Babygirl has sparked a lot of conversation about people’s sexual likes and dislikes. A lot of people on the internet discovered they love to be called a “good girl”… and some are discovering the exact opposite. While there is a wide spectrum of kinky behavior going on in Babygirl, one of the overarching themes seems to be a humiliation kink.
Nicole Kidman’s character Romy finds herself drawn to Harris Dickinson’s character Samuel mostly because he seems to know how to see through her bullshit and put her in her place (consensually, of course). And while some of the sexual acts are a little more nuanced on the kinky spectrum (like him sending her a glass of milk to drink in public), others are pretty straightforward (bringing her to a dingy motel and having her eat candy out of his hand like a dog). And if you found yourself perking up at this scene and others where Romy is forced to be vulnerable and kinda ridiculed, odds are you might be into humiliation. Not sure? Let’s break it down.
What Is A Humiliation Kink?
A humiliation kink typically means you sexually enjoy being demeaned, degraded, or condescended to (in a consensual and controlled setting!!), according to licensed therapist Jillian Amodio. But again, like like many things regarding sex, this is a spectrum — what feels like a harmless tease to one person might be an intense role-play scenario for another.
For some, it’s about verbal insults that challenge their ego or make them feel small (in a good way!). If you’ve ever wanted to be called a “dirty slut” in bed, you know exactly what this is like. For others, it’s about embracing vulnerability while their partner takes on a dominant persona. Amodio emphasizes that communication and consent are non-negotiable here.
“Kinks can shift, change, evolve, and emerge over time, so frequent check-ins help ensure a beneficial, consensual, and enjoyable experience,” she says.
Why Might Someone Be Into Sexual Humiliation?
So, why does being called “pathetic” in the bedroom hit differently than in, say, a performance review? Amodio says it all boils down to psychology. For some, a humiliation kink offers a way to release control and embrace vulnerability in a safe, consensual space. If you’re in a high-powered, dominant role — like the CEO of a company — this can be especially appealing.
“It allows them to tap into another side of their existence in a way that feels safe and exciting,” she says.
On the flip side, some people might find empowerment in pushing boundaries through role-play that challenges societal norms. Others just really enjoy the heightened emotional and physical connection that comes from trusting a partner to explore a dynamic like this.
Amodio also says that for others, these desires could be linked to past experiences or trauma. While not all kinks have traumatic roots, understanding where they come from can help you and your partner make sure you’re exploring these desires in a way that’s emotionally safe.
How Do I Tell My Partner I Want To Be Humiliated In The Bedroom?
If we learned anything from Babygirl, it’s that sometimes, even if you really love and trust your partner, it can be hard to muster up the courage to tell them what you like in bed. Bringing up a kink — especially one as vulnerable as this — can feel scary AF. But Amodio says that the key is creating a safe, judgment-free space for conversation.
Start off with positivity. I know that sounds hippy-dippy but stay with me here. Saying something like, “I really value the connection we share and feel safe enough to talk about something that’s been on my mind.” Obviously, you can edit that so that it feels more natural to have conversations you’d have with your partner. From there, explain your desires in a way that emphasizes mutual exploration.
“Timing and tone are essential,” Amodio says. Pick a moment when you’re both relaxed and open, and share your thoughts without pressure. Be ready to discuss boundaries, answer questions, and take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.
“Respect each other’s boundaries and proceed slowly through a journey of self-discovery that feels safe and accessible to all parties,” Amodio says. And remember, this is a conversation you can revisit as you both navigate what works best. Because, at the end of the day, consent and communication are the ultimate turn-ons.
