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Protect These Celebrity Couples In 2024 At All Costs

Another year, another chance for your favorite celebrity couple to break up. If we learned anything from 2023, it’s that love is very much dead and there’s no hope for any of us to find our soulmate. (Sorry, I know it’s dramatic but true.) 2023 was the year of celebrity splits (with about two-thirds of them happening just in the summertime) so IDK!! Maybe we can be hopeful and say the worst is behind us. But I’d like to be realistic and prepare for the worst.

The worst in my opinion? Zendaya and Tom Holland. Please protect them at ALL costs. They’re pretty much my number one celebrity couple after Brenda Song and Macaulay Culkin.

Since it’s only been, like, 25 minutes since 2024 started, let’s start by placing bets on some of our favorite couples and the chances of them splitting in the new year. (Don’t worry, we’ll update this list once people actually start breaking up lol..)

Which Celebrity Couples Will Break Up In 2024? Our Predictions:

Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce

TBH, I think they’re in it for the long haul! Taylor hasn’t kissed anyone on the lips in public like that in a LONGGG time. I actually don’t think they will break up this year but if they do, uh, at least we’ll get a sick album from it??? 

Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet

Yes, 100 percent, they’ve got three months left. Mark my words, they will not make it to 2025. It was fun while it lasted!

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck

Eh, like, it’s not OUT of the question. 

Zendaya and Tom Holland

Nah, not gonna happen. Next. 

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds

Hard no. These two are so in love and I think the real deal. This would be the most devastating split to happen since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt

Rita Ora and Taika Waititi

They were friends for years before they got married, so I think they’re solid. Nothing to worry about here. 

Beyoncé and Jay-Z

Don’t even kid. This just isn’t a possibility. 

Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox

They’re doomed. If you drink my blood, I’m dumping your ass.

Rihanna and A$AP Rocky

They’re raising cute babies and giggling on red carpets, they’re fine. Do not stress.

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski

PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS. It’s actually sick that they are even on this list. Who is writing this shit??? 

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

I’m not trying to start drama, but this wouldn’t surprise me. I have no other details or source information, I am exclusively basing this off of their TMI red carpet pics. 

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. 

I’d riot. Burn the house down. This is almost as bad as Zendaya and Tom. 

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker

Okay I know they are in love and prob never breaking up, but you’ve got to admit, this one would be juicy.

Brenda Song and Macaulay Culkin

MY PRESIDENTS!!! Did you NOT just see them at his Hollywood Walk of Fame??? Get out, they’re good.

Victoria and David Beckham

No chance. They’re in it ’til the end.

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco

DON’T COME FOR ME BUT YOU KNOW IT’S GONNA BE OVER BY MARCH!

Ariana And SpongeBob

They’re done in 2024. Sorry, they just couldn’t make their love work in a pineapple under the sea. 

Guess we’ll have to wait and see!!!!

Katie Corvino
Katie Corvino
Katie Corvino (she/her) is the VP of Editorial at Betches. She first gained recognition after wearing a thong on her head at Coachella in the name of fashion. She's also known very well in the medical space as her therapist's favorite patient. If you are reading this, Leslie, she is fine. Her crippling anxiety is gone. She is cured and totally OK.