tripp, who looks like he calls his mom four times a day. I definitely wouldn’t have voted for him. 

Aaron Rose

Hands down Serena’s least likable boy toy. His skinny scarves and confusing haircut were enough for me to decide he sucks, but then he opened his mouth and…it didn’t help his cause. Like Damien with Jenny, Aaron acts like Serena is just a young and stupid child who doesn’t understand the complexities of adulthood, which is hilarious to me because Blake Lively was 22 playing a 17-year-old, but whatever. Anyway, even if that is the case, you are fully aware that she’s in high school, so stop acting like her being young is a flaw you have to get past! He should be more concerned with the statutory rape he’s committing. 

Also, his whole “I date multiple women at once” thing is just gross. I understand that you can’t expect monogamy after knowing each other for approximately five minutes, but Aaron, you don’t need to constantly remind her that you’re f*cking 10 other women at the moment. All in all, he was not hot enough to act that smug and condescending, and I was truly elated when Serena told us Dan that she left in him in Argentina. 

And there you have it, the worst random characters in Gossip Girl! Did I leave any out? Let me know who you hated the most in the comments! Until next time, Upper East Siders. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Images: Giphy (8)

Hey there Upper East Siders, long time, no gossip.

With coronavirus ruining all of my springtime plans, I’ve officially reached my limit on self-entertainment. A girl can only buy so many new bags and eat so much caviar in one day, especially when my private pilot refuses to fly me to France. People are just so rude these days. Anyway, in order to get myself through this depressing time, I’m turning to Manhattan’s elite because if anyone’s wreaking havoc during this quarantine, it’s going to be them. Being hot and wealthy is just so predictable. Still, what our favorites lack in originality, they make up for in scandal, and for that, I’m ever so thankful. 

While being quarantined has ruined my social life, my waistline, and my overall wellbeing, there has been one perk: I’ve had plenty of time to come out of retirement and dig into what Serena, Blair, Chuck, and Nate are up to, as well as a few of their wannabes. No, they’re not the top four, but honestly, I’m so bored, I even care what Ivy is doing atm. Desperate times, kiddies. 

So, how *are* the charmed students, families, and alumni of Constance and St. Jude’s faring? With endless money, time, and resources, you can bet they’re getting into all kinds of trouble and I, for one, couldn’t be happier. Buckle up, it’s going to be a dramatic reunion.

Blair Waldorf

Queen Bee has made it her sole mission to find the cure to coronavirus which will, obviously, land her a spot in Yale’s upcoming graduate class. Looks like our girl can’t take the hint that Yale blue doesn’t compliment her complexion. Still, something as simple as not being invited has never stopped her before. While utilizing Chuck’s world resources to pull from the best minds around, Blair is running around NYC with Dorota in tow, yelling at anyone who is outside while, you know, being outside herself. 

When B isn’t breathing down Nelly Yuki’s neck asking for cure updates or making Penelope go to her favorite restaurants and insist the chefs cook her favorite dishes (despite closing their doors), she’s not social distancing with Chuck, whenever he actually texts her back and leaves his speakeasy, that is. Some things never change.

Serena van der Woodsen

While Serena had the best intentions to stay home and not brush her hair, one glance from a hot guy walking past her apartment lobby and all thoughts of social distancing immediately went to sh*t. Talk about predictable, S. Afraid everyone would judge her (and rightfully so), she didn’t tell anyone where she was going or who she was going with, but from the looks of her Instagram, she’s somewhere sunny and acting all kinds of scandalous. I hope wherever Lonely Boy is hiding out, he doesn’t have wifi…

Dan Humphrey

Speaking of Lonely Boy… on one hand, Dan wants to do something to help society, he really does. But on the other hand, he’s also pretty busy judging other people for not doing enough to help. He’s left about a million messages on Serena’s phone and won’t stop telling Jenny off for leaving the loft (even though let’s be real, one text from S will have Lonely Boy running).

