Okay, I have a new obsession: celebrity men holding coffee. Or, err, going on coffee runs, trying to drink coffee, standing next to a coffee cup. It’s fascinating. We all know Ben Affleck is the king of coffee, but did you know there are a LOT of other celebrity men who also have no idea how to hold a fucking cup?
I think part of my fascination is seeing celebrities — aka very rich, hot men — doing mundane everyday tasks. Like, I thought rushing to your local Starbucks with your bag falling off your arm and your pants falling down at 8:55 a.m. to try to get a grande iced coffee before your 9-5 was only something we did. (We, as in normal-ass people, who don’t star in movies or own a fucking mansion, lol.) Do celebrities mow the lawn, order takeout, and take out the garbage, too?!?!??!?!
Below, find several photos of celebrity men with coffee that will make you scratch your head, or question why this person wearing clothes that don’t fit and slippers in broad daylight is more famous than you.
Oh, speak of the devil. Can someone explain to me what the fuck I’m looking at? Is this a pap pic or an optical illusion? Does Justin have three arms or am I high? I’m mostly just confused why he couldn’t just put his goddamn arm in the hole where it’s supposed to go but w/e, glad you got your morning coffee, babe. 2/10.
Aw, our king!! At least he’s not spilling it in the backseat of his car or trying to carry three at once like usual. Is it just me or does he look a little tense here? Benny boy, you need a massage after you drink up! 4/10.
I have not thought about A-Rod since he and J.Lo split but TBH, this is an entire mood. I would actually wear this ‘fit so I’m gonna give this a 10/10. No notes.
Jeremy Allen White
Honestly, 8/10. He’s not even touching it but IDC — he looks hot.
Six points for holding two at once and three points for making me wish I was that coffee cup, so a total of 9/10.
Look at Joe with his little cup holder swinging in the wind! It’s so cute. I’d give a 7/10 but deducting a point because of his breakup from Sophie Turner. (I know that has legit nothing to do with this photo but shut up, I don’t make the rules.)
1/10 because I’m bored. Nick, you make millions, you look too normal. My two biggest critiques are 1) you forgot your sunglasses and 2) you’re holding it by THE LID? Ok, risk-taker.
WHO HURT THIS MAN?? He looks like he’s about to crumple that coffee cup in the palm of his hand like the fucking Hulk. David, blink twice if you aren’t okay!! We are here for you, boo! 3/10 because I’m scared.
Why is he so cool? It’s annoying. I will give you a 9/10 because of that Louis Vuitton cup but deducting one point because I’m jealous.
He can do more than just dance!!! He can balance coffee cups like a pro. Fine, he gets 8/10 for not spilling it but also ’cause that iced matcha latte looks GOOD.
Another ‘fit I would absolutely wear but I don’t understand why there is no lid on that cup??? It’s a danger to the whole look. 4/10.
Joe Jonas (Part 2)
WHO PUT THIS MAN IN HERE AGAIN? 1/10 because that laptop is 100 percent gonna break if he doesn’t get his shit together. Hope you have AppleCare.
5/10 because I am impressed by the fact there are ZERO spills after he rushed out of his car with it. We love to see coordination!
Another double stacker. Wow, men are SOOOOO strong. 3/10 for lack of creativity.
An entire mood. This is legit me being asked to do anything at my FT job Monday-Friday. Colin just gets it. 9/10.