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While I was prepared for the big boobs and strange cravings, one surprising (and not-so-awful) side effect I had while pregnant was a constant, just-saw-Twilight-for-the-first-time-as-a-teen level of horniness. Being the hypochondriac that I am, though, I was somewhat freaked about the idea of getting it on with my fetal son inside of me. I mean, were there special pregnant sex positions that would keep my husband’s giant dong (brag!) from poking my babe’s eye out?
If you’re an anxious girlie like me, you’ll be happy to know it’s usually safe to have sex while ~with child.~ I say “usually” because there are certain pregnancy-related conditions that might put you on pelvic rest. If your doc *does* tell you to avoid sex, the in-house sexologist at Good Vibes, Carol Queen, PhD, suggests asking what, exactly, that means (because, ICYMI, sex doesn’t necessarily = penetration). No intercourse? No orgasm? No fantasizing about Damon Salvatore while you get rammed from behind and groan like a beached whale into your pregnancy pillow?
Once you get the go-ahead (after an awkward convo with the OB, ofc!), it’s time to figure out what positions your bod can handle. Spoiler: Your usual sex moves might not work as well when you have debilitating morning sickness and a giant bowling ball under your tee. That’s why Queen says having a chat with your SO is crucial. “Talk clearly with your partner about changes and enlist their support in workarounds when needed,” she suggests. “No fix for sexual issues is more important than being able to talk about them.”
Of course, not everyone’s libido will skyrocket when they get that positive pregnancy test. If the idea of being touched makes your skin absolutely crawl, don’t worry — that’s normal too. But if you *are* feeling a lil frisky, read on for the best pregnant sex positions that’ll make getting laid tolerable throughout all three trimesters and beyond.
The Best Pregnancy Sex Positions:
Also fondly called “the sexy starfish” by my best friend and mom of three, missionary sex — while not always a fan fave — is pretty common in the pregnancy community. That’s because, hi, you’ve earned the right to just lie there and take it like a spread-eagle sea creature.
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: Simply flop down on your back and let your partner do all the work. You’re growing a HUMAN. It’s the least they can do. If you’re not up for penetration, tribbing/scissoring works wonders in this posish as well. (P.S. There is a chance this one’ll make you uncomfortable since lying on your back can compress the vena cava. You’ll feel weird before doing any damage to your brewing baby, though, so just switch up your position if you feel less-than-orgasmic after a few minutes.)
Some folks might find that traditional missionary is uncomfortable and awkward during pregnancy (or all the time, tbh), in which case a sex wedge will become your clit’s new bestie. You can prop up your hips or torso to take some pressure off your cervix and help you avoid that “you’re smothering me with your heavy, hairy, sweating body” feeling.
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: Pop the wedge under your ass during sex, thus propping your pelvis up. Depending on your height(s), your partner might have to be on their knees to enter you, but that’s okay! You’ve gotten on your knees before! Now it’s their turn.
Hopping on top and riding your way to climax *is* allowed during pregnancy, even though there’s a good chance you’ll get winded from simply trying to climb onto your partner. If you make it up there, though, the position is nice because A) you don’t have to worry about your belly getting in the way and B) you can control the depth and speed of the movement/thrusts. Oh, and it’s one of the only positions that can provide enough friction to actually get off, but do with that what you will! <3
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: Stretch beforehand, take breaks for water, and use your partner’s hands as a kind of resistance bar so you don’t get a cramp from grinding back and forth. Oh, and lube will be your savior here. Opt for a water-based, glycerin-free option that won’t damage your sex toys or give you a yeast infection (which is common during pregnancy. Yay).
You don’t have to go outside or anything to have sex like a dog when pregnant, which is a plus, because you likely get drenched in sweat the second you’re exposed to the elements. Not only does doggy feel good and hide the bump (if you’re feeling self-conscious (which you shouldn’t because you’re a GD goddess (srsly!))), but it requires basically no work on your part. Win-win.
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: There aren’t many modifications needed when getting taken from behind whilst pregnant. Simply get on your hands and knees (or knees and elbows, or the ever-romantic face down/ass up) and hold on while your SO slips on in. Don’t be surprised if you need to ask for more shallow penetration than you’re used to, though. You might be extra sensitive, and deep thrusts can feel extra, well, deep, when pregnant. If you wind up needing some extra clit stim (which most of us do, FYI), this is also a *chef’s kiss* position for using a wearable vibrator.
Even the positions that require minimal effort can feel physically and mentally exhausting when your uterus is the size of a fucking watermelon. If that’s the case, curling up in the fetal position while your partner humps your back is, honestly, sometimes the best you can do. On the plus side, everyone’s hands are free to do things like stroke erogenous zones or scroll pregnancy forums for validation that the baby name you choose is cute and not overplayed.
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: Lie on your side while your partner uses their hands/genitals/body to get all up on you. It might help to put your top leg on top of your pregnancy pillow to keep your hips aligned since they’re likely already aching. Truthfully, the hardest part for you will be not PTFO while you lay in bed. Orgasms might be nice, but any chance to sleep when you’re constantly exhausted is almost too good to pass up.
If there’s one thing all pregnant people deserve, it’s to sit back while someone slurps ’em up like a goddamn ice cream cone. Honestly, receiving oral sex while pregnant is basically a requirement. The best part is you don’t even have to feel remotely guilty for not returning the favor because, duh, you’re a sacred vessel.
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: Lay back, spread your legs, and let your partner’s mouth do the rest. (Oh, and if, for some unknown reason, you’re feeling especially generous and want to go down on your significant other, sitting on a birthing ball while they stand in front of you will make things marginally less uncomfortable. Still not great! But not as bad as trying to hunch over them like a bridge troll while your ginormous belly bumps into their genitals + your wrists shake from holding your impressive body weight up + you want to cry because hormones and hemorrhoids are taking over your life + things will never be the same.)
If intercourse/being touched by another human is off the table medically or just because that sounds like one of the deeper circles of hell, that doesn’t mean you can’t still get yours. Flicking your own bean is always encouraged, especially when you’re pregnant and can’t enjoy simple pleasures of life like a
bottle glass of wine or some soft cheese.
How to do it when you’re pregnant AF: Mutual masturbation — like where you and your partner lay side-by-side and go to town on yourselves — is a low-lift way to connect and still get the bennies of an orgasm. Of course, that’s not to say you have to invite your SO into the mix. Feel free to lower the lights, barricade the door, and grab your fave battery-operated device. Your vag deserves a little lovin’ considering what it’s about to go through…