Despite knowing who started the entire coronavirus pandemic, Dan’s going to do nothing to save the world and will use this information to further move his writing career forward. Aren’t two books and a whole bunch of ruined relationships enough? Hopefully this time he’ll impress Serena enough. Just don’t ask what she was doing while she’s been away. Actually, do. I could use a good lover’s spat right about now.

Nate Archibald

Few things ruffle Nate’s pretty little feathers, and a quarantine definitely isn’t going to cause him any grief. His wake and bake schedule has been pretty uninterrupted, and it wasn’t until a few days ago that he learned he wasn’t actually supposed to go outside. His string of just-barely-legal hookups keep him busy, because let’s be real, he’s sleeping with the generation that DGAF about staying inside. At least it’s not a mom or a married woman this time, right Nate?

Chuck Bass

While bars and restaurants have closed down, Chuck’s speakeasy is absolutely flourishing in this time of quarantine. Illegally, of course. Nothing makes people thirsty quite like a pandemic. Charging $1,000 per head just to get in, his bar is the place where people who have no morals, self-control, or empathy go to get some of the most expensive lap dances in NYC. Wonder what B thinks of this endeavor? Keeping him busy and happy might be the only way to ensure he doesn’t dump her, gaslight her, or whore her out in a business deal. Again. Might be time to just cut the cord, B. Everyone knows that mother chucker isn’t best for you in the long-run.

Jenny Humphrey

After designing a line of chic hazmat suits, it seems Jenny is the pariah of the fashion industry. Didn’t you know? Only those born wealthy get to be insensitive, J. Blair has officially declared war, Jenny’s job at Waldorf Designs is on the brink, and she’s threatening to leave New York, again. The crazy part? Her looks are actually low-key cute, but since she’s already been blacklisted by Blair, there’s not much any of us can do. Poor Little J. 

Georgina Sparks

After about 1 day inside, Georgina was starting to feel too much like “a stay-at-home mom,” so she donned a blonde wig and is running around Manhattan impersonating Serena. From coughing on elderly people to buying out all of the vegan baby food in the city to sell at a premium and attempting to entrap Dan in some sort of sexual tryst at Chuck’s club, she’s taking no prisoners and leaving no chaotic stone unturned. I’m calling an SOS for anyone who gets in her way.

Luckily, Lonely Boy is most likely too busy being a pretentious prick to fall for her schemes. Still, I have a feeling that’s not going to stop G from trying. 

Rufus Humphrey

It should come as absolutely no shock that Rufus is spending the quarantine forcing waffles and stories of his touring days down everyone in the loft’s throats. It’s gotten to the point that Jenny, Dan, and Lily have all risked virus exposure to get away from him and his comfort carbs. Ugh. Brooklynites.

Vanessa Abrams

Who? Just kidding. While she might seem totally irrelevant, Vanessa is using this time to really work on herself and her filmmaking. Sure, she’s nowhere near the Upper East Side because everyone hates her, but maybe once society is running again and she wins some sort of indie film award, Dan will finally love her more than Serena. Good luck!

Eric van der Woodsen

All this extra time spent at home with Lily has given Eric ample opportunity to grow some more janky facial hair and frost his tips. What else is he doing? No one cares, but you can bet it involves a semi-attractive guy and lots of judgment from his mother.  

Lily van der Woodsen

After leaving her (ex?) husband/lover in the loft, Lily has returned to her apartment on the Upper East Side and is planning on hosting a coronavirus charity function to raise money for the cause. I mean, sure, getting a whole bunch of rich bitches together to drink champagne and potentially expose each other and the caterers isn’t ideal, but that hasn’t stopped her yet. (Amazingly, neither has the CDC.)

Each guest will be given a gift bag with Louis Vuitton embossed toilet paper, and Lily will spend the event lying to her guests saying that Serena is volunteering in Europe to help those in need. This is one party I’m absolutely RSVPing to. 

