Real World Roundup: Bieber and Blunts, A Love Story

While we were on vacay a car of papz got into a car accident and died while trying to take pics of Justin Bieber. I mean, can you imagine how awkward their eulogy must have been? Even though Rupert Murdoch and about 20 million pimple faced tweens might disagree, but you couldn't possibly say they died for a good cause. I mean, they “were doing their job” but like, get a new job, bro. To all you people, cough Perez, who say Justin KILLED these people, you need a new hobby, it's called getting over it. That reminds me of that instagram parody video, you know the part when he's trying to take pics of a duck… Read Article>>

Justin Bieber happens to also enjoy the company of our BFF the blunt. Whoop dee fucking doo. Apparently this also isn't Justin's fault, it's his rapper bestie Lil Twist's, you know, because he's a bad influence. Because Justin would NEVER would have smoked a blunt if it weren't for Lil-Lil Wayne. You're all correct, he would have smoked vape. Read Article>>

Justin Bieber gets a tattoo of a Cherokee or some shit. What the fuck were you thinking Justin, Native Americans are like so not trendy right now. It's all about mustaches and the CIA. Don't you know anything? Maybe this is Bieb's attempt to make Native Americans a thing. Hmmm, let me take the next 3 hours to google some pics of Pocahontas. Read Article>>

It's bad enough that Justin killed a dude and smoked pot the other day, but it's even worse that he doesn't “SEEM” to care about it. The fucking horror. Everyone needs to chill out and take a hit. Read Article>>

In the only other news, Brad Pitt signed up for the Chinese version of Twitter. And that's a wrap. Read Article>>


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