If you were doing anything last night other than staring at your phone, like partying or sleeping, you likely missed that Kylie Jenner threw a huge first birthday party for her daughter, Stormi. Before continuing any further, I’ll wait while you go through Kylie Jenner’s many Instagram story posts capturing the event in detail.
To be completely clear, the party looked insane. The theme was Stormi World, a riff on dad Travis Scott’s Grammy-nominated album, Astroworld. Guests entered through a giant blow-up tunnel made in the shape of Stormi’s head, just like the one on the cover of Travis’s album. Inside, Kylie spared no detail—there was a game of bean bag toss into Stormi’s mouth, a wall of lifesize teddy bear prizes, a giant indoor slide, a cake made in the shape of an ornate merry-go-round with moving parts. It was wild.
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Stormi’s party was amazing 😱😍 follow me @thecelebfame for more!!! • • • #kyliejenner #travisscott #stormi #kardashian #wow #stormiworld #newchallenge #neverfoldchallenge #worldstar #junglechallenge #howcouldyouplaymechallenge #fromtimechallenge #loveyourzchallenge #letter2youchallenge #thevoice #tentoesdownchallenge #tentoesdown #tentoeschallenge #10td #10toesdown #10toeschallenge #10toesdownchallenge #sosickchallenge #sogonechallenge #makeitviral #sadraps #sadvideos #explore #explorepage
Not surprisingly, the event was star-studded: in Kylie’s stories alone, I noted appearances from DJ Khaled and Baby Shark (yes I’m looping Baby Shark in as a celeb, welcome to 2019), and I’m sure there will be many follow-up articles on the internet of the other celebrities in attendance. Because it’s not enough to be dealing with regular FOMO on a Sunday morning, now we have to grapple with a unique brand of Stormi World FOMO.
Stormi World looked amazing. I’m sure it was a hundred times more expensive than my wedding will be. I was fully prepared to just meme some of the moments (someone throwing bean bags into Stormi’s mouth = my friends encouraging me to skip my diet) and move on with my life, and then I got to this slide:
And that just annoyed me. Of course, the idea of throwing a party simply for social media is nothing new—I’m convinced destination bachelorette parties exist solely for this reason—but it bothered me that Kylie should even care if her daughter’s first birthday is trending or not. First of all, of course Stormi World would be trending. Stormi could take her first shit and it would be trending. She’s easily the most famous one-year-old in the country right now. It should not come as a surprise to anyone—least of all Kylie Jenner, a superstar with 126 million Instagram followers—that people on social media would be talking about this party. But more accurately, why does Kylie care? And why does the fact that Stormi World is trending bring her joy? It’s a little weird when you think about it.
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Wow that’s amazing 😱 follow me @thecelebfame for more!!! • • • #kyliejenner #travisscott #stormi #kardashian #wow #stormiworld #newchallenge #neverfoldchallenge #worldstar #junglechallenge #howcouldyouplaymechallenge #fromtimechallenge #loveyourzchallenge #letter2youchallenge #thevoice #tentoesdownchallenge #tentoesdown #tentoeschallenge #10td #10toesdown #10toeschallenge #10toesdownchallenge #sosickchallenge #sogonechallenge #makeitviral #sadraps #sadvideos #explore #explorepage
It’s kind of funny to picture Kylie Jenner checking Twitter’s trending topics to see if she made it. But also, it feels silly for her to be happy that random people she will never meet are talking about her daughter’s first birthday party. Yes, she threw an amazing party, which she should be proud of—I’m sure a ton of time and effort went into it. But it’s an interesting power play, to delight in your fans’ FOMO. Then again, at the heart, FOMO is what keeps Kylie Jenner—and most celebrities—relevant nowadays. We envy her huge mansion, so we read about it in Architectural Digest. We regret that we weren’t present at Stormi World, so we post about and meme it. We want her lips, so we buy her lip kits. It’s nothing new.
And, to be fair to Kylie, we all humble brag on Instagram. Who among us has never posted an IG story of their night out just so someone will see it and regret what they’re missing? It’s you panning to all the cute guys in the bar so your FWB will consider the possibility of you hooking up with someone else, on a much larger scale. Sure, I don’t follow up my smug IG stories with a post screenshotting how many salty DMs I got. But if I knew the whole world was watching, would I be able to resist being a little bit of an asshole?