It goes without saying that Thanksgiving will be very different this year. Even if you’re doing your Thanksgiving dinner over Zoom, some less-than-fun elements about this family and food-oriented holiday will likely remain the same. You’ll probably still get asked why you’re single, and chances are high you’ll hear diet talk, which is everywhere, but particularly prevalent when a group of people are eating together. Your aunt Karmen might talk about the latest diet she’s on, while your cousin Lacey might fiddle with the food on her plate and exclaim how she’s eaten way too much. It feels almost inevitable that someone will mention how their weight changed during quarantine.
Whichever way you put it, there’s bound to be somebody talking about food restriction or exercise in relation to their desire to lose weight. This can be triggering for people with eating disorders, or anyone really who wants to enjoy their meal in peace without hearing how many calories are in their turkey stuffing. Besides, there will be enough talk about COVID-19 and the election—can’t we all just agree on keeping this topic off the table this year? Well, it’s not so easy to get rid of diet talk from our family and friends. But, with the help of some experts, there are ways of trying to avoid it altogether and quick responses to stop diet talk in its tracks. Read on for their valuable tips.
1. Skip Thanksgiving Altogether
This is an obvious option to entertain since many people are skipping holiday gatherings because of COVID-19 anyway. But, if you’re feeling brave, and want to tell your family that you’re forgoing the meal in order to take care of your mental health, then power to you! Of course, this is something you should speak about with your therapist or a treatment team provider. “There are people with eating disorders who would love this excuse to be an ‘out’ from Thanksgiving and restrict, which is not at all what we want,” Christy Harrison, the author of Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating, says.
And if you hear people calorie counting or food policing, you can always choose to walk away, she adds.
2. Set Boundaries
Tell your family ahead of time that hearing diet talk is triggering for you and request that it not be spoken about while you’re present. “Let’s enjoy our food this year. Can we make Thanksgiving a guilt-free zone experience?” suggests Caroline Dooner, author of The F*ck It Diet. But if that doesn’t work out, there’s plan B.
According to Harrison, you’re going to need to provide consequences if your boundaries are violated. “If they keep doing it—whether they’re oblivious or don’t realize what they’re doing is diet talk—you might want to say that you’re going to leave the conversation or go for a walk.”
3. Redirect The Conversation
Change the subject by explaining how diet talk is triggering for you or talk about something else entirely, like how thankful you are for your health this year.
“One of the best quotes I often use is, ‘I don’t discuss politics, religion or one’s diet,” Jay Cowin, NNCP, RNT, RNC, CHN, CSNA, says. Your Fat Friend suggests other ways to intervene, like saying, “Can we talk about something else?” or “I’ve been working really hard at accepting my body, and this feels like a setback. Let’s talk about something else.” You can shift the focus by talking about the food and what you’re grateful for. Ask your host which spices were used in your favorite dish, or verbally acknowledge your gratitude for health and family during a tough year.
Harrison says that if you’re comfortable, you can even start a discussion about how diet talk and diet culture are harmful to people. “It’s helpful to lead with your own experience: Here’s what I’m working on. Here’s what I need. Not making them feel policed or shamed on how they’re relating to food and their bodies.”
4. Find A Support System
Establish a support system ahead of time. Tell a friend or close family member who knows you struggle with diet talk and can help you redirect the conversation or be on call if you need them. And if you don’t have someone to lean on, there are people out there who have your back. “For those who may need a little extra support this Thanksgiving, NEDA offers a click-to-chat Helpline on Thanksgiving Day from 10am-6pm. Our helpline volunteers are trained to help you find the information and support you are looking for,” Chelsea Kronengold, the communications manager of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) says.
You may not be able to control what people talk about on Thanksgiving, but at least you have control over how you respond or react. And the best part is, you still have a few more days to prepare and tell your support system to stand by in case you need backup.
Images: Pond Saksit / Shutterstock
As a political science student who wants to write about politics for a career, Thanksgiving (and any family event) is a minefield for me. Not only do I have to tell my family (again) that I am still single, but conversations about whether I have a job plan for after I graduate automatically link to politics and vice versa.
Like it is for many people, talking about politics with relatives is really hard for me. Some of my family members voted for Trump or didn’t vote at all, and as a very vocal liberal, this makes for some… difficult conversations. As easy as it will be this year to get in a drunk screaming match over Zoom with your relatives or to just hit “end call,” a big part of practicing allyship is talking about important issues with people who disagree with you. That said, here are some tips for staying chill when politics comes up over the holidays.
Do: Listen To Them Speak
If there’s one thing that everyone hates, it’s being interrupted and feeling ignored. Many Trump supporters tend to say that they like Trump because he understands that, and they think that he gives them a voice. That said, interrupting your relatives and calling them stupid (no matter how badly you want to) will not lead to any sort of calm or productive conversation.
Listening to them also gives you the chance to collect your thoughts and form an appropriate response. I’ve found that the people in my life who vote for Republicans or support Trump tend to either say that they like him because he is “real” or they grasp at the same four or five reasons for supporting him. When you actually pay attention during these conversations, you’re in a better position to point out to the other person why they’re wrong or misinformed.
Don’t: Talk Down To Them
“Are you f*cking stupid?” is kind of my go-to catchphrase, so this is a hard one for me. However, using incendiary language puts you in the position to both stoop to their level and makes it so that they’re way less willing to communicate with you. Some alternatives to asking this question are: “I read something different about that, where did you get that information?” or “I could see why you would interpret x that way; however, here’s what it really means.”
Do: Debate Belief Systems, Not Individuals
When someone starts using language or saying things that you’re uncomfortable with, it’s essential to stand up for yourself and explain why they’re in the wrong. What I’ve found, though, is that you very rarely will have a productive conversation after calling someone racist/xenophobic/sexist/etc.
You’re more likely to actually make progress when you question the belief and say something like, “What you just said is actually founded in a racist belief and it really upsets me to hear you say that.” While your relatives are still going to be super defensive about that, it’s even more likely that they’ll be open to a conversation if you go this route.
Don’t: Start Yelling Back At Them
I was an overnight camp counselor for three years, and one thing I quickly realized (but still haven’t totally mastered) was that my campers were significantly more likely to listen to me if I spoke quietly than when I was screaming at them to just get the f*ck in bed.
As someone who is sometimes known for having a ~bit of a temper~ and also cries when I’m mad, this applies to almost every argument I’ve ever been in. There’s nothing worse than being called crazy or overdramatic, and even if you’re rightfully upset, this is a common tactic that (mostly male) older relatives love to resort to.
When you sense that tensions are rising and you’re trying to avoid bringing the energy to a 12/10, just start talking quieter and more slowly. I know that I just said to not talk down to them, but I literally love explaining things to Trump supporters like they’re in kindergarten because, at the end of the conversation, I’m the one who keeps the higher ground.
Do: Know The Difference Between Policy Disagreements And Fundamental Differences When It Comes To Values
In the weeks leading up to and since the election, I saw a wave of “moderates” in my life post Insta stories that said, “We can disagree on politics and still be friends.” Like, at face value, that’s an excellent point. However, it seems like there may be some misunderstanding about what qualifies as politics and what qualifies as, like, necessary empathy and respect for human dignity.
I’m all for talking through policy disagreements, and I can totally respect people challenging my beliefs. When I say that, though, I’m talking about issues like local tax levies, infrastructure proposals, zoning laws, etc. However, most of the time, when we think about family fights about politics, these aren’t the issues we’re talking about.
If it gets to a point where you’re arguing with a family member about systemic racism, discrimination, LGBTQ+ rights, and health care access, you’re no longer talking about politics. You’re now in a debate over fundamental beliefs about human rights; this is where things get complicated, especially after half of a bottle of wine.
Do: Know When To Draw Boundaries
Whether you’re planning a Zoom call with your whole family (good luck) or are keeping it to just your household, this holiday season will likely be a little tenser than ones in the past. If you know that a political argument is likely to break out during dinner, coming in with a plan is really important. Know your sh*t and have some essential facts at the ready, but also know what topics will get too heated and should stay off-limits. It’s also beneficial to talk to relatives that you know have similar views to make sure you’re comfortable defending each other and on the same page.
With the clusterf*ck that is 2020, the silver lining of a Zoom Thanksgiving is that you can hit “end call” or fake a poor network connection at any time—especially if you’re being disrespected and invalidated by people who say that they love you. However, a big part of allyship means having these hard conversations with relatives. Even if you can’t change their mind, half of the battle encourages them to second-guess their own beliefs.
Image: David Todd McCarty/ Unsplash
We’ve all been there: doing super well with our workout routine, eating super clean and healthy, and then the holidays roll around, and you feel like you ate so much mac n cheese, you could literally die. You had the best of intentions. You told yourself you were going to fill up on salad and green beans and turkey. (Okay, so maybe you were a bit unrealistic). That didn’t happen, because food is delicious. If you’re like a lot of people, you might be feeling a whole lot of emotions, and probably not a lot of them are positive. I don’t need to tell you that beating yourself up over not being perfect is counterproductive… but I’ll tell you anyway. Don’t worry, I’m here to help.
When all is said and done (and eaten), you probably came to one of two different conclusions, right? One, you say f*ck it, you already messed up, might as well give up. Two, you own up to your sh*t, recover, and get back on track. If you picked one, then we need to switch your whole mindset. How are you ever going to reach your goals (in fitness and life in general) if, for every one mistake you make, you give up and make another four or five? One bad meal or one bad day doesn’t have to set you back for a week or more. So take a deep breath, stop beating yourself up, and take a look at my best tips to helping you get back on track.
Instead Of Beating Yourself Up… Forgive Yourself
I already touched on this a little, but first and foremost, realize that you’re human and no one on Earth has ever stuck to a diet or lifestyle change perfectly. Diets are not designed for perfect execution, but that’s a whole different topic of discussion that I could talk about forever. Bottom line, if you went harder at Thanksgiving than you had initially intended, forgive your mistake and dust yourself off. It’s just a speed bump, you didn’t crash and burn. You’ll be okay.
Instead Of Feeling Regret… Find Appreciation
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And restriction leads to feeling out of control around food… and around and around we go. #thefuckitdiet
Instead of focusing on all the negative feelings, focus on the upside. Did you have a great time with your friends and family? Did you enjoy the food? Did you avoid getting into an argument with Uncle Paul by making sure your mouth was full with mashed potatoes at all times? Regret nothing. The more you focus on the negative, the more you’ll stress yourself out, which will raise your cortisol levels and cause you to further demonize food. If you follow my school of thought, then you know we don’t demonize food—doing so will just make you want more of the “bad” foods you have deemed off-limits, and in the long run, sabotage your own goals and happiness.
Instead Of Doing A Cleanse… Hydrate And Eat Fiber
Okay, so instead of just not eating the next day to counteract the damage, drink a lot of water and make it a point to eat something green and crunchy like a salad (crunchy because of the lettuce, not croutons, sorry) for either lunch or dinner. The water and fiber will help move things along, literally and figuratively. Salad, soups, feel free to add whatever lean protein you want. Avoid processed foods and try to limit your sodium intake, because it will just make you more bloated. But, for the love of God, eat! Don’t try to crash diet or deprive yourself of food or go on a juice cleanse—that’s setting yourself up for more struggle, disappointment, and bad feelings in the long run.
Instead Of Working Out As Punishment… Do It As Motivation
If you feel so motivated, try to get a workout in. To be clear, this is not a punishment for your mistakes. Don’t approach it like that, but approach it like, now that your gas tank is full, you have the resource to go the extra mile. You may find that you are able to lift heavier, run faster and go for more reps and sets. Use the extra fuel as a resource for achieving new fitness goals, but make sure not to over-exercise to the point of injury.
Remember: As long as you don’t give up, you’ll be okay. Keep the vibe and self-talk positive, because literally, EVERYONE on Earth goes through this. What matters is if you choose to bounce back from these setbacks. The difference between progression and regression not just in fitness, but in life, is realizing you’re bigger than your mistakes.
Images: Element 5 Digital / Unsplash; @dietstartstomorrow, thefuckitdiet /Instagram
The smell of carbs in the air. The glint of Christmas around the corner. The lure of getting blackout drunk in your hometown bar despite the fact that you swore you’d never go back. It can all only mean one thing: Thanksgiving is here. Whether your weekend is full of festive cheer or drunken political debates (most likely a combination of the two), it’s sure to be eventful. Read all about it below in our Thanksgiving weekend horoscopes.
After a couple weeks of nonstop struggle, you’ve earned a relaxing holiday, Sagittarius. Well, as relaxing as you can manage considering you just realized Christmas is only a month away and you’re woefully underprepared. But none of that matters right now! Kick up your feet, fill up you glass with whatever alcohol is in arm’s reach, and forget about anything that doesn’t revolve around eating for at least the next 48 hours.
This weekend is a time for letting go, Capricorn. We know this sounds counter-intuitive to just about everything you stand for, and that’s why it’s time for you to give it a try. The holidays are stressful enough as is without you having to micro-manage every aspect of them. Hand the reigns over to someone else, and try passive observance on for the next few days. You never know, you may actually find it to your liking.
You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something just seems off this holiday season, right Aquarius? That festive cheer that usually runs in your veins from November to January is oddly absent, but that doesn’t mean your holiday has to suffer. Spend this weekend reconnecting with your favorite holiday traditions, even if they have to be adapted a bit to fit your new surroundings. The holidays are what you make them, don’t let anything hold you back.
With the holiday season kicking off in full, we know you’re at Peak Pisces right now. Planning, coordinating, organizing, gifting—what else do you live for? It can be hard in this moment to remember that other people do, in fact, exist within your sphere. People who also love the holidays. People who may want to have some kind of say in how this weekend plays out. Hard to believe, we know. But it’s true. So for the next couple days, try to find the balance between being the reigning queen of the holiday season, and raining on everyone else’s parade.
While the holidays can be a lovely time to bond with family and reflect on what we’re grateful for, it’s also a time of heightened tensions, close quarters, and increased alcohol consumption. Tempers may flare this weekend, Aries, and you may want to keep an eye on your own. Remember, in moments where you momentarily consider using a carving knife on something other than the turkey, that you actually do love these people. No really, you do.
You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends, Taurus. The holidays are stressful enough as is without you trying to cram work into every spare second. While it may not seem like it now, I promise you that the world will not end if you disconnect for a day or two. In fact, stepping back may actually make you better at your job when you come back to it. Take a break, eat some mashed potatoes, pretend to watch some football, and worry about your to-do list come Monday.
You’ve been a bit lost these past few weeks, Gemini, and it’s starting to take its toll. The holidays can feel like a lonely time when you’re disconnected from your regular circle, but it’s also the perfect time to reconnect. Use this weekend as a chance to reach out to friends that you’ve been neglecting lately. Time with family has a way of making us appreciate our friends all the more, which means they’ll be thinking of you too.
Be mindful of your commitments this weekend, Cancer. The holidays have a way of fooling us into thinking we have more time than we actually do, and you’re short on time as it is. Don’t feel the need to accept every invite that comes your way over the next few days—you’re entitled to a break, too. Prioritize a few events and then use the rest of the time to relax with the people you care about. Everyone else will understand, and you may actually feel somewhat rested come Monday.