Ivy Dickens

Aw! Ivy! How we haven’t missed you. In an effort to “get back in with the gang,” Ivy has given herself over to Blair’s cause. She’s willingly been infected with coronavirus so the Waldorf-Bass team can study her. No one’s too worried about the long-term effects of just injecting her with a whole bunch of sh*t, and honestly, Ivy’s cool with it because this way she can at least feel something. 

Penelope Shafai

Even in the middle of a worldwide crisis, Penelope is too busy brown-nosing Blair to do anything of real value. Better luck next pandemic, P. 

Dorota Kishlovsky

Dorota’s “free time” is spent trailing after Blair, trying to avoid infecting her family even though she’s hasn’t even been remotely practicing social distancing, and drinking lots of vodka. Sure, she’s maybe developed a slight drinking problem while under quarantine (the fact that Blair isn’t letting her self-quarantine probably has something to do with it) but honestly, haven’t we all? 

Nelly Yuki

As much as Blair doesn’t want to utilize Nelly (and as much as Nelly doesn’t want to help Blair), the two have teamed up to cure coronavirus. Nelly is the head researcher on the Waldorf-Bass team, and while she’s doing it to like, help people, she’s also hoping this will finally make Dan notice her. For a guy who has a serious chip on his shoulder, he sure does have a lot of girls chasing after him. Still, with Blair and Nelly working together (and Chuck footing the bill), we might actually have a shot of beating this thing. Guess brains, money, and power really might save the world. Go get ’em, B.

Bart Bass

Is Bart really dead? Was he behind the global pandemic? Did he bring the virus over to get back at Lily for leaving him and is hoping to cause an economic crisis to then poach the stock market? That’s a secret I’ll never tell. Xoxo.

Images: Giphy (16)

Like many millennials with jobs, my beauty look is pretty consistent day-to-day, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have 82 tinted moisturizers, 41 mascaras, and about a million different facial mists. I like to mix it up, what can I say? If you, too, are an out-and-proud beauty junkie, welcome. It is my personal belief that the best time to buy beauty products is around Thanksgiving, because not only is everything cheap af, but everything is sold in sets. Yes. Please. Give me a million eyeshadows that have just slightly different undertones. Honestly, I love this holiday so much because we spend the whole day being grateful for all of the sh*t we have, but only until midnight when we’ll fight each other to the f*cking death at Target to get that 30% off KitchenAid mixer. #America, right? So if you fully embrace this holiday as a day of gluttony, scoop up these beauty deals before your friends do. 

Ulta

Obviously, I have to start with the DSW of beauty because it just has so much stuff to basically give away this holiday season. Because they have about a thousand different sales going on during Thanksgiving weekend, I’m just going to name the few brands I’d personally recommend. Let’s start with 25% off Macadamia Professional hair masques. If you’ve ever been in a drugstore, you’ve seen this brand’s hair products. I have been using the Deep Repair Masque since high school, and it’s never disappointed me. It’s meant for people with damaged hair, but as a bitch with proudly virgin hair (hold applause), I love it because it takes my hair to the next level in softness. If you think delayed gratification is stupid, you’ll love this masque because you’ll feel its effects immediately. 

Macadamia Professional Nourishing Repair Masque

Next is the BECCA Volcano Goddess Eyeshadow Palette, which is 40% off, aka it’s $27, aka it’s free. Honestly, I don’t really wear eyeshadow because I don’t know how to put it on without looking like a toddler in drag, but the colors in this palette are pretty wearable. So if you stan an eyeshadow moment, this palette is for you. 

BECCA Volcano Goddess Eyeshadow Palette

And lastly, Ulta is offering 25% off a Chi 1-inch Ceramic Hairstyling Iron. I don’t have the time or the skills to give myself Serena-van-der-Woodsen-circa-season-one waves, so I don’t even try. However, every now and then after sleeping on wet hair for no reason at all, I wake up with a really unfortunate situation on my head, and this little hero can fix it within 10 minutes. I don’t usually curl my whole head, but a few chunks of hair throughout gives me that tousled look that I’m really feeling these days. I know what you’re thinking: wtf are you talking about, this is a hair straightener? To you, I say the most natural-looking waves come from flat irons! Twist your hair around the iron and gently pull the iron down the twist. I’m telling you, it’s never failed me. 

