The two things I love to hate on most, Kylie Jenner and influencer trips, converged over the weekend when Kylie Jenner posted pictures from her #kylieskinsummertrip. Oh boy *rubs hands together like Bird Man* this is going to get good. I know what you’re thinking (because I was already thinking it), and yes, Kylie Skin already launched, but this trip is to promote a few new products that are launching on July 22—namely, the BODY line. So, there is a reason for the Kylie Skin Summer Trip besides just Kylie Jenner being extra and flaunting her wealth (however flimsy that reason may be).
Me to me: Wait, but doesn’t Kim already have a perfume named Body?
Guess it doesn’t matter. Just goes to show you how original these so-called billionaires are. Anyway! In an Instagram post on Saturday, Kylie posted a video of the new products, writing in the caption, “This summer trio is all about B O D Y ✨ Coconut Body Lotion, Coconut Body Scrub, and our Broad Spectrum SPF 30 Sunscreen Oil. You will fall IN LOVE with these products launching July 22nd along with the restock of our first drop!”
My immediate impression of these products was twofold: one, this is some sparse packaging. Like, this looks like the kind of skin care your friends from high school try to hawk on Facebook for $300 a bottle. Two, the term “sunscreen oil” sounds misleading (is it sunscreen or is it tanning oil?), and I would not trust any type of sun protection from Kylie Jenner, a woman who is rocking a year-round tan. A tan is still skin damage, people!
But that’s not why we are here today, friends. We are here because instead of just dropping this sh*t on her website and Instagram or wherever, where it will likely sell out immediately anyway, Kylie Jenner orchestrated her own one-woman Revolve trip to promote these products. Just as fast-fashion apparel companies will invite a bunch of influencers to Turks and Caicos to promote their products, Kylie Jenner invited her friends also to Turks and Caicos to “celebrate” (read: promote) her launch. Along for the ride, according to PEOPLE, are her BFF Stassie Karanikolao (@stassiebaby), Sofia Richie, makeup artist Ariel Tejada, Kylie’s assistant, Victoria Villarroel, her photographer, Amber Asaly, and of course, Stormi.
As we know from the party Kylie threw for Stormi’s first birthday, when Kylie Jenner (or her event planner) put on an event, they put out all the stops. (Must be nice to have unlimited access and funds.) The party started on an actual private jet that Kylie had wrapped with the Kylie Skin logo and branding colors. Casual. There were also flight attendants decked out in matching outfits, in the Kylie Skin pink and white, to greet them at the end of a pink carpet. For Kylie’s sake, I hope those flight attendants were fake, because I’d be concerned that someone in a 1950s pinup wig and skintight dress might have some difficulties saving my life in the event of an emergency.
Everyone also got matching tie-dye sweatsuits, because apparently 2008 is back in a big way. And, it looks like, silk Kylie Skin pillowcases, eye masks, and scrunchies. Kylie also gave everyone a gift bag of Kylie Skin product, as well as pink clothes from Scott Disick’s clothing company. There are even personalized coconuts, but as a person who went to an event that had personalized coconuts, that’s not really that big of a deal. I’d reserve your jealousy for the free tropical vacay and trip on a private jet.
Kylie and friends are apparently staying at a gorgeous mansion with a pool—of course, I would expect nothing less. That brought about this Instagram:
“Hakuna matata”? Easy for you to say, Kylie. I would have no worries too if I was a billionaire.
Basically, this trip is ridiculous and ostentatious, but so is everything that Kylie Jenner does. I know everyone is freaking out about this trip, but I’m like, not that impressed. Not because I can even come close to affording any of this sh*t, but because this is pretty par for the course for Kylie. Honestly, given what we know she is capable of putting off, dare I say, it’s pretty tame? Aside from the wrapped PJ and the coconuts (which I looked up and are not really that expensive, at about $14 per coconut), there’s not that much that’s totally crazy. Yeah, they’re staying in a mansion, but they’d do that at Kylie’s house. I’m just waiting for some huge blowout bash where Kylie like, constructs a club in the shape of a sunscreen bottle (and if she does that, I will be hunting her down for a commission).
I don’t know how long this trip will last, but if you really care, you can follow the #kylieskinsummertrip hashtag on Instagram (but if you do really care that much, might I recommend seeking help?). You can also buy the Kylie BODY products when they launch on July 22. They probably won’t give you Kylie Jenner’s body, but they will give you a lame dad joke so you can tell people you have Kylie’s body—and that’s basically the same thing.
Images: kyliejenner / Instagram
