I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Tristan Thompson has a problem keeping it in his pants. Whether he’s hooking up with his baby mama’s family friend, motorboating randos in the club, or, let’s face it, doing a lot of shady sh*t we probably haven’t even heard about about, he’s definitely not remaining faithful to the best member of reality TV’s First Family. And he seemed like such a stand-up guy when he left his pregnant girlfriend for Khloé! This is an American tragedy.
Thankfully, we have Khloé to help keep our heads up during this dark time, because she for sure will not be taking the high road. No, Khloé is going to end this relationship as pettily as humanly possible. And nothing makes me evil giggle more than a good old fashioned public display of revenge. So, let’s take a look at the pettiest things Khloé has done in response to Tristan’s cheating. Enjoy them now, before she takes him back gets mature and, like, stops publicly shaming him.
1. Put True In A “Wish You Were Here” Shirt
Let’s start with the most recent incident, shall we? Last week, Khloé posted a picture of True to her Instagram story. A totally normal thing to do. I mean, I can’t even open Instagram anymore without seeing every single bowel movement that came out of my friend’s children. Everyone posts pictures of their babies, right? Wrong. Or at least, not like this. Because True just happened to be wearing a shirt that said “wish you were here.” And US Weekly is reporting that Khloé is unhappy with Tristan because he hasn’t been making an effort to be in True’s life. Damn. It’s too bad Tristan clearly doesn’t give a sh*t about Khloé’s feelings, or this would have been a sick burn.
Leave it to a Kardashian to use an 11-month old baby to get back at their ex. They’re so rich now they don’t even care that they’re setting their children up for a lifetime of therapy. A small price to pay for 1 million likes, am I right?
2. Roasted Him On Twitter
We are so #blessed to live in the era of social media. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t read about celebrity sex scandals in 280 characters or less. I’d probably have to start sh*t with my own friends or something. Thankfully, I have Khloé Kardashian to keep me apprised of where her boyfriend’s d*ck has been, and it’s all accessible via an app on my phone. And boy, is she keeping us up to date.
After Jordyn blabbed to Jada about what happened between her and Tristan, Khloé came after her, accusing Jordyn of breaking up her family. Naturally, people took issue with all the blame being thrown at Jordyn since it takes two to tango swap bodily fluids. So, Khloé decided to come at Tristan too.
This has been an awful week & I know everyone is sick of hearing about it all (as am I). I’m a rollercoaster of emotions & have said things I shouldn’t have. Honestly, Tristan cheating on me & humiliating me, wasn’t such a shock as the first time.
— Khloé (@khloekardashian) March 2, 2019
“Tristan cheating on me & humiliating me wasn’t a shock,” OUCH. Ladies, if you would not be shocked to find out that your significant other cheated on you, please imagine I just smacked you in the face with my huge red flag. Throw the man away!
Tristan is equally to blame but Tristan is the father of my child. Regardless of what he does to me I won’t do that to my daughter. He has been addressing this situation PRIVATELY. If Tristan were to lie publicly about what conspired,then yes I would address him publicly as well
— Khloé (@khloekardashian) March 1, 2019
It’s also interesting of Khloé to mention that she has been addressing the situation with Tristan privately. So he publicly rubs his face in another woman’s chest, and he publicly “kisses” Jordyn Woods, but he gets to privately beg for forgiveness. Doesn’t she see the issue here? He can’t even man up and tweet an apology?! Disgusting.
3. Deleted His Pictures From Her Instagram
Okay so if we’re being honest here, I don’t actually follow any of the Kardashians on Instagram. Sure, I like to check what they’re doing obsessively, but I also like to reply, “oh no, I don’t follow them,” in a superior tone to anyone who asks me if I saw the latest picture of Kim’s ass. I know, I hate me too. So because of that, I can’t say with complete authority that Khloé deleted any pictures of Tristan from her Instagram vs. she just didn’t post any to begin with, but it does seem suspect that there are more photos of her Birkin bags on her feed than there are of the man with whom she created a life. So I suspect a serious social scrub.
She’s also clearly using Instagram to show him what he’s missing. I believe I’ve heard this referred to as the “revenge body.”
4. Named Their Child True
And finally, in the ultimate act of pettiness after Tristan was caught cheating in 2018, Khloé named their baby True Thompson. I know, I know, Kris Jenner tried to convince all of us it’s a family name, but I would not put it past her to resort to bribery to change old birth records. What, like it’s hard?
And even on the off chance that True was a family name, perhaps it wasn’t the best choice to give your child that name after your boyfriend was just caught lying and cheating on you? You didn’t want to just go with Jessica to avoid speculation? Are you too good for the name Emma, Khloé?
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And that’s how petty our girl Khloé is! I hope she chooses her next boyfriend much more carefully, but I doubt that will happen. So look for another story just like this in 9-12 months! Can’t wait for those tweets.
Images: Getty Images; Giphy (1); theshaderoom, khloekardashian (2) /Instagram; khloekardashian/Twitter