On October 15, we all tuned in for the non-live event of the month: the Love is Blind reunion. It’s been quite the season, and instead of multiple weddings, we got a lot of sus behavior, shady podcast interviews, too many American flags, a pilates lesson, Lydia’s wild facial expressions, and too many icks to count. I’m glad I created my Love is Blind red flag game early on in the season, as otherwise, it would’ve ended up as an 800-page manifesto by now.
It was perhaps one of the most unsuccessful seasons of Love is Blind in terms of romance, but the most successful in terms of memes and TikTok trends created from it. I think we can all safely conclude that no, love is not blind.
So let’s catch up with our Barbies, Kens, and… Alan (yeah, I’m talking about you, JP).
Milton and Lydia
I’m so glad that no betting shop would accept my wager on Milton and Lydia, as I would have lost what little money I have. Can you blame me? Who could have predicted that Mr. Can I Go Play Wii At My Friend’s House would end up being the most mature contestant this season?
There is no way that I could’ve known the competitive Pokemon player was not only going to make it down the aisle, but say “I do” without dabbing right after, and actually stay with his wife for the year and a half since.
But I am willing to admit when I’m wrong. So yes, Milton and Lydia are still going strong. They’re the only ones in the cast who have made it this far. They were a bundle of giggles and cuddles at the reunion, and his lanky frame was trying to cover Lydia’s constant risk of a nip slip in that ferocious dress.
When asked whether they have any contact with Uche, Milton revealed that Uche has contacted him several times but he hasn’t responded. The 24-year-old man is ghosting someone, big surprise. Lydia also received one message from Uche but has not replied.
I’m weirdly happy for this pair, and I hope they one day have kids so Milton can always have someone to play on the Wii with him.
Uche and Aaliyah
Speaking of Uche, he did not make an appearance at the reunion, despite Nick Lachey very subtly mentioning he had been invited. I guess he didn’t want a repeat of the BBQ, yikes. Aaliyah did swan in halfway through, looking like an absolute vision, and she held her own without spilling too much tea.
She confirmed she and Uche did date after the show, but that it was short-lived as she didn’t feel respected by him. Apparently, Uche told several friends that she wasn’t his type and what he considered attractive. Sir, do you have eyes?? Aaliyah, baby, good riddance to him then! Get some ghosting tips from Milton, the expert.
Aaliyah did confirm that she is happily off the market at the moment, in a committed relationship with a man she met on an R&B cruise. I kind of zoned out on anything she said after that, as did you know that those were a thing? Do you think they have Taylor Swift cruises too? I just doubt it would be as productive for dating as an R&B one, but I think it would cure my seasonal depression.
Is Uche in a new relationship? Don’t know and don’t really care. In the words of Ariana Grande and now Aaliyah, “thank you, next!”
Izzy and Stacy
The second couple to actually make it down the aisle, where we were faced with perhaps one of the most confusing weddings ever. Izzy said “I do,” Stacy smiled and said “I can’t,” and then the pair kissed. It had seemed like the couple would continue dating, but at the reunion, they revealed that after a week, they went on a date and the vibes were off. Well, if the vibes were off!
But a year later, they ran into each other in a bar with Stacy’s entire family, and Izzy was happy to kiss and tell! Unfortunately (or fortunately in some people’s opinions) things didn’t work out a second time either.
Will the third time be the charm? They don’t seem to think so, as they’re both seeing other people and have decided to just be friends. They even both accidentally ended up in the same couple’s cooking class with their new partners. How does that “accidentally” happen? I feel like Izzy made this happen.
Look, Stacy, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, hit me up if you’re down xoxo
Chris and Johnie
Johnie was quite the Goldilocks of the season, as she dumped Chris for Izzy, then got dumped by Izzy and quickly returned to Chris. The pair did not leave the pods engaged but surprised everyone at the BBQ (the infamous BBQ) when they arrived hand in hand. Johnie was quick to gush that he was officially her boyfriend. Fair enough, look at him, I’d also be quick to mention if that man had agreed to be my boyfriend.
Well, that was before I discovered that sweet, smiling Chris was actually a red flag in disguise! Johnie shared that he went away to a wedding, and didn’t get in touch upon return, and two weeks later she found out he was in a new relationship with someone he had hooked up with at the wedding. Successful wedding, but still, CHRIS! He clearly had gotten those ghosting tips from Milton and put them to good use. In the words of our Messiah, Tyra Banks, I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!
Johnie was able to laugh about it now but the rest of us were not laughing. Chris even had the audacity to grin about it. He confirmed that he and this mystery woman are still together and living happily ever after in their shared home.
As for Johnie, she decided to return to her Goldilocks ways, and went straight past ‘Go’ and returned to Izzy. The two hooked up at a cast meet-up at a bar, apparently sneaking off to his Jeep. Yep, his JEEP!! Vanessa was quick to check that Chris was also at the bar that night. Apparently, things didn’t progress further than that one romantic evening on the reclined seat and Johnie said she’s been seeing someone for a year now, but hey, they might end up in the same couple’s cooking class if Izzy has his way.
JP and Taylor
I left the best (and worst) for last. These two were brought in right at the end for the most anticlimactic confrontation of my life. Honestly, I’ve had bike rides that brought me more pleasure than this interaction.
In case you’ve forgotten (which I NEVER will), JP basically told Taylor she wears too much makeup, and Taylor rightfully ended their engagement. Well, he stands by his statement, claiming he just meant that she’s beautiful without makeup. I was so disappointed that none of the other women jumped in to tear this man down. Trust me, Taylor, if I was there, Milton would’ve had to pick me up and put me on his Time-Out Step.
Well, Taylor’s makeup looked gorgeous, she wore a revenge dress to rival Ariana’s, and she said her piece. She chose to forgive him, which is very big of her, but I’m still ready to ride at dawn if you are girlies. Taylor confirmed that she is casually dating someone and JP claims to be in a SUPER SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP OF ONE YEAR. I’m guessing it’s with the Statue of Liberty, as anyone else would require an actual conversation in all of that time.
All in all, I have bigger hopes for Love is Blind: UK as no one can fight like the Brits can.