‘Tis the damn season for exes to shamelessly crawl back into your life. You’ve moved away, you’re downloading and deleting Hinge every other week, and you’ve even realized orgasms can be possible without a vibrator. Yet the moment you return to your parents’ home for the holidays, it’s like an alarm goes off in town, and every shitty ex suddenly slides into your DMs.
It’s a time for being grateful, and the main thing you’re grateful for is that you no longer have to put up with their bullshit. But they just want to catch up, to ask how the family is doing, to reminisce on times that really don’t look that good in hindsight.
Not only does Thanksgiving come with comments on your weight, questions about your dating life, and listening to your grandfather’s borderline racist tirade, but it also includes the classic return of the shitty exes, with a conversation like this: