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All The Chaotic Shit We're Putting On Our 2024 Bingo Card

We all can’t deny that a LOT of crazy shit happened in 2023. Scandoval? Barbenheimer? Gladis The Orca and her Army? Prince Harry writing an entire book about his frozen todger? It was a year for the books when it came to pop culture moments, and TBH, I expect 2024 to be no different. That’s why we’re coming up with a 2024 BINGO card with pop culture predictions to mentally prepare for WTF is prob gonna come out of this year.

Will Gypsy Rose Blanchard be on DWTS? Will Timothée Chalamet model in a Skims ad campaign?? Will George Santos become an Uber driver? Will Travis Kelce write a children’s book called “Give A Squirrel A Piece Of Bread”? None of it is out of the realm of possibility!!!

My favorite prediction might be Ariana Grande being in an alleged cheating scandal with the actor who plays Squidward in the SpongeBob Squarepants Broadway musical. (IT’S A JOKE, OKAY??!) Ever since it was revealed that Ariana was dating SpongeBob aka Ethan Slater, I have been obsessed with their love story. Ariana and her ex-husband Dalton Gomez split in January 2023, and just two months later, sources told Daily Mail she and SpongeBob were “all over each other” at an Oscars party. The two met while filming Wicked — Ariana is playing Glinda while SpongeBob is Boq — but it wasn’t revealed Ariana and Dalton were broken up until JULY. That same month, it was confirmed she was dating SpongeBob along with a bombshell that he and his wife Lily Jay also separated. WHAT??!! There were a bunch of reports that Lily was “blindsided” by the news and it got a lil messy.. especially since the two share a baby together. So is it THATTTT crazy that I think Squidward will enter the picture? I don’t think so!

Another fave predictions is Harry Styles growing a beard. I still remember the day I saw “HARRY STYLES IS BALD” on headlines everywhere after it was revealed our bb boy shaved his fucking head. Why would he do that??? The man cannot be stopped, so mark my words, we will see him with some “Music for a Sushi Restaurant” music video-level facial hair. Ew.

But anyway, I could talk about these all day. For now, check out our official 2024 BINGO board so we, together, can prepare for whatever shitshow the new year brings!

BINGO-CARD-FEED

Katie Corvino
Katie Corvino
Katie Corvino (she/her) is the VP of Editorial at Betches. She first gained recognition after wearing a thong on her head at Coachella in the name of fashion. She's also known very well in the medical space as her therapist's favorite patient. If you are reading this, Leslie, she is fine. Her crippling anxiety is gone. She is cured and totally OK.