Chi Original 1” Ceramic Hairstyling Iron

Glow Recipe

Not going to lie, I discovered Glow Recipe at Urban Outfitters, and have been obsessed ever since. The relatively new brand is offering 20% off every single product on their website, so if you haven’t already added a slew of skin care to your cart, you’re behind, girl. Anyway, if you are the kind of person who can be seduced into buying something simply because the packaging is irresistible, get ready to purchase literally every damn Glow Recipe product. I have the Watermelon Glow Sleeping Mask and am truly obsessed—mostly because it serves as a skin savior and decor on my dresser. Cute appearance aside, the mask itself is actually really good. It’s really moisturizing, but has a gel-like quality to it, so it doesn’t leave you feeling greasy and oily when you wake up. That ain’t cute. 

Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Sleeping Mask

Tatcha

This Japanese skin care brand is in pretty much every natural or ethical beauty store in the world and from November 28 through December, you can “play for a chance to get either 20% off your $100 purchase, 15% off your $75 purchase, or two free gifts with orders of $50 or more.” All of their products are cute and purple, but one of their products is truly better than the rest. I’m talking about the Luminous Dewy Skin Mist. Before you judge me for spending more than I’d like to admit on what you’d call water, hear me out. It’s made with botanical oils and humectants, which are responsible for the dew, and tbh it smells so damn good that I literally smile when I spray it, and I don’t even smile at puppies walking by.

Tatcha Luminous Dewy Skin Mist

Also, I recently learned that your moisturizer absorbs way better when your skin is moist (get over it) than when it’s bone dry. Think about it this way: your skin is like a sponge, and sponges don’t work until they’re damp, right? Another cult favorite from this brand is the Dewy Skin Cream, which I haven’t had the pleasure of trying because I am low on funds, but maybe I’ll hit the jackpot on their annoying Thanksgiving game and be able to afford it! 

Kevyn Aucoin

Get ready for the most niche Black Friday sale literally ever: Get 25% off your order and receive a free Exotique Diamond Eye Gloss in “Galaxy” when you spend $75 on November 29. Like, really? Only on November 29? Honestly, I’m sure I’ll get an email on November 30 that says, “We’re so nice and extending our sale!” The only reason I’m down for this annoyingly specific sale is because I’m so in love with my Neo Blush and feel like she needs friends. I’ve been dying to try the Sensual Skin Enhancer Concealer because it’s a really thick cream (as opposed to a solid, like most concealers are) and comes in a cute little pot. Also, I feel like if I have this, I could just dab it where I need it (because it’s thicc af and does its job) and not have to wear foundation or tinted moisturizer. 

Kevyn Aucoin Neo Blush

Stila

Stila is offering 35% off site-wide plus free shipping on all orders of $50 or more from November 29 through December 1 with the promo code BF35. I own one product from Stila that has truly defined my going out look to a T, and it is the Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner. Executing the perfect cat eye is hard, but Stila’s liner is actually really easy to use because it’s just a long tapered pen. So all you have to do is angle it as you draw, so the line gets thinner, and that’s pretty much it. Easy peazy. Anyway, Stila also has a pretty legit price point for a mid-level brand, so I fully support this sale. Another product I had and loved until I broke it by accident was the Aqua Glow Serum Foundation, because it was pretty full coverage but had the consistency of water, so it didn’t feel heavy or caked. 

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner

Drybar

I am more in love with my six-year-old Buttercup hair dryer than I am with the guy I’m seeing. Seriously. I have a lot of thick hair, so making sure it dries without going rogue is very important to me, and that’s why I have the Drybar one, the famous Josh Harry one, and, don’t judge me, the Dyson Supersonic. Drybar is shining down on thee and giving you 20% off all products, tools, and kits from November 21 through December 1. The Buttercup was the cheapest and oldest of the three I have, but it’s my OG and I use it every damn day. It weighs like, a pound, is pretty quiet, and does an excellent job. Generally, expensive hair dryers are better than drugstore ones because they use more power than they do heat, so they are less damaging to your hair. Cheaper hairdryers work in the opposite way, using more heat than watts, so you’re essentially frying your hair for longer. I also have the Drybar heat protectant, which smells so good that I leave it on my hands for as long as I can before the New York City subway system forces me to wash them. Luckily, the smell lingers in my hair for the entire day. By the way, Harry Josh is also having a Dermstore sale for 30% all of his products with the promo code DSGIFT from November 28 through December 2. His hair dryer is def cuter than the Buttercup, so if that matters to you, you can get it for a little less this holiday season!

Drybar Buttercup Blow-Dryer

L’Occitane

L’Occitane (pronounced “lox- ee- tahn”—you’re welcome) is giving us 20% off all full-size items with promo code CYBER from December 1 through 4, because they know no one is dragging their hungover asses to a store to buy their favorite hand cream. Speaking of which, I didn’t realize this brand sold anything besides hand cream until my grandmother gave me a beautifully packaged perfume (technically an eau de toilette) that smells so good that I spray it on my pillow before I go to sleep. It’s the Verbena scent, which is generally pretty clean with a hint of green tea. No complaints. 

L’Occitane Verbena Eau de Toilette

Images: Ulta; Glow Recipe; Tatcha; Kevyn Acoin; Stila; Drybar’ L’Occitane; Eco Warrior Princess / Unsplash

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I think I’m alone here, but does anyone else actually not hate winter? There’s something about bundling up and not leaving my apartment because it’s too damn cold throwing on a pair of over-the-knee boots that just fills my icy heart with joy. Don’t get me wrong, one of my favorite fashion-related pastimes is pushing my company’s dress code with aggressively short sundresses in the summertime, but cold-weather clothes, specifically coats, are my favorite thing to wear. Ever since that episode of Gossip Girl when Blair whisper-yelled that she’s not pregnant on the steps of the Met while making a serious case for patent leather trenches, I decided it’s time to toss the tragic North Face I got for my effing bat mitzvah and up my coat game STAT. 

If you, too, have a coat fetish (not judging) then you better believe I’m about to change your life in a minute. Now, before we go any further down this cozy and well-insulated rabbit hole, I would just like to say that having a gorgeous coat does not have to cost what you would spend on a new laptop. Another fun fact about me, aside from my addiction to outerwear, is that I have zero patience and refuse to wait five to seven business days for something I ordered online to make its way to my closet. Enter, Amazon. If you didn’t know, Amazon is a fashion hub. Shopbop even has its own storefront! So, if you’re in dire need of a new jacket, these are the best winter coats you can shop on Amazon for way less than you’d spend anywhere else.

Orolay Women’s Thickened Down Jacket, $140

Obviously, I have to start with the coat that put Amazon on fashion girls’ radar last winter. This coat was hands-down the midi-length leopard skirt of 2018, and after trying it on, I understand why. It’s really well-insulated and it’s obviously pretty chic, which is saying a lot since it’s a puffer. I am all for “beauty is pain,” and shivering my tits off in a coat that is cuter than it is functional, but after experiencing New York City winter, I am pro-puffer. Until I ordered this bad boy (in black), I used to associate thigh-length puffer coats with my middle-aged figure skating coach who, bless her Ukrainian heart, was not chic. Not anymore! There are two elements about the Orolay coat that make it stylish: the giant military-inspired pockets and the blunt shape that is longer in the back. Bottom line, this coat is really warm and will look cute with everything, whether you’re wearing skinny jeans and Red Wings or a shift dress and over-the-knee boots. 

