Every time I get a notification from LinkedIn saying: “27 people noticed you!” I toss my hair back, do an evil laugh, and say aloud to no one, “Can you blame them?” When really all that means is a handful of people I either went to school with, slept with, or worked with (sometimes all three) were probably just doing some casual stalking to find out if I am, in fact, a GirlBoss CEO yet. (Sorry, still really more of a GirlMoss.)
While I don’t ever remember agreeing to be kept abreast of everyone’s employment situations so closely, LinkedIn notifications are still fascinating in their ability to share a tidbit of unsolicited personal or professional information about someone you may or may not have forgotten even existed. So when the app lets me know that “Ronald T. started a new job,” right after I say, “Who the fuck is Ronald?” I think, ohhhh, that makes sense: That One Guy From Your Internship Who Always Talked Over You in Meetings just started a new job at The Start-Up That Probably Only Has Men Making Decisions.
If LinkedIn notifications were a little more honest, here’s what they might look like…
