Thanks to a miraculous breakthrough of science, we now have alcoholic seltzer. Low calories, low to zero sugar, bubbles cause we’re so fun, and lots of alcohol make these a FANTASTIC choice for sippin’ at the pool, beach, or on your couch while wearing sweatpants and canceling plans. There are a shitload of alcoholic bubblies out there, but we narrowed down the five best spiked seltzers so you can get your drank on without being required to wear a larger size in pants. Bless.
Holy tap-dancing Jesus. One of our vodkas from our college years has made the leap to spiked seltzers. And they’re DELICIOUS. Though Svedka’s spiked line offers a few flavors, the cucumber basil is the crowd fav. It doesn’t taste artificial at all, has a nice chill summer balance, and can still get you fucked up after a few cans. Praise be.
This gluten-free spiked seltzer is sure to become a favorite of white people everywhere. The best part of the Truly line, which has been around for a bit now, is all the varieties. Pomegranate is like, probs the best, but Sicilian blood orange, pomelo, lemon and yuzu, and other bougie flavors make this the LaCroix of spiked seltzers. Fight me.
Henry’s Hard is like, probs one of the OG hard sodas out there. Obv, they got the message that betches want calorie-free alcohol that doesn’t taste like dick, and they branched into the wide world of spiked seltzers. You only have a choice of a few flavors—none of which are mind-blowing. However, they work REALLY well if you use them as a mixer with like, juice … or more alcohol, idk. Also, at only 88 calories per can, you can drink a lot before feeling bad about it.
4. White Claw
When my cousin first bought me a pack of this so we could get white girl wasted while lying on pool floaties, I was ready to get my white trash on. However, this gluten-free, higher calorie spiked seltzer is actually super decent on alcohol and probably the best on taste. It tastes less like an 18-year-old’s first foray into alcohol, and more like something I can drink while playing bridge or joining a book club. I’m a classy lady, god damn it!
Alright—let’s break this down. SpikedSeltzer has 140 calories per can, but 6% ABV…so worth it? This is the can that’ll get you super drunk, super fast, so if that’s the goal, go for it. The biggest downside to these is that they’re really kind of sweet, and the higher sugar content may give you a worse hangover.
We’re praying for the day LaCroix becomes alcoholic. JUST SAYING LACROIX PEOPLE YOU’D MAKE SO MUCH MONEY PLEASE HIRE ME TO RAMP THIS UP FOR YOU BYE.
Images: Giphy, Walmart (4)