Last night, we were all shocked beyond belief at the news of Jordyn Woods allegedly hooking up with Tristan Thompson. Could the betrayal be any more extreme? Has girl code ever been violated in a worse way? Probably not. Reportedly, Tristan was in LA to spend Valentine’s Day with Khloé, but then he spent Sunday night making out with Jordyn at a house party. Really, the part about Tristan cheating isn’t shocking, considering he couldn’t even keep it in his pants days before Khloé had his baby. Now, rumor has it that Khloé broke up with Tristan, and we can only assume that Jordyn isn’t really welcome to live at Kylie’s house anymore. I get annoyed when my friends stay with me for a long weekend, so even without the cheating, it’s past time for her to go.
We’re still eagerly waiting for more details on Jordyn Woods’ impending funeral, but they’ll probably make us wait six months to get any actual information on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. While we wait, at least the situation has provided some prime opportunities for comedy. The internet has been on fire yesterday and today, so everyone really deserves a round of applause for their great work. Here are some of our favorite Jordyn and Tristan memes.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuG1D7ChuTR/
I won’t lie, I made this one. But honestly, Jordyn’s number one concern right now should be going into hiding. Kris can be pretty ruthless, so Jordyn should definitely be careful about going out in public. Should we check on her to make sure she’s ok?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuGxs4VnKSw/
This is Kylie’s Paris Hilton moment. I really need them to make a spin-off show to find her a new BFF, and I need to figure out how to get on that show. If this isn’t my ticket to fame, I don’t know what is. Kylie needs someone to take photos with that she’ll look hotter than, and I’m more than happy to fill that role.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuHGaFIHhmj/
If you’ve ever wanted a dirt cheap lip kit, now might be the time to strike. I love a good promo code, and “betrayal” fits the situation perfectly.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuFbKw4jbNH/
The devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder. The new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians is about to start, and they had started releasing trailers earlier this week. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if some of this sh*t was orchestrated on purpose. Only time will tell.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuFQpPsAxLU/
I love a good crossover moment, and Fyre Festival humor will never get old. Honestly, I would rather be stranded on an island in the Bahamas with no water than be Jordyn Woods right now.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuGyWVxFO6N/
Normally I hate being at work, but I’d rather work a 24-hour shift than be in Jordyn’s position right now. I’m really just grateful that this situation has given me plenty to talk about with my coworkers today.
Everyone immediately latched onto Khloé’s comment on Jordyn’s most recent Instagram post: “baby girl.” There are literally thousands of responses to this comment now, but my personal favorite is perhaps the cutting joke above, which initially appeared as a reply to Khloé’s initial comment.
Me to my boss: I’m sorry I can’t do any work today, I’ve got to follow this Jordyn/Tristan situation closely.
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) February 20, 2019
I’m not even exaggerating in the slightest when I care about this scandal more than I have ever cared about my paying, full-time job.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuGy2w5FrDR/
To sum this all up, literally what the f*ck.
These Jordyn and Tristan memes have been getting me through the day, and all I want is more information so I can continue to talk about it and look at more memes. This is the most exciting cultural moment that I’ve been a part of since the dueling Fyre Festival documentaries and Kylie Jenner’s surprise pregnancy. And the great part is, the mess is just beginning. Tristan Thompson reportedly “doesn’t care” that his relationship with Khloé Kardashian is over, according to sources who spoke to UsWeekly. Apparently, “He honestly doesn’t really care and was over it. He was never trying to win Khloé back.” F*cking ouch. The only thing that hurts worse than a breakup is finding out that your ex who completely screwed you over never really gave a sh*t about you to begin with. Good thing he decided to bring a child into this world with Khloé anyway! At this point, Khloé just needs to throw the whole man away and start over.
Meanwhile, the Kardashians are writing Jordyn off, according to E! sources, who are probably just Kris Jenner in a trench coat. I’m sure this mess will (thankfully) continue to develop, and I’ll be watching (and meming) closely.
Images: @dylanhafer, @taterth0tz, @betches, @whenshappyhr, @superficialtech, @lexniko, @colinjade, @hannahmlplanet / Instagram; betchesluvthis / Twitter
