Quarantine Season 2: Weekend Horoscopes October 16-18

Finally, real fall weather has descended upon us. Time to play the game of “how long can I go before turning the heat on in the house?” It makes me feel daring and strong. It’s not really fall unless you wake up and need to wear three sweaters in your own home, right?

Anywho, the new Libra moon this weekend will have all of us feeling like we can get a bit of a fresh start. In that spirit, we should probably try and do something worthwhile, like going outside or buying a new pair of sweats for the winter session of quarantine.


A new moon means a fresh start, Libra, so use Friday to renew, refresh, and f*cking relax after the clusterf*ck that’s been this week. That means wine and a bubble bath, or pizza and Netflix—you do you. Saturday and Sunday are all about relationships, which could be really good or really volatile. Remember to take care of yourself AND other people, and don’t be afraid to confront issues. Things may go more smoothly than you think.


Let it goooooo, Scorpio. This week has brought some things to light that aren’t that chill, and you need to take the weekend to mentally let go of what’s holding you back, be it a dead-end job, toxic relationship, or sh*tty habit. The new moon gives you a great opportunity to step back and look at situations from above, so make an adult decision over a glass or two of wine and move on.


Time for some friendship time, Sagittarius. Friday night is a great chance for you to say “f*ck this” to work and head out for a socially distanced beer with your besties. Unwind, complain about your project to-do list, and listen to your friends tell you how great you are. Saturday and Sunday are for connecting with the friends and family you can’t be face-to-face with, so make time to talk to your mom, dad, or siblings about whatever it is they’re doing these days. And after all that, you can totally lock yourself in the bathroom for a long bath.



Are you working too much, Capricorn? Do you feel like you never really leave your job? This weekend presents a chance to really think about the hours you’re putting in at the ol’ 9-to-5. Like, is it worth it? Do you dread waking up and working? If so, it could be time to update your portfolio and resume and go on the hunt for something new. Or, it could be time to make a well-thought-out PowerPoint presentation about why you deserve a raise. Just sayin’.


Get out of town, Aquarius. If you can do so responsibly, you need to pack an overnight bag and get some change in your scenery this weekend. It doesn’t need to be somewhere way far away—just somewhere you can escape and take cute Instagram pics. If you have to stay put because of kids or dogs or whatever, make some time for yourself away from social media, your job, and your couch.


You’re feeling extra sexy this weekend, Pisces, so tackle your romantic partner and try something interesting in bed. If you’re single, it’s time to get back into the ol’ dating game and schedule a FaceTime or socially distanced and responsible date with someone new. The planets are making you super attractive, so use it to your advantage. If nothing else, maybe you’ll get free beer and dinner.


Focus on your relationships this weekend, Aries. Mercury may be an asshole and create a few stumbling blocks, but overall, it”ll be a great few days to communicate and cuddle. Try not to compare your partnership to others, though. It’ll just lead to stupid fights and sulking. Just remember to be yourself and stop trying to fit into a mold.


Clean your nest, Taurus. The new moon means you’ll feel totes ready to tackle all the house and apartment cleanup you’ve been putting off. It doesn’t mean you need to, like, scrub down baseboards. Just tidy the clothes littering your floor, dust your bookshelf, and donate some old books. By Sunday morning, you’ll feel minimalist and very on trend.


It’s a good weekend for romance, Gemini. The planets are pushing you to tell all your friends and fam about that guy you’ve been on a few dates with, if you feel things are promising. If you’re single, swipe through some potential serial killers love interests. They can’t all be bad, right? If you’re already committed, use Saturday for a date night at home with candles, a crappy rom-com, and your favorite takeout.


Embrace home this weekend, Cancer. Whether that means raking leaves as a workout, doing laundry, or just sinking into your couch, take the few days off as an opportunity to be one with your space. If you’re feeling a little on edge, be careful not to snap at those you share space with—even if their nagging is driving you up a wall.


All work and no play makes Leo a dull kid. So head outside and put the work sh*t aside this weekend. You can do the best of the basic bitch activities! Wearing scarves, picking pumpkins, grabbing a pumpkin spice latte, etc. are best done with a friend or two, so make plans for Saturday to enjoy the autumn air and not look at your phone for an hour. Sunday is ideal for grabbing brunch, then heading to a porch or patio for a little R&R.


Holla if you need a reset button on your credit card debt, Virgo! Good news: Friday kicks off with the planets helping your wallet, so take a hint and use the evening to balance your checkbook, or at least try to adhere to your budget for the weekend. Saturday presents an opportunity to shop online (responsibly) but also gives you a chance to get rid of some excess sh*t. Weed out your closet, kitchen, and garage, and donate the stuff you haven’t looked at in over a year.

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Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson