I've kind of evolved into a UGH and have lost my edge when it comes to these scenarios, so I hope you can help me here. My boyfriend has a friend from work who is a woman (older than him with kids but still looks and acts our age). She hangs out with us occasionally and always tries to get on my good side by complimenting me and telling me I'm way better looking than he is. However, it's all a ruse since she seems to be really into him. She's not a threat to our relationship, but the constant writing on his FB wall (including the latest one that bothered me – suggesting they go for a road trip) is disrespectful to me. My boyfriend does not care about her and finds her annoying but doesn't care enough to tell her to back off. How should I respond next time she writes something obnoxious on his wall and put her in her place?
Dear Betch in Cougartown,
Thank fucking God, a change of pace from my usual “why doesn’t he like me” emails. You might be an UGH but admitting it is the first step. The second step is actually leaving the clutches of your boyfriend, so there, I’ve given you your New Year’s resolution.
Girls who are TGF are really annoying, even more so when they’re trying to get fucked by your bf. It would be one thing if this lady wanted to grab coffee with your bf every now and again to get work advice or some shit (in which case I’d say you need to chill out), but no betch would ever propose a road trip with another betch’s bf. Unless I mean you were all friends and went in a giant group but you get what I mean.
Anyway, as the gf you have every right to be annoyed. As I see it you have a couple of options (pick one, not a combo):
1. Be the icy betch: AKA your usual self (I hope), just ignore everything she posts. The ultimate way to show you DGAF, etc. etc. you know the drill.
2. Be the passive aggressive betch: Put her on notice that you’re aware of the shit she’s trying to pull by liking every single thing she posts on your BF’s wall. Even comment with fake-nice shit like “OMG! Road trip! What a great idea! I’ll start planning right away, I’ve heard [insert warm location] is great this time of year!” The potential for backfire is high and she might think you’re friends for real, so only do it if you’re highly skilled in the art of passive aggression.
3. Be the betch that gets her bf involved: In all honesty you could have him talk to her and be like “cut it out, I have a gf.” If she doesn’t take the hint she’s obv delusional, and there’s no use reasoning with delusional people, and you can both move on with your lives.
4. Be the betch-bf ignoring super duo: I have a feeling this is your best bet. It seems like she’s posting on your bf’s wall 1) to get a reaction from him and 2) to get a rise out of you since she chose a public forum. If you both refuse to acknowledge her behavior (not even one like!) she’ll prob start seeking attention elsewhere.
Whatever you do, DON’T BE the psycho protective betch: If you try to call her out on her shit it would prob just blow up in your face and make you look crazy possessive. There’s no way to say “Don’t write on my bf’s wall because it’s disrespectful” and still come out looking totally well-adjusted.
Finally, stop hanging out with her and discourage your bf from seeing her outside of work, too. At some point if she stops getting encouragement she will (hopefully) set her sights on greener, younger pastures. In the off-chance you guys live in Atlanta, just take her to Johnny’s on a Thursday and leave her there.
At least she thinks you’re really pretty,
Got a question only the Betches will understand? Email DearBetch@betcheslovethis.com and if your question doesn't fucking suck you'll probably get a response.