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Forget Golden Retriever BF, Is He A Territorial German Shepherd Or A Short King Chihuahua?

By now we’ve all heard of the golden retriever boyfriend. You know, the eager-to-please, universally-liked, energetic boy toy who just wants to spend every waking minute trying to win over your attention.  

With over 180 million views on TikTok, it’s a clear favorite breed of boyfriend. But not everyone wants a significant other who lives to simp. (Personally speaking, I literally have a golden retriever and wouldn’t trade her for the world. Love you, Nala!) 

So, if your S.O. is nothing like an easy-going doofus and more of a butt-licking, low energy fur baby or an aggressively territorial canine, have no fear! There’s a reason why everyone has a different type. Here are some examples of boyfriend breeds who deserve a furever home as well.   

Italian Greyhound

A slender, elegant creature, the Italian Greyhound boyfriend is quite affectionate, if not incredibly European. He might correct your pronunciation of “ESPRESSO” within an inch of your life but makes a great companion. There’s a reason Kylie Jenner collects them like toys.

German Shepherd 

Super intense dude who is loyal to a fault but hates strangers. He says he wants to protect you but really he just wants you to tell him he’s tough. (Prone to biting if he isn’t trained properly!)  

Great Dane 

Travis Kelce and a Great Dane

Really big dude who just wants to vibe. He’s essentially Travis Kelce. (I know, I know! People are convinced he’s a golden retriever but you are all wrong.) Let him sit on a porch and stare off into the sunset. (Unfortunately, he has hip dysplasia.)  

Pug 

Considered “God’s mistake,” he snores and/or uses a sleep apnea machine. If you can put up with his poor lung capacity, he has a stable temperament that comes in handy when you suggest sleeping in separate beds. (Don’t over-exercise!) 

Husky 

Convinced everyone thinks he’s really smart but he’s actually just really annoying. He won’t shut the fuck up but he’s super cute and great in cold weather. Might as well keep him through cuffing season before you put him up for adoption in late February.    

Shiba Inu

Uncomfortable in crowds, particularly parties. A typical introvert, he’d prefer to get lost in a good book. Or chew on the leg of the couch because you asked him to leave the seat down. 

Chihuahua

Short king who hates people, sounds and things. He’s territorial by nature and likes to think of himself as a tough guy. But he looks great in little outfits!

Labrador 

Many assume a lab boyfriend is the same as a golden retriever boyfriend but that’s an oversimplification. A lab BF is a real family guy but cannot stop eating little treats. Don’t count on sharing an appetizer during dinner dates. 

Dachshund

Obsessed with the length of his wiener. 

Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte (she/her) leads the lifestyle and relationship verticals at Betches. As an amateur New Yorker and professional bisexual, she enjoys writing about the bane of sex and relationships in the city. She is also perpetually in her messy house era despite spending all of her money on Instagram ads.