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What Your S.O.'s "Name A Woman" Response Says About Your Relationship

Ah, yes, another relationship challenge for the chronically online. The “Name A Woman” TikTok trend has become some sort of a loyalty test for bored girlfriends who want to pick a fight with their partner. Relatable! 

The challenge is simply asking your significant other to name literally any woman’s name, and the hope is that they’re smart enough to say yours. (Not to brag, but when I asked my S.O. to name a woman, they quickly retorted, “Uh, you, I guess?” Talk about swoon!!!) 

Unfortunately, not every man fared as well. From Anne Frank to Sydney Sweeney, below are real answers that I dutifully gathered from TikTok — thank god for that journalism degree — and what it says about your relationship

@taniatotanesmartinez♬ original sound – tania

You, babe! 

Let’s start with the good news. If your S.O. said your name, you basically won the challenge. What’s it like being someone’s obsession? It must be nice. So give ’em a big kiss and explain to their confused face that someone is getting head tonight.   

Anne Frank 

Wow, that’s a choice. The first woman that came out of their mouth was a 13-year-old Holocaust victim. Are they okay? It might be worth staying with them until their Lexapro kicks in.    

Barbara Walters 

Enjoy arguing for 60 minutes. 

Beyoncé

That is a perfectly acceptable answer. If anything, a better answer than your own damn name. This also goes for Taylor Swift or Oprah. I don’t make the rules. 

Helen Keller 

Out of all of the women in the history of the world, if he says Helen Keller, you may want to reconsider your communication style.       

Margaret Thatcher

A popular answer to the challenge, apparently Margaret Thatcher, is infiltrating our men even in death. Ultimately, it’s a fine answer if your BF is British. If he’s not, consider role-play. As Hugh Grant once said, “You saucy minx!”

Mom

First of all, is he referring to his mom or your mom? Either way, it’s a Mommy Complex and/or Catholic guilt. (And I can diagnose this because I have access to a publication.) To heal, say 10 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers.  

RBG

I mean, we love a feminist. But your relationship is clearly a metaphor for a crumbling institution. Either that or his sexual fantasy is more women in the Supreme Court. Hot!    

Rosa Parks 

It’s not exactly the answer you were looking for, but a civil rights leader is still a green flag. Take the wins where you can! 

Sofia Vergara 

Unless they’re actively binging Modern Family, Sofia Vergara shouldn’t be living in their head rent-free. But don’t worry too much. At the very least, she’s more age-appropriate than Anne Frank.   

Sydney Sweeney 

Sorry about the divorce!   

Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte
Melanie Whyte (she/her) leads the lifestyle and relationship verticals at Betches. As an amateur New Yorker and professional bisexual, she enjoys writing about the bane of sex and relationships in the city. She is also perpetually in her messy house era despite spending all of her money on Instagram ads.