The first time I heard about unschooling, I thought I was reading a satire article. My son was in bed, I had a bunch of snacks around me, and I had fallen down an education research rabbit hole because my kid is 1.5, which means it’s time we start applying to colleges. Anyway, as I was looking up different schools (and crying over tuition prices for voluntary Pre-K), I learned of a new concept floating around out there, one that schools kids by, well, not schooling them at all?
Welcome to the newest crunchy trend of unschooling, folks, where parents let their kids decide what they want to learn, whenever they feel like it. As in, no curriculum, no lesson plans, just pure “follow your heart” energy.
If you’re thinking, “Wait, doesn’t that sound like an actual disaster waiting to happen?” Congratulations, you’re not alone. Because let’s be real, left to their own devices, most kids would “learn” by binging TikToks and eating pizza rolls (the life, though, amiright?). And yet! There’s a whole movement of parents who genuinely believe that letting their kids skip out on structured education is the best way to raise little geniuses who’ll somehow manage to learn algebra between snack breaks and Fortnite sessions.
While traditional schooling may not be perfect (hello, endless standardized tests), at least it forces kids to acquire basic skills they’re going to need to function in the real world. “Teachers are an incredible resource, and their expertise is something we should be utilizing and collaborating with to make sure children are getting the best quality of support they can,” says Bailey Carr, M.ED, BCBA, LABA, a board-certified behavior analyst who collaborates heavily with education and childhood learning.
But hey, maybe I’m just a product of my boring old public school education where we weren’t just waiting for ~the universe~ to teach us how to do proportions. Either way, let’s dive into the mind-boggling world of unschooling, and figure out if this whole thing is a brilliant new approach — or, like I suspect, a total fucking mess.
What Is Unschooling?
Okay, so the concept of unschooling might sound a little (or a lot) wOoWoO, and that’s cause it kinda is. Sorry to any unschoolers out there, but like, it’s true.
Basically, unschooling is an educational philosophy that ditches traditional schooling altogether — no set curriculum, no formal classes, no rigid lesson plans. Instead, it’s all about child-led learning, where kids follow their own interests and passions at their own pace, in their own way. It’s pretty much the ultimate DIY education: parents serve more as facilitators than teachers, and the “classroom” is wherever the kid wants it to be — whether that’s the backyard, the kitchen, or a YouTube rabbit hole on how to beat the next level of Minecraft.
Unschoolers believe that children naturally learn what they need through real-life experiences, curiosity, and play, without the structure imposed by any sort of formal schooling system. And while it seems totally absurd, it’s technically a subset of homeschooling, which means, yes, it’s legal in the U.S. (but each state has different regulations regarding how parents track the education process). America!
In Defense of The Unschooling Concept
While I’d love to just sit here and rip the concept apart (and I will! Don’t worry!), let’s give unschooling some credit. Sure, it sounds like something out of a Coachella fever dream, but there are a few redeeming qualities. Kind of.
For one, it lets kids dive deep into their passions. Instead of being force-fed trigonometry they’ll never use, they get to spend their days drawing anime, building LEGO masterpieces, or obsessively researching conspiracy theories. Is it a little out there? Maybe. But there’s something sort of refreshing about not making kids sit through hours of memorizing the periodic table, ya feel?
Additionally, unschooling parents argue that their kids are learning how to think critically and solve problems creatively — not just cramming for a test, which, okay, sounds nice in theory. I still have PTSD from that one time I forgot to study for my econ final in 11th grade.
Now, you might be thinking, “Isn’t this kind of like Montessori?” And yeah, there are similarities. They both focus on child-led learning and emphasize hands-on experiences. But here’s the difference: Montessori still has structure. It’s child-centered, but there are teachers, lesson plans, and a carefully designed environment guiding the process. Unschooling? It’s a free-for-all. The kid sets the agenda, and if they decide their life’s calling is making IG reels for 12 hours straight, well, that’s just their curriculum.
And as for college, yes, unschooled kids can still get in. The process might look a little different — hello, portfolios of all the new-age stuff they’ve done instead of a GPA — but it’s not unheard of. Many unschoolers take community college classes, get their GED, or just wow admissions boards with their unique projects and life experiences. No, they might not be acing the SATs, but they could still end up at a decent school if they’ve got the drive and creativity.
While it might be the most far-fetched concept (outside of, like, not vaccinating — but I feel there’s likely some overlap), there’s a tiny part of me that gets the appeal of unschooling. Who knows? Maybe these kids will grow up to be the next Steve Jobs… or at least the next YouTube star. Both are legit career paths now, right?
Why Most People Think Unschooling Is Bullshit
Let’s be real — while the concept of letting kids “learn what they want” sounds cute in theory, it’s also the perfect recipe for raising a generation of kids who can’t read a map, do basic math, or, god forbid, understand how taxes work (which, granted, still has me a little miffed).
The idea that children are magically going to teach themselves algebra while scrolling or trying to become an influencer? Laughable. Like, no offense, but if I had the choice to learn about photosynthesis or just chill with my Tamagotchi all day, guess which one I’m choosing?
And that’s the big issue with unschooling: it assumes that kids are going to wake up one day, look away from their screens, and think, “Wow, you know what I really want to dive into today? Geometry.”
“I don’t really understand how a child would know what to learn,” Nicole Chorney (name has been changed), an elementary school teacher with over a decade of experience, tells Betches. “In school, we let them choose topics they like to grab their attention and keep them engaged. If they’re not in a school setting, though, it’s going to be significantly harder to learn how to be a functioning member of society. Being ready for college or life after graduation is taught in school — even in elementary now — and if they’re just letting the child go through their instincts, how will children ever learn how to do the hard stuff?”
Sure, you could say “no screens during school time,” but A.) that kindaaaa goes against the philosophy and B.) that still doesn’t mean they’re going to want to learn a variety of topics to make them somewhat well-rounded humans.
Also, um, let’s talk about social skills for a sec. Unschooling means your kid likely isn’t interacting with other kids on a regular basis. How is that going to help when they finally have to face the horror of a group project or — *gasp* — hold down a job? “I’m incredibly supportive of social and emotional learning, including validation and identification of emotions,” Carr says, “but having a child (whose brain is still developing) be in charge of their days, activities, etc., is not only irresponsible but doing this child as a whole a disservice for the future.”
Last little note: as a parent, this sounds like hell. My son goes to daycare and yet I still feel like his assistant. If it was on me to not only homeschool him but do it in a way where he’s, essentially, the boss, there’s an 85% chance I’d pull a Gone Girl and just fucking leave.
So yeah, while it might seem like a free-spirited, progressive way to raise a child, most people are still thinking, “Is this really how we want to prepare the next generation for adult life?” Probably not.
The Verdict
And because I’m someone who loves to win an argument (who, me?), I asked our girl Carr if I’m jaded from a lifetime of Scantrons or if unschooling really is the worst idea ever. Spoiler: I was right. Obvi.
“The concept of unschooling goes against all the substantial data that is out there about child development,” Carr says. “Children respond positively to structure, expectations, and boundaries, as education systems are some of their early foundations for these concepts that carry them into adulthood. Unschooling takes all of these research-supported concepts and essentially throws them out the window, which can result in some serious negative consequences down the road for mental, social, and emotional development.”
While I’m sure there are some kids out there who could benefit from this hippy-dippy method, for the most part, it seems to be a terrible, low-key selfish idea. Being a parent means doing the tough stuff for your children, even if that’s helping them suffer through a challenging class or memorize a bunch of Spanish verbs. “Boundaries, expectations, and having to teach the emotional regulation around it is HARD,” Carr says. “But that’s part of parenting — unschooling skips that critical step.”
Ultimately the idea of letting kids just figure it all out on their own may sound appealing to the most laissez-faire of parents, but it’s not exactly the best game plan for raising a functional adult. If you’re hoping for the next tech mogul or Grey Sloan Memorial surgeon, you might want to keep those geometry lessons on the table. Told ya so.
