Bring On The Cuffing Season: Weekly Horoscopes November 16-20

Feeling the sudden urge settle down with that special someone (or just like, anyone) and watch every episode of The Crown while eating pie? Welcome to cuffing season. This week Venus heads into Scorpio, amping up both your sex drive and your desire to put a ring on it. A dangerous combination. Proceed with caution.


You’ve been low-key conducting a survey of singles in your area, and you may have settled on a match! This week, you may feel the urge to make the first move with someone you’ve been on the fence about, or go deeper with the one you’ve got. Nothing like impending pandemic holidays to make you realize what’s important in life (someone to bang and complain with).


What is the difference between good sex and great sex? You’re about to find out—if you dare. With Venus taking the plunge into Scorpio, you’re taking the plunge into…actually I’m not gonna finish that metaphor. Just make sure your vibrator is charged and try to keep it down for the neighbors.


Lights, camera, Gemini! This week, you are the center of attention and star of whatever six-foot-apart-socially-distanced outdoor circle you’re in. Congrats! Enjoy the spotlight and try not to forget all the little people who made this possible by liking and commenting on your latest thirst trap. You did this together.


You’re feeling yourself this week, Cancer, and you’re not afraid to let the world know. Dramatic mirror selfies, thirst traps, and NSFW posts to the Close Friends tab are all in your future, and if you have a partner, there’s a good chance they won’t be able to keep their hands off you. It’s not easy being beautiful.


Venus in Scorpio has sent your standards through the roof, and my condolences to anyone who fails to meet them. On the one hand, it means you have zero tolerance for for f*ckboy nonsense, which is always a good thing. On the other hand, you might end up going off on your partner for not being engaged during your amaaaazing story about the grocery store.


Still trying to figure out your current situationship? Forget it. This week Venus in Scorpio has you feeling indecisive AF, meaning you may find yourself building a bubble gum shrine to someone one moment, then leaving them on read the next. Just do your best not to be a complete a**hole, k?


Well, well, well, if it isn’t the whole world sliding into your DMs. This week you can’t help but attract admirers of all stripes while Venus rounds out its stay in your sign and heads into Scorpio at the end of the week. And to think all you had to do was post a pic with semi-decent lighting. Is this what it’s like to be an influencer?


Feeling social? In 2020? And they said it couldn’t be done. This week Venus has you feeling the urge to converge with your fellow man, but how to achieve this in a way that doesn’t spread a deadly disease? Grab your cutest mask, find the nearest outdoor space, and enjoy the pleasure of shouting at your besties from six feet away. When life gives you highly infectious lemons…


Time to establish some boundaries, Sagittarius, and fast. Whether it be an aunt who is refusing to accept that you’re not coming to her 100 person Thanksgiving this year, or a creeper who replies to all of your stories with a fire emoji, now is the time to set the record straight. Unless you want to spend the next month terrified of your notifications tab.


You know the saying: all work and no play makes Capricorn a boring bitch. Or something like that. This week the universe is asking you to let loose and live a little, before plunging yourself 100% into your plan “single handedly save the holidays.” You’ll need your strength.


Feeling like you’re kind of in a rut? Get ready to bust out of that this week when your desire to do something out of the ordinary will finally overtake your hatred of leaving the house when it’s cold. Go with the flow this week and allow yourself to try something new. Worst case scenario you get a couple good IG posts out of the deal.


Venus in Scorpio has you feeling flirty and free this week, so don’t let all that charm go to waste. Now is the perfect chance to take a chance with someone new, or make the first move with someone you’ve had your eye on for a while. You’re basically like the red dancing lady emoji come to life.

Images: / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.