Considering your penchant for being the center of attention, the holidays can be draining period of you, Leo. While the limelight loves you, and you obviously return the affection, don’t feel like you have to carry the brunt of entertaining this weekend. Your friends and family love you, whether you’re “on” or not. If you’re feeling low-key going into this weekend, don’t fight it. There’s six more weeks of this stuff to endure, your time in the spotlight will come.
Life has been nonstop lately, Virgo, and it doesn’t look like it’ll be slowing down anytime soon. Which means it’s all the more reason to take full advantage of this weekend and chill the eff out. There’s no need for a big production as long as you are with the people that matter. Instead of an extravagant Thanksgiving, maybe opt for something a little more low-key and a little less traditional. There’s no shame in take-out, especially if it’s eaten with friends.
Our advice for this weekend, Libra? Don’t take the bait. Politics, relationships, the general direction of your life—it’s all on the table and your family has no problem interrogating you on any of it. But remember, when they go low, we go high. Take that as literally or figuratively as you please, whatever keeps you calm and collected for the next 72 hours.
Love is in the air this weekend, Scorpio. Be it budding relationships or rekindled ghosts of romance past, you’re in for an exciting few days. While it can be tempting to go from zero to sixty during the holidays, try and keep things casual for now. It can be difficult to make rational decisions in that post-turkey haze.
Images: Becca Tapert / Unsplash; Giphy (6)
Technically Thanksgiving is about “giving thanks,” but if we’re being real, it’s also about surviving spending time with your family. Family members say the darndest things, especially when it comes to politics (looking at you and your lizard people conspiracy theories, Uncle Jared).
But this Thanksgiving is special: In addition to your run-of-the-mill debates about identity politics and what’s really causing near-daily mass shootings (guns. it’s because there are too many guns.), this holiday season also presents us with a thriving impeachment inquiry.
With Americans quite literally split down the middle when it comes to whether the president should be impeached and removed from office, this holiday season is likely to be even more tense than usual.
In order to avoid messy drama at the Thanksgiving table this year, we have laid out some responses to typical conservative talking points about Trump’s potential impeachment that might come up this year. Looks like we are what you can be thankful for this year. You’re welcome!
Cute Comment: Presidents trade things with other governments all the time. That’s foreign policy.
Fire Response: Sure, but typically that’s to gain something of value to the United States. What Trump did was try to dig up dirt on a political opponent. With zero evidence that Joe Biden or his son engaged in wrongdoing related to Hunter Biden’s position on the board of Ukrainian gas company Burisma, this “dirt” had no value to the U.S, just to Trump’s personal political goals. Ensuring Ukraine got military aid, however, did benefit us.
It’s kind of like when you gave me money to order pizza for all the little cousins when I was babysitting them and I pocketed it to buy frosting flavored lip gloss from Claire’s. Remember how mad at me you got for that? Okay, not a perfect metaphor, but the bottom line is Trump used his office and position of power to benefit himself, not help his own people, and in fact put our national security in jeopardy while he was at it. So.
Ignorant Insight: This is just how the government works, sweetie.
Fire Response: It sure seems to be how government is working rn, but it shouldn’t be! What Trump did is blatantly corrupt…he withheld military aid in an attempt to help his own political campaign. If any Clinton ever did this, you would be losing your mind…and you’d be right! It’d be corrupt. Sure, our government does some shady sh*t, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call them out when they do. Welcome to the resistance, Uncle Ted.
Silly Solution: Why not just let the people decide whether to remove Trump in 2020?
Fire Response: Impeachment is important because it’s the people’s way of showing that we aren’t going to allow a president to get away with breaking the rules. Some behavior is just too fucked up to wait for a performance review. Unchecked power leads to horrific things, and impeachment allows us to stop that from happening, as well as make a historical record that we, as a country, object to this behavior.
If we don’t put our feet down and let the record show that this sh*t doesn’t fly, future presidents will be able to do the same thing. Also, Trump tried to extort the Ukrainian president literally one day after Robert Mueller’s testimony failed to full implicate him in obstruction of justice. One day! What do you think he’d do the day after he wasn’t actually impeached?
President Trump clearly thinks he should be able to get away with things that the Constitution says he shouldn’t. If we don’t stand up to that, our democracy could begin to crumble. Idk about you, but I like my democracy fully intact tyvm. (Never gonna happen because Russia is already f*cking with us again, but worth a try.)
Fake News: There was no quid pro quo.
Fire Response: Mmm, there literally was though. The definition of a quid pro quo is: a favor or advantage granted or expected in return for something. Trump expected Ukraine to announce an investigation into the Bidens, and in return, he would give them military aid. Quid. Pro. Quo.
But given that most people first encounter the phrase “quid pro quo” in sexual harassment training, it suddenly makes sense why Trump doesn’t seem to know it.
Also, two people with direct contact with Trump — EU ambassador Gordon Sondland and acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney — both admitted on live television that there was a quid pro quo. *Sips wine*
Stupid Suggestion: Idk, I think we need to hear from the whistleblower.
Fire response: I don’t really see why that is necessary, seeing as everything the whistleblower said has already been confirmed. Trump himself released the call transcript in which he replies to a foreign government’s ask for support with “I’d like you to do us a favor though” and mention investigations into the Bidens by name.
People who were on the call have confirmed the whistleblower’s concerns, saying even the damning version of the rough transcript released by the White House was altered to hide more explicit references.
But in any event, whistleblowers need to be protected by anonymity for their literal safety. Revealing their identity would put that at risk — and if something awful happened to a whistleblower, you think people would still speak up about dangerous government corruption? Would you? Could that be exactly Trump’s hope by publicly threatening the whistleblower? *Sips more wine*
Misinformer Misdirection: But Trump never had anything to do with it directly.
Fire Response: Sorry hennie, but Gordon Sondland squashed that theory (a good time to ask for someone to pass the squash).
Sondland said that Trump repeatedly asked people to work with Giuliani, and digging up dirt on the Bidens was Giuliani’s mission. Also, a U.S. official based in Kiev, David Holmes, testified last week that he overheard Trump on the phone with Sondland talking about “the investigations,” and Sondland told him directly that Trump only cares about “big stuff” in Ukraine, like “the Biden investigation.”
And I think we all know this sounds legit, because Trump speaking loud enough on the phone for everyone in the building to hear it is the least shocking thing I’ve ever heard.
Nope: Ukraine ultimately got the aid, so what’s it matter?
Fire Response: Do you hear yourself?
Attempting a crime is still…a crime! Ever heard of attempted murder? If you fail at murdering your victim it’s not just a no-harm-no-foul sitch, you still have to answer to the law. Same thing applies here. ALSO, most importantly, Trump only released the aid to after the whistleblower’s report was filed AND after he was notified of it. So like, once Trump had been caught. Coincidence, I THINK NOT AUNT BECKY.
But Ukraine does have a history of corruption. And we give out too much foreign aid anyway!
Measured reaction: True, Cousin Karen. But this new progressive-minded president, Volodymyr Zelensky, had already enacted reforms to combat the country’s issues with corruption. Trump was asking him to behave corruptly! As for foreign aid, if Trump thinks the bill is too high, he has other ways of bringing that to Congress’s attention.
This Ukraine aid packaged had already been approved by Congress because helping Ukraine protect itself against Russian aggression — a reminder, the country is very much at war with Russia — helps U.S. strategic interests and national security.
Cold Take: Okay, so maybe the White House meeting was conditioned upon aid, but none of the witnesses were sure that the military aid was. I think that’s more serious — Ukraine can’t protect itself against Russia without it.
Fire Response: Exactly! But also, sorry. You’re forgetting that White House acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney said on live television during a press conference that aid was withheld. He straight-up admitted to a quid pro quo and said the words, “That’s why we held up the money,” and then I believe used the phrase, “Get over it.” So. Oopsies!
I Can’t: But her emails…
Fire Response: OMFG Uncle Paul, in the words of Mick Mulvaney, GET OVER IT. If you’re so obsessed with making sure politicians don’t do shady sh*t for their own personal benefit, then hop on board to this impeachment and bring your but her emails energy to the actual problem happening right now.
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Not only is it Thanksgiving week, but we’ve officially entered into Sagittarius season. This season is all about being open, trying new things, and going with the goddamn flow. Basically, eat whatever is presented to you at the Thanksgiving table, unless it’s one of those weird 1950s “salads” with jello in it. Some things are not worth the new experience.
This week, you’re using your break to gear up for 2020 and crush those end of year goals. Get relaxed now so that you can come back next week ready to kill it at every holiday party this year and network, network, network. Hell, you can even get a head start this Thanksgiving by actually listening to your weird cousin as he tries to explain his new cryptocurrency business. Just be sure he doesn’t convince you to actually invest. He’s definitely using the money for weed.
You’ve been laying low at home the past few weeks, Taurus, but now it’s time to break free. Sure, “leaving the house” and “Thanksgiving” don’t usually go hand in hand, but there are tons of opportunities to stretch your wings and explore if you look for them. Hit up your local hometown bar (and try to hook up with that cute guy who sat in front of you in sophomore algebra), take a “walk” with your cousins (that is actually you just smoking weed), or be the one to volunteer for a grocery store run when Aunt Roseanne gets drunk and spills wine on all the sides. Opportunities abound, if you look for them!
Ow-ow! You’re feeling sexy this week, Gemini, and what’s sexier than Thanksgiving? Okay, don’t answer that. But don’t give up hope! Whether it be swiping through dating apps in your hometown to find out who’s hot now, or hooking up with bae in your childhood bedroom, you’ll find a way to get some sexy time in, even with all the family bonding and sh*t. Just make sure you lock it down before Thanksgiving dinner and not after. Food comas are a real libido killer.
For once in your life, your walls are actually coming down. So what are you going to do with your new, vulnerable self? You are primed for some real family time now that questions about your future, love life, and recent weight gain aren’t going to make you want to tear your hair out. Or, at least, they’ll make you want to tear your hair out slightly less than normal. Enjoy this opportunity to really go deep with extended family. You never know which wealthy great aunt is just dying to leave her fortune to anyone who will actually listen to her stories. Just sayin’…
Can a health kick and Thanksgiving go together? You’re about to find out, Leo! The stars are telling you to get back on your fitness, but the calendar is telling you it’s time to eat everything and never move. What’s a poor lion to do? Try to balance these two desires by paying attention to portion size, rather than denying yourself your favorite Thanksgiving treats. Oh, and there’s a little thing called “running” that anyone can do, anywhere, any time. No gym required. The world is your treadmill!
Thank God for a much-needed break, Virgo. You’ve been running on fumes, and now it’s time to relax and restore. The stars are giving you full permission to be your best holiday self, aka be lazy as f*ck. If you end up not leaving your parents’ house for a full five days, so be it. And if anyone asks why you haven’t moved in 48 hours, tell them you’re reflecting on the true meaning of Thanksgiving, then close your eyes and pretend to meditate.
You’re officially in the holiday spirit and dying to spread good cheer to those around you. There’s still time to throw a last-minute friendsgiving, and there’s definitely time to start planning the greatest holiday party of all time. If you’re not in a place where you can entertain guests (hi, railroad apartment with seven roommates), find something you can contribute to get your family celebrations really poppin’. Suuuuper strong eggnog, anyone?
Your season has finally come to a close, but that’s okay because holiday season is upon us! You’re hot off your birthday month and feeling flirty, so now is the perfect time to lock down your date for any holiday events coming up (and secure one more person who will have to buy you a present). Keep your eyes open and be ready for the right person to pop up in the most unexpected of places. Who knows? They could be right across from you at Thanksgiving! Okay wait, no. That’s your cousin…
Welcome to your season, Sagittarius! Time to live your best life and be your best damn self. And what better way to do that than by reigniting your love life, just in time for cuffing season? Archers in a relationship should focus on what they love about their partner. Are they a good travel buddy? Great with your little cousins? Or maybe you’re just grateful for that D. All valid foundations for a relationship.
Get ready to be the Queen of Thanksgiving, Capricorn! You thrive in situations where you have to turn forced family fun into real family fun, so everyone will be looking to you for basically everything. Your sides are on point. Your pie crust is poppin’. Your turkey is succulent as hell. Just try not to outshine Aunt Martha’s cranberry sauce too much. Making it is like, low-key the highlight of her year.
The universe has gifted you with some rose-colored glasses just in time of the holidays, Aquarius, and thank God for that! For one whole week, you’ve gained the ability to see all of your family’s annoying quirks as funny quirks, which is a superpower worth more than flight, invisibility, and telekinesis combined. Grandpa’s stories aren’t long, they’re epic! Mom’s pre-dinner freakout isn’t frustrating, it’s endearing. And Uncle Mark’s racially charged rant is…well…it’s still a racially charged rant. But this time you’ll have the energy to calmly explain why he’s wrong instead of losing your sh*t and flipping the table Real Housewives style. And at least that’s something!
You’re in the mood to celebrate the true meaning of Thanksgiving this year, Pisces, and no, I don’t mean blacking out on fancy wine and eating an entire pie by yourself. I mean being f*cking thankful! You’ll feel the best coming out of this holiday if you actually find ways to incorporate giving thanks into your day, whether it be by making a point to tell your sister you appreciate her contouring tips, or by giving your 13-year-old cousin props for learning to use deodorant this year. Make those mental props, though. Acknowledging it out loud might embarrass him and cause him to regress.
Images: Charles DeLoye / Unsplash; Giphy (12)
The sodium-filled bags under your eyes will thank you.
Overeating on Thanksgiving is inevitable. Not only is overeating on Thanksgiving inevitable, but overeating some particularly nasty ingredients is also inevitable. (And if you don’t relate to this idea of “overeating” then I’m sure there is another article out there for you somewhere!).
We’ve all heard the shpiel about what “bad foods” and “bad ingredients” can do to our bodies, with the most obvious consequence being weight gain. But, have you ever stopped to think about what these harmful ingredients can do to your skin?
What I’m trying to say is: not only can you gain weight after eating poorly, but your face and skin can go down the drain, too. Certain foods really can affect the quality of our skin. But, as I mentioned, eating these foods on Thanksgiving is going to happen no matter what. So, instead of trying to change our behaviors on the one holiday that we’re basically required to indulge, let’s lean on some amazing skin care products instead to help get us back to our beautiful, fresh-faced selves.
Below I’ve listed out some beauty products you’ll probably need after indulging on Thanksgiving. I also spoke with dermatologist and founder of MMSkincare, Dr. Ellen Marmur, who helped explain why our faces look so
gross different after eating certain foods/ingredients.
Concern: Puffy Eyes From Sodium
Solution: Wander Beauty Baggage Claim Eye Masks
The excessive sodium we’ll be eating from all of that stuffing, pecan pie, and (if you’re one of those) gravy can lead to some seriously puffy under-eyes. Why? Because “when we’re eating out of balance, the fluids in our bodies begin to pool in areas where there is empty space,” says Dr. Marmur. She explained that you’re probably bloated all over, but you’ll notice it more under your eyes.
