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An Official Pitch Deck For Anna Delvey’s Social Media Strategy *Leaked*

This week, a judge ruled that house arrest baddie/ fake heiress Anna Delvey can finally return to social media. As she should! Like, if you want her to be a contributing member of society, let her give the people hair tutorials and supplement recommendations. We know that from her courtroom lewks to her grand plans for the Anna Delvey Foundation, Anna doesn’t half-ass anything, so we can expect her social media comeback will be no different. 

A pragmatist and a strategist, Anna will likely hire a social media consultancy or PR firm to get her official hard launch moving and grooving. But that kind of expertise doesn’t come cheap, and since Anna allegedly makes all of her money from her paintings (like when you play The Sims and lock a goblin in your basement with only an easel so he’s forced to become an expert artist and fund your lavish lifestyle), she probably can’t afford anyone too prestigious. 

If I had to guess, she’ll work with a third-rate agency. Desperate for known entities on their roster, the agency will offer a ridiculous discount and/or tolerate very, very, very late payments. Their pitch will look a little something like this: 

Anna Delvey relieved to be able to ‘take control’ of her ‘own narrative’
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Image Credit: Lifetime
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Image Credit: Left: Christopher Peterson / Splash News | Right: Janet Mayer / Splash News
Image Credit: Hot Ones / SKIMS
Image Credit: Getty Images

Emma Sharpe
Emma Sharpe is a New York based writer and marketer. She's a Kardashian apologist and finds a Survivor metaphor for every life situation. You can find more of her pop culture ramblings at unculturednews.substack.com.