45 Things Sophie Turner *Might've* Said On That Ring Camera

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s divorce was confirmed on Wednesday, September 6 via an Instagram statement from the couple, stating: “After four wonderful years of marriage we have mutually decided to amicably end our marriage. There are many speculative narratives as to why but, truly this is a united decision and we sincerely hope that everyone can respect our wishes for privacy for us and our children”

Within a few hours, TMZ posted a story about their divorce, with the headline “Joe Jonas Filed for Divorce After Allegedly Catching Sophie Turner on Ring Camera.” Hm, kind of goes against the whole no more speculative narratives and respecting their privacy thing, but kk. Naturally, that prompted everyone to collectively try and guess what Sophie could possibly have done or said that would justify a split. Here are 45 options that would 1000000% warrant divorce. 

1. “I cannot go to another damn concert.”
2. “Camp Rock was a flop.”
3. “What do you mean he pooped his pants on stage?”
4. *Nick’s solo album blares from the speakers*
5. “Drinking on a Jumbotron is the only thing that brings me joy.” 
6. “Wait, he told the public that he pooped his pants on stage?”
7. “He’s just short, stop with the short king.”
8. “Alexa, play One Direction.”
9. “I wish Frankie never showed Joe how to work TikTok.”
10. “I was always more of a Nick girl.” 
11. “Taylor Swift is the lucky one.”
12. “Is Harry Styles single?” 
13. “Life was better with Little Finger.” 
14. “I wish Joe would stop wearing tank tops.”
15. “Would Joe notice if I burned all his skinny jeans?”
16. “Joe is nothing like Freddy Mercury.” 
17. “Should I tell him his Botox has gone too far?”
18. “Why do Taylor Lautner and his rando wife get to go onstage at the Eras Tour?”
19. “I wish Joe, Nick, and Kevin were more like the Richards sisters. I could use a break.” 
20. “New Jersey sucks.” 
21. “Penn State sucks.” 
22. “Miami sucks.” 
23. “I refuse to be the Queen of North Jersey.”
24. “I miss Nickelodeon.” 
25. “I refuse to film one more TikTok.” 
26. “Did Claim to Fame get canceled yet?” 
27. “Maybe I should produce a Married To Jonas revival.”
28. “I wish I could’ve fully cut Diplo out of our lives.” 
29. “The ‘What A Man Got To Do’ music video dance was so bad.” 
30. “Nick and Priyanka’s wedding was way cooler than mine.”
31. “Joe said he cried after Nick got the spot on The Voice… I’m mortified.” 
32. “‘Jealous’ is low-key about Joe and Nick.”
33. “I hate Halloween.”
34. “Hi, this is Sophie Turner. I’m looking into getting my husband dance lessons.”
35. “Was Camp Rock 2 made as, like, charity or something?”
36. “Honestly, I can’t believe Jonas got a second season.”
37. “I really, really, really don’t want to go to the VMAs ever again.”
38. “There really should be an A in D.N.C.E.”
39. “Skinny ties give me the ick.”
40. “Thick eyebrows give me the ick.”
41. “I’m married to the fourth hottest Jonas Brother.” 
42. “Cigars don’t make anyone look cool.”
43. “Why does one person need so many pairs of colored lens sunglasses?” 
44. “I wish Taylor wrote, like, a good song about Joe.” 
45. “God, Nick’s voice is so good.”