So, invest in some stretchy pants as well as The Baggage Claim Eye Masks from Wander Beauty. These eye masks are super soothing and cooling, and also completely stay put on your face. Not that you were planning on being productive on Thanksgiving, but on the off-chance that you get up from the couch and help your mom clean up, you definitely have the option to wear these masks at the same time.
Concern: Dry Skin From Alcohol
Solution: Herbal Dynamics Beauty Hyaluronic Acid & Oat Overnight Recovery Mask
Alcohol is a kicker for many reasons. Dr. Marmur explained that our skin gets super stressed out from all of the sleep we are destined to NOT get after drinking, as well as from the total loss of water our bodies experience when consuming alcohol. She explains, “The water that’s normally in our circulation either goes out to the soft tissue (which also causes puffiness under the eyes), or it gets driven to our kidneys and you end up peeing a lot more than usual.” Which all leads to dryness.
Hyaluronic acid to the rescue! HA is a molecule that “brings humidity to it, and holds it” according to Dr. Marmur. This is why the Herbal Dynamics Beauty Recovery Mask is a miracle worker. It totally plumps up the skin overnight by helping it to retain water. Let’s just hope you’re not too lit to remember to put it on.
Concern: Wrinkles & Acne From Carbohydrates
Solution: Anda Enzyme Serum-Masque & Paula’s Choice BHA 9 Treatment
While there is not much science behind the idea of carbs directly causing wrinkles and acne, Dr. Marmur explained to me the working theory of “glycation,” or that sugar found in carbohydrates causes inflammation (which can lead to acne) and a loss of collagen in the skin (which can lead to premature wrinkles). Dr. Marmur emphasized that some people simply metabolize carbs well, while others don’t. My brand is definitely “metabolizes carbs well.” Anyway, her advice is to eat what feels right to you. If you notice you look particularly swollen after chocolate, for example, then eat less chocolate. Life’s tough, I know.
Carbs or no carbs, we’ll all be wrinkly one day. Accept it! Or, if you can’t, you can use serums like the Anda enzyme serum-masque to gently exfoliate and smooth out the skin. I’ve noticed that my skin looks super luminous with this particular serum! For acne, Paula’s Choice BHA 9 Treatment works like a charm.
Concern: Being Anti-Social
Solution: MMSphere LED Skincare Device
Okay, you caught me—this isn’t a skincare concern, but it’s still arguably THE biggest concern on Thanksgiving. Like, why do I need to entertain my out-of-town cousin at 9am the morning after Thanksgiving when we mutually don’t care about each other?
Enter the MMSphere LED Skincare Device* from Dr. Marmur. You know those ring lights that make us look hot in our selfies? This device is shaped like that, but it actually has real, non-superficial benefits that don’t include getting our ex to “like” our latest Instagram. This device has five different colored lights, each with a different benefit for our skin. The amber light will be of particular use to you this Thanksgiving, as it releases endorphins and is proven to elevate your mood and energize you—it’s even used to treat depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder. So instead of waking up and immediately retreating back to your pillow, soak up that amber light and be SOCIAL!
*Betches readers can use code “HOLIDAY19” for any starter pack of your choice with the purchase of a sphere or a 4 pack of masks with the purchase of 3 serums.
Good luck, and happy eating! 😉
Images: The MMSphere; Paula’s Choice Skincare; Kerstin Florian Skincare; Herbal Dynamics Beauty; Wander Beauty
Kim Kardashian and I are very different people, leading very different lives, but one thing we definitely have in common is that we spend an obscene amount of money on crap we don’t need. The only slight difference between our spending is that she keeps on living her high-brow life and I wake up to “low funds” alerts from my bank. So my cute little financial compromise is that I’ll only buy things I need (using the term “need” loosely here) if they’re on sale. Enter Cyber Monday.
Cyber Monday is the time for me to buy things I’ve had my eye on for a while, but don’t want to drop money on when it is full price. Ya know? Read on for our top Cyber Monday picks in every area of your life, like home decor, tech, and fashion. One small caveat, there are no beauty sales listed below because I thought those sales deserved their own story. You’re welcome.
Ikea Markerad Daybed
Truth be told, I own zero Ikea items because the idea of paying like, $300 for a sofa that I have to put together myself after dragging it on the Ferry from Red Hook, guided only by instructions which are 100% photos and 0% words, sounds like a truly miserable time. However, Ikea is obviously popular among more patient people, so they will be excited to know that a large selection of Ikea pieces are on super sale! Daybeds like the very minimalist chic Markerad are 20% off! Honestly, if my one bedroom that I share with another person was big enough, I’d be all over this daybed situation because I believe they are the true mark of sophistication. Also on sale—up to $200 off—are the Frigeten, Gronlid and Vimle sleeper sofas so that your weird cousin doesn’t have to share your bed when she comes to visit. Is it just me or do all Ikea names sound like they could be characters on Game of Thrones?
Ruggable Vintage Daisy Bordered Fuschia Rug
One thing I really want, but don’t want to shell out all of my money for, is a new rug, which is why I still have the nasty-ass one from my college apartment. Before I realized Ruggable was having a 20% off sale site-wide (with the code CM2019), I kind of just accepted sleeping in the same room as a rug I puked on in college. Yum! I am so excited to spend 97% of my Monday on Ruggable since they actually have limitless rugs. I have my eye on the Vintage Daisy Bordered one, but to each her own. One last thing about Ruggable is that when you order a rug, you get a pad too, and if you’ve ever eaten sh*t on the corner of a rug, you know how essential a pad is. Also, they’re machine washable!
Bekka Campbell Cactus Framed Art Print
I know I’ll have made it when people ask what I do and I say, “I’m an art collector.” However, today is not that day and the only art displayed in my home is a bunch of tiny framed prints from Society6. Tbh even though they are already pretty cheap, I will always take advantage of one of their massive sales, like the 50% off site-wide from November 30 through December 2. If you aren’t at art collector status yet, but still want aesthetically pleasing pieces for your
small, windowless box apartment, Society6 is the move. I have two prints, one of a pink Art Deco building with palm trees in front of it and one of eight illustrated cacti, leaning against the wall on my floating shelves. As long as you don’t get a stupid print (like “Live, Laugh, Love” in gold lettering), all of the prints will look chic af.
Reformation Emersyn Dress
I have a love-hate relationship with Reformation because sometimes it looks like Forever21 quality with an Intermix price tag and since I don’t have money to waste, I’m just not about that. However, some of my favorite dresses that I’ve worn to every wedding I’ve ever attended are Reformation and I’m okay with that. One of the few reasons I like it is because the clothes are simple in both silhouette and color, which makes me more inclined to wear them all the time. For Cyber Monday, Reformation is shining down on us and offering 30% off site-wide. I mean, finally? Call me crazy, but Reformation doesn’t have sales, like, ever, so this is a big deal. I may even get up a little earlier than usual because something tells me the clothes will go fast.
Kensie Patchwork Sequin Long Sleeve Minidress
Misleading name aside, Dress the Population is a great brand for people who like to be a little extra when they go out. I say the name is misleading because outfitting the population (aka everyone) implies the brand is affordable, but, rest assured, it is quite expensive. Luckily, their clothes will be affordable for four whole days starting November 27th, with a 30% off the whole site code (CYBER2019)! I first learned of this brand through Rent the Runway, but it’s sold at Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s, Amazon Fashion, etc. My point is, it’s legit. In fact, I wore a long-sleeve mini dress with heavy beading to a wedding last weekend (giving my Reformation dress the day off) and I feel like more people complimented my dress than the bride’s. Weird flex, I know, but just trying to make a point that this brand is great.
N° 21 Leopard-Print Faux Fur Match Puffer
Saks Off 5th is an amazing store and makes a serious case for never buying anything full-price. It’s like a nicer and less stressful Nordstrom Rack, and I have faithfully loved it since I found my prom dress there a decade ago. So for Cyber Monday, SO5 is having a 60% off outerwear sale. Do with that enormous discount what you will, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will be purchasing more than one coat. Normally, Amazon is my coat destination of choice, but this feels too good to pass up.
Nespresso® by De’longhi VertuoPlus Coffee and Espresso Maker Bundle and Aeroccino Frother
Bed, Bath & Beyond is hands-down my favorite store. I mean, it literally sells everything. So, if you have Abi Abrams-type feelings toward BB&B, please reach out to me in the comments because I feel like we will get along. But also, be sure to snag yourself a very chic Nespresso® by De’longhi VertuoPlus Coffee and Espresso Maker Bundle and Aeroccino Frother for 35% off. I mean, you have not had a good cappuccino until you’ve made it using a frother.
Beats Studio3 Wireless Noise-Canceling Headphones
The last time I was in a Best Buy, it was to get the Sims 3: Makin’ Magic! However, I will definitely be paying a visit (to the website) on Monday to get the Beats Studio3 Wireless Noise-Canceling Headphones, which are regularly $350, but on Monday, are $200. Sold! I had the Solo 3 headphones, but lost them in the security line at La Guardia. That’s right, someone behind me reached into my bag and snatched them and I didn’t notice until I was on the plane trying to fall asleep to the sound of giant engines and screaming infants. RIP. All I have to say is, f*ck the person who stole my Beats! Anyway, I will finally be able to tune out my coworkers again when I order the new Beats on Monday, and I truly cannot wait.
50-inch Roku Smart LED TV
After my old roommate **curse her soul** broke our lease and moved out, she rubbed salt in the wound by taking her TV with her. I know what you’re thinking: why would she leave it there? Well, because she bullied me into signing a two-year lease then moved out after seven months because she wanted a cuter apartment in the West Village. K. So, the least she could do after completely f*cking me over was leave her sh*tty TV. However, because she’s an assh*le, I had to buy a new one, and I ended up with a Roku smart TV. For Cyber Monday, you can head to Walmart’s website and get the same 50-inch Roku Smart LED TV with aggressively high HD for $148! Honestly, for a 50-incher, that’s pretty cheap. The smart aspect is also pretty cool because it allows you to be supremely lazy and just yell “Great British Bake Off!” and it just flips to Channel 4. Ah, technology.
Images: Ikea; Ruggable; Society6; Reformation; Dress the Population; Saks Off 5th; Bed, Bath & Beyond; Best Buy; Walmart; Unsplash