Tanming Double-Breasted Plaid Wool Blend Peacoat, $49

I love a good menswear-inspired piece, and this shapeless peacoat is giving me all of that. It reminds me of something Don Draper would pair with one of those weird cashmere turtlenecks he used to wear towards the end of the show, but honestly, I’m into it. The only downside is that it’s probably not the warmest coat you’ll own, but good thing climate change is eliminating that issue, right? This may just be a me thing, but I never buy coats in weird colors because they obviously don’t really go with anything. This coat is great because the base color is a neutral, but it’s layered with a bunch of other colors, so you can really pair it with almost everything. Toss this over jeans and a T-shirt, and you’re good to go. If you want to feel a little Parisian, throw on a pair of oversized sunglasses and a pair of ballet flats, et voilà! Can you tell I’m 110% American? Cool, cool, cool.

Apparis Women’s Jahaira Faux Fur Coat, $400

Apparis has quickly become my go-to for coats, because even though they neither look nor feel like real fur, they’re still really luxurious. I have a cropped forest green version of this coat and sometimes I just lay it across my lap at work when my space heater blows its fuse and pet it. Do my coworkers think I’m a little nuts? Maybe, but I don’t care because this coat is that soft.

Now, if you have working eyesight, you’ve probably noticed that camo is everywhere these days. Apparis took the trend to the next level, though, and added the bright orange accents, which I am absolutely loving. The orange adds a unique element that regular camo is obviously lacking. It’s also neutral enough that you can wear it with pretty much anything. 

ECOWISH Faux Shearling Oversized Jacket, From $22

If you are a decent human being, you are anti-fur. Because I’m such a good person, I only wear faux fur that looks super duper fake because I don’t want my fake fur to look even a little bit real. Enter, this very fake-looking, Easter egg pink, oversize jacket. Obviously, this is not an everyday piece, but I’d wear it to a dinner with skinny white jeans, a gray oversized tee with a French tuck á la Tan France, and black booties. Basically, you can wear this with anything as long as the rest of the outfit is on the quieter side. 

J.O.A. Shearling Jacket, $163

For those of you who think I just contradicted myself re: fur, this coat specifically is made using both faux shearling and faux leather, so two claps for J.O.A. for going vegan on this beautiful piece of clothing that is currently in my shopping cart and will soon be on my person. What makes this coat look of-the-moment, as opposed to something you’d find in a bargain bin at Forever21, is that the exterior leather looks a bit worn and weathered. In my opinion, this would look amazing over a crisp white button down tucked into a pair of straight leg jeans and white sneakers. I know I’ll definitely be wearing it with my favorite red blanket that Zara calls a scarf. You say tomato…you know how it goes. 

S13 Emmy Midlength Down Puffer, From $109.20

We already know that I can’t resist a patent leather coat, so it’s no surprise that this S13 number really spoke to me. This coat is long enough that it covers your toosh, but short enough that you can still show off your legs in your Madewell High Risers, or whatever your skinny jean of choice may be. Because it’s black, the limit does not exist with regard to the things you can wear under this coat, but I love a shiny black coat with a cherry red scarf. There’s something very ‘90s about that color combo that I’m really feeling these days. If you want to drift away from the safety that is black, she also comes in silver and a very cool metallic navy. You really can’t lose with these options. Lastly, we need to address that if you buy a beautiful down-filled puffer for under $200, you’re basically stealing it.

Floerns Distressed Denim Jacket, $29.99

This recommendation is geared towards the Florida and California folks who don’t have to deal with the literal sh*t storm that are East Coast winters. It is my personal belief that the only acceptable denim jackets are oversize ones. The only thing you probably shouldn’t wear it with is, like, jeans, but everything else is fair game. Because it’s a little distressed, I’d wear something slightly more modern underneath so your outfit doesn’t look like a costume, ja feel?

Images: Amazon; Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.