Image Credit: Getty Images

Kourtney Kardashian’s *Leaked* Baby Registry Obviously Includes Placenta Smoothies

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker announced the sex of their forthcoming offspring (it’s indeed a little drummer boy!) in a tasteful, no frills reveal — zero wildfires were caused by their antics, and for that, we celebrate them. 

Now that the cat is out of the bag, Kourt is full steam ahead on creating her canonically Pooshy baby registry. She generously sent us a sneak peek (I guess she’s not bitter about coming in last in all of our power rankings), so if you happen to have an extra $85,000 floating around for a platinum pacifier, reach out to Simon for next steps on sending your love.

FYI, before you lose your shit and run to Buy Buy Baby, this is a parody. But you can still send any diamond-encrusted baby products our way and we’ll pawn them off to buy a new office Keurig.



Emma Sharpe
Emma Sharpe
Emma Sharpe is a New York based writer and marketer. She's a Kardashian apologist and finds a Survivor metaphor for every life situation. You can find more of her pop culture ramblings at