I had used blindfolds before, and I’m an avid believer in the power of a good sex playlist, but I hadn’t really combined them both. So I grabbed a blindfold and headphones and headed to my hookup’s place.
When it comes to sex, the more senses being used, the better the experience. The sound of your partner’s moans in your ear, the smell of their signature perfume intertwined with their sweat, the view of their face contorting with pleasure, the taste of their lips, and — do we even need to talk about touch? Sensory play is what happens when you take a few of those senses and heighten them during sex. “Something as simple as someone breathing in your ear or gently tickling your armpit with a feather can enhance arousal,” Marla Renee Stewart, sexologist and sexpert for Lovers, tells Betches.
I had dabbled in sensory play here and there: satin blindfolds and vanilla ice cream had found their way into my bedroom. But because my then-sexual partner and I were equally as eager to tend to each other’s sexual fantasies, it made room for a lot more “sexual research” — AKA, we were down for anything. So, when I expressed to him that I wanted to create a few sensory sex experiences for him, he was more than willing to participate. My only rule? Let me take complete control.
After a few rounds bent over his kitchen counter and in his bed (what can I say, we had a lot of stamina), he let me tie the blindfold around him and place my headphones on his ears. While I like to play my music at a deafening volume, I let him take the lead on a volume that felt comfortable for him (but was still loud enough to block out his own sounds). My sex playlist is full of slow R&B, so I loaded that up and let his naked body relax.
Sound can play a huge role when it comes to successfully implementing sensory sex into your bedroom. If you’re into playing with sound, there are a lot of ways to tap into a more intimate environment during sex. And while I go the route of sex playlists, that’s not your only option. Stewart suggests humming softly during oral to create pleasurable vibrations, or moaning to arouse and guide your partner.
I started by kissing his lips and then moving my way down the length of his torso and eventually to his groin. Because I wanted this experience to be all about him, it was fun to watch the slight twitches in his lips as he got turned on. Then, I started giving him head, using cues from his reactions to guide me. When I thought he was really getting into it, I switched it up and straddled him. And because he couldn’t see me, it came as a surprise, and his audible and visible reactions were so authentically hot because of it.
I switched from riding to giving head over and over again, and while that’s something I had done before with him, the fact that he didn’t know when to expect each sensation definitely made it so much better. How do I know? I had never seen his body react that visibly before.
Stewart explains that the key to sensory play is to approach it one of two ways. “The first involves overwhelming the senses with a flood of pleasurable signals, leaving little time to process or interpret them,” Stewart says. “The second focuses on isolating one sense by limiting access to others, thereby amplifying a single sensation.”
And it definitely worked for my partner. I think it was the fact that he couldn’t focus on what he was seeing or hearing that gave him the freedom to just let his body respond naturally. He was grabbing the headboard, letting out the most guttural groans, and biting his lip — and I have to say, it is one of the sexiest things I have ever witnessed to this day. When I finally took the headphones and blindfold off to hand over control (acting like a Dom is fun for a bit, but I am a submissive girlie through and through), his eagerness to just plow me was… just wow.
When we debriefed after, he told me how vulnerable he felt during everything, and I think that’s just what made the sex so much better.
After the success of the earlier hookup, I wanted to tap into the other senses with him. Sight and sound were fun but I’ve always wanted to try temperature play. So, I texted my hookup to come over on my way back from running errands, and I made a quick pitstop at Dunkin’ to pick up a hot chocolate and some ice water.
When we got to my place, we didn’t waste much time. I put the cups on my bedside table, he laid down on my bed, and like clockwork, we got to kissing. Then, I reached for the ice water, grabbed an ice cube, and put it in my mouth. I started to give him head, running my tongue up and down his shaft with the ice cube still on it. The ice cube kept falling out of my mouth and onto his pelvis, and at first, I was nervous that it would be awkward. But as we all know, the messier and more human sex is, the hotter it gets. Every time the ice cube would fall out of my mouth, I’d rub it against his body or just scoop it up with my mouth. It was wet, it was cold, and — based on the way he was groaning — it was sexy AF. Once I felt like he was getting accustomed to the feeling, it was time to turn up the heat.
I fumbled with the hot chocolate for a moment (I’ve burned my tongue on Dunkin’ hot chocolate one too many times) and then took a big swig. While keeping the hot chocolate in my mouth wasn’t much of an option, I kept drinking until I felt my entire mouth warm up. Then, I started giving him head again. He first gasped with surprise (most likely at the change in sensation), and then that gasp turned into a deep moan. And once I got into a rhythm, I kept switching back and forth from ice cube to hot chocolate. Finally, he hoisted my face up and placed me on top of him, and we finished with me on top.
While I did have to take a shower immediately (hot chocolate + your vagina = a not-so-great Ph-balance), it was worth it. Feeling the different temperatures in my mouth felt pleasing to me, and of course, nothing beats watching a hot man crumble from euphoria when you’re responsible for it.
As a sex writer, I firmly believe that the key to a satisfying and orgasm-inducing sex life (aside from communication and lube, of course) is experimentation. I mean, how could you possibly know what it is that you like without trying everything first? But experimentation doesn’t always involve chains and whips — sometimes, it’s just about tapping into the sensations your body already creates.
Who knows? The best sex of your life might just be an ice cube — or hot chocolate — away.
