It's Pumpkin Spice SZN: Weekend Horoscopes Sept 13-15

It’s almost pumpkin spice season, bitches. Whether or not you are a Labor Day denier, our days at the beach are numbered. The weather is finally transitioning away from being hot as balls to actually livable as we start shifting our focus from skimpy bikinis to skimpy Halloween costumes! Schools are in session and Summer Fridays are a long-forgotten memory. Before we know it, Thanksgiving will be stuffing our bellies, Christmas will be robbing our wallets, and New Years will be convincing us that this is the year we become a gym person. While the cold-weather holidays bring about self-reflection and solitude for some, others are holding onto summertime festivities until the last possible second. No matter your season transition traditions, the planets and stars have their own agenda. Luckily, they aren’t totally f*cking up our weekend and most of us are destined for organizing our houses, spending time with friends, and relaxing in some comfy lounge pants. Let’s dive in, shall we?


To relax or to go balls to the f*cking wall, amirite, Virgo? You’re going to feel super conflicted all weekend and will fight with yourself about staying in and eating a million Pizza Bites or getting a head start on that giant work project. Jupiter is pushing you to focus on home and family, though, so don’t feel too guilty if you want to stay close to the couch and your snuggle buddies.


Show everyone some love, Libra. It’s a great weekend to pay it forward and tell all the people that mean the most to you that they’re super important. Buy them candy and wine to show your appreciation. You’ll also be feeling extra creative come Saturday and Sunday, so sign up for one of those classes where you chug wine and sketch landscapes or whatever.


Spark joy, Scorpio, and get rid of your old, unwanted sh*t! Target Sunday to get your inner Marie Kondo on, cleaning-wise, but Friday and Saturday should be focused on some quality time with friends. You’ve got Mars, the sun, Mercury, and Venus all in your social gatherings house, so the planets and stars are aligned for you and your posse to soak up some awesomeness.


Time for a passion project, Sagittarius. If you’ve needed the extra push to redecorate your apartment, open that Etsy store, or take up watercolor painting Bob Ross style. This is the weekend to do it. Don’t be afraid to rope friends in, too. I mean, maybe Jane’s misguided love of crappy art is actually creativity waiting to support your own.


You’ve earned a goddamn break this weekend, Capricorn. Between running around all week and being emotionally exhausted and #done with hot weather, it’s time to turn down the AC and pretend it’s like, actually winter outside. Solitude is welcome on Saturday, so don’t feel weird if you want to grab brunch on your own. It’s totally chill and you’ll feel like a strong, independent person while doing it.


You’re like, really fun this weekend, Aquarius. Basically, Mercury and Venus are teaming up to bring good times (and, potentially, romance) to your front door come Friday. Needless to say, this is not the time to stay inside and binge watch Game of Thrones for the fourth time. Head out Friday night and introduce yourself to strangers (in a non-weird way). Saturday and Sunday are both great days to get out of the city and do some exploring. All good vibes.


Don’t be such a f*cking baby, Pisces. The moon is causing you to feel super sensitive, so try to take everything in stride. Avoid people who trigger your worst feelings and impulses, and surround yourself with chill vibes at the beach (probs one of the last weekends to enjoy that sh*t) or a stroll through a quiet art museum on Saturday. Try out a new recipe at home on Sunday and enjoy some much needed peace and quiet around the house.


Shut down your work email, Aries. It’s been a stressful week, and surrounding yourself with projects and work-related questions all weekend isn’t going to make it any better. Give yourself a break. Friday night is a great time to get together with friends you haven’t seen in awhile and Saturday is prime for strolling an outdoor garden or heading out on a hike – sans cell phone. Get in touch with your inner, appreciative self, fam.


Tell everyone how sparkly and special they are to you, Taurus. Make yourself available to friends and family all weekend long, especially in the form of couch snuggles and food. Cook a delicious dinner (or, like, heat up a frozen pizza) for someone you love, or head out on the town for something classy like a wine tasting. Just show those important folks that you appreciate them and take the focus off of yourself this weekend.


Be a f*cking social butterfly, Gemini. It’s a great weekend to let your inner performance artist shine, so head out for karaoke and embarrass yourself on Friday. Saturday is a great day to tell someone you’ve been crushing on how you really feel, so it could, potentially, be a weekend FULL of embarrassment for you, Gemini! So fun.


Enjoy an easy, breezy weekend, Cancer. Saturday and Sunday are prime time to spend with your girls, especially if you need some advice or betchy guidance (which I assume, is like, always).


Clean your sh*t up, Leo. It’s a stellar weekend to de-clutter your life, so lock yourself inside and get rid of the Live, Laugh, Love poster you’ve hung on to since college. If you really concentrate on only the items that spark joy, you’ll head into next week feeling light and clear headed … unless you’re hungover, which can happen when you get organizing.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson