The Earth Is Heating Up & So Are You: Weekend Horoscopes February 7-9

Here we are, barreling into February full blast. J.Lo and Shakira won the Super Bowl, the Oscars are this weekend, and I still don’t know if we’re supposed to want the groundhog to see his shadow or not, and also, is six more weeks of winter the good outcome or the bad one? And why are we letting a rodent predict the seasons? While we’re at it, why is this month so short and yet it lasts forever? Why do we have leap years? Why is the first ‘r’ silent? I have so many questions about February. And the summer months are still so far off. Send help.

The most important question, though, is at least one we can answer: what do the planets have in store for us this weekend? Will we conquer our fears of group workout classes? Will I overcome my addiction to Taco Bell? How many friends can I alienate when I try to take all of us hiking? Only the universe can know!


The name of the game is relationships, Aquarius. Seriously though, with the moon in Leo this weekend, you’ll want to turn your attention to your partner in crime and focus on their wants/needs/weird sex position desires on Saturday. Sunday is all about you though, so try to get a leg up on a nice Epsom salt bath and wine time, k?


Check in on yourself, Pisces. It’s a good weekend for a two-hour massage and ignoring all your calls/texts/dating app messages. It’s also a great weekend to jump start that workout routine you’ve been putting off. We get it; SoulCycle sucks, but feeling good as hell when those endorphins are pumping certainly will not.


The full moon means love, romance, and intimacy are on deck this weekend for you, Aries. Instead of sitting at home with your SO, get out on the town on Friday or Saturday night and enjoy each other’s company (you know, like you pretended to on your very first date). Come Sunday, you may feel a little torn between caring about yourself and checking in on some family matters. Just try not to let yourself get as irritated as usual and it’ll be smooth sailing.


It’s all about home and fam this weekend, Taurus. On Friday night you should probably plan to come home, clean up the pile of clothes on your floor, pour yourself a very large glass of wine as a reward, then call your grandmother because she misses you. Saturday, you can tackle trying to paint that dresser because, like, if Joanna Gaines can do it, so can you. Once you give up on that, try to fold your shirts like Marie Kondo showed you, give up, and finish that bottle of wine you opened on Friday.


Nature is made for absorbing this weekend, Gemini. Hop in the car and drive somewhere you can hike and camp, or at least pretend to. After you commune with the natural world, it’s all about human communication late Saturday and early Sunday, so connect with some bros on your favorite dating app, write a great cover letter for when you finally quit your job, or call your bestie and have a long, annoying conversation.


Try not to blow all your money in one shopping trip, Cancer. This weekend is a good time to focus on your finances, whether that means your v sad checking account or your joint savings with your SO. If you feel the need to spend money either Saturday or Sunday, try to invest in things you’ll have for a long time or things that will be fashionable for quite a while. A little black dress will always be in; a reptile skin blouse will not.


The moon is in your sign, Leo, which means you have all the good vibes to go around. Friday night should be spent out, since your cheerful attitude is more contagious than the flu (seriously people, get your flu shots. It’s not too late). Saturday and Sunday, too, should equally be enjoyed amongst friends and/or family, since your amazing mood probably won’t last through Monday.


Take time to be with yourself this weekend, Virgo. After work on Friday, head home, order some truly bad (but so good!) comfort food, slap on your sweats, and watch some horrible reality TV (90 Day Fiancé, My 600-Pound Life, and/or any Housewives franchise will do). Saturday and Sunday may bring some really f*cking weird dreams, so try not to read too much into them.


It’s all about the frieeeeendship this weekend, Libra. Grab your SO and your best buds and host dinner and drinks at your house on Friday night. Saturday is great for getting outdoors with the same tribe. Disagreements between your beau and your besties are possible, but as long as you distract them with alcohol, everything should dissipate quickly.


Work will follow you home this weekend, Scorpio. It’s fine to dedicate a few hours to a project, but try to focus on yourself and your family. I promise work can wait for Monday and nothing will (probably) explode or burn down if you don’t answer emails into Sunday.


Time for adventure, Sagittarius. Saturday is a great opportunity to either do something you normally avoid (like hiking) or something totally new (also hiking) with friends. Even if you totally suck at it, doing something with good company is never a total bust, right? Sunday is prime for brunch and seeing a movie with your partner since you can’t argue as much in a dark theater.


Get f*cking wild this weekend, Capricorn—especially when it comes to the sexy times. You’re usually kind of reserved, and that’s totally fine, but this weekend you may feel a bit more push to try something a little outside your comfort zone. Maybe you’ll dive into tantric or break out some fuzzy handcuffs. Just try not to scare your partner too much. If you’re single, use your newfound sexy edge to schedule all the Ship dates you can. May as well knock that sh*t out, right?

Images: Kinga Cichewicz / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson