Everyone Is Crabby; It's Not Just You: Your Weekly Horoscopes for June 18-22

The Sun moves into Cancer this week, so, like, Happy birthday to all the Cancer betches out there. True to Cancer’s mascot, the crab, the focus of attention on this sign can make everyone else a little emotional and, um, crabby. On the other hand, Cancers are nurturing, caring and humorous. Yeah, let’s just  say everyone is going to be a little all over the place this week. Here are your weekly horoscopes for June 18-22.


Neptune is starting a retrograde in your subconscious realm starting Monday. This means your intuition will be at an all-time high for the next few weeks. You might feel a little psychic. Instead of being able to tell when it’s already raining, you’ll be able to tell when your friend is about ready to text a fuckboy she swore she’d never speak to again.


You need to avoid needy or negative people in the week ahead. As a Taurus, it’s easy for you to take in strays. That applies to both pets and people. Unlike sweet, helpless animals, people can have ulterior motives for wanting your attention and affection. If an acquaintance suddenly wants to be your bff, be prepared for them to ask something big of you. Don’t be afraid to say “fuck no” to their request.


The Sun moves into your money house this week. This will not only attract the dollar bills to you (cha-ching!), but it will also cause you to reexamine your values and where you spend your money. So if you value tequila shots and one-piece swimsuits, I say you’re probably spending your money in the right place.


The Sun in your sign this week gives you energy, makes you hotter, and puts everyone’s attention on you. What more could you ask for? Like some super hero guy’s uncle once said: With great power comes great responsibility. Use your status for good and not evil. So, like, when guys start buying you drinks, hand them out to your friends so you can all drink for free!


As the Sun enters Cancer this week, it enters the hidden part of your chart. This is the time to rest up and recuperate so that next month you can celebrate in style. This is also a great time for you to look at your life choices and set goals for where you’d like to see yourself in a year, and, yes, walking the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is an acceptable goal. Dream big, betch.


Neptune enters retrograde in your partnership zone this week. Get ready for, like, a lot of feeling about your relationship status. You’ll be more in touch with the emotions of people around you and likely to internalize how they’re feeling. If you notice your mood sucks and you feel shitty all the time, take a look at who you’re spending your time with and see if it’s their attitude you’re taking on.


The Sun is at the top of your chart starting this week. Get ready for a month of attention. Your tweets and Instagram posts will get more likes, you’ll get more matches on Hinge, your friends will wait for your response in the group chat to continue to the convo. Those things are great, but your boss could also be paying more attention, so, like, maybe hold off on the two hour lunches and excessive personal calls.


To start the week, the Moon is chilling in your fame sector while the Sun is in your house of secrets. There may be a lot of eyes on you, but you’re not willing to give anything away. There’s noting wrong with playing coy this week. You might even want to cut down on your social media posts so you can leave them all wanting more.


Neptune in retrograde affects your home and family. Be prepared for some blowups between siblings and parents. Likewise, it’s possible you could get into it with your roommates. I mean, how many times do you have to tell someone to not borrow your sweaters without asking and to quit eating all your fucking granola bars?! C’mon now.


The Moon is in your house of determination to start the week. You’ve had your eyes on the prize for a while, and this is the week to make moves. If you’re not working for a goal, maybe it’s time you pick one to reach for. Remember, goals need to be quantitative and attainable. So, no, getting hot and successful won’t cut it. Losing three pounds and getting a raise will, though.


Mars in your sign gives you the energy to work hard and party hard, no Adderall needed. Still, the Sun in your house of recreation will have your sights set on the more fun things in life. While you might have your face pointed at the computer screen, your mind will already be at happy hour. As long as the half-priced Moscow Mules don’t keep you from showing up to the office the next day, you’ll be just fine.


The Sun is traveling through a fellow water sign and also enters the most fun part of your chart this week. It’s party time, betch. You won’t be relying on others to set the agenda for what you consider a good time. You’re either in charge of the planning or off on your own. Nothing is worse than having to bow to the needs of the group when you just want to get your party on. Say no to bachelorette parties this week, unless it’s your own.

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