By now, I’m assuming that you’ve heard of The Rizzler. And if you haven’t, you really need to up your screen time; this is embarrassing. Stop reading books and seeing friends and start clocking in some hours on our favorite clock app. The Rizzler is a seven-year-old named Christian from New Jersey who has stolen our hearts with his boisterous personality and endearing charisma. And that’s coming from me, someone who doesn’t like kids.
But we all know The Rizzler by now, so instead, I want to focus on the man behind the camera because The Rizzler is actually a duo, although it’s easy to focus on the cutie and forget the producer (don’t I know it). Today, we’re going to answer the age-old question: who is The Rizzler’s dad? And is he single? (Asking for a friend).
Introducing The Rizzler’s dad
I was going to phrase it as “the sperm behind The Rizzler,” but I realized that would be a gross heading… so I made it the opening sentence instead (very demure, very mindful). So, obviously, Christian has parents. Sorry, AI hasn’t evolved that far. His dad seems to be in charge of all his social media pages, as he can be heard speaking off-camera. Once in a while. He even joins in on skits or videos. And it only confirmed The Rizzler is his complete mini-me. No second parent has been mentioned, although we have seen his little brother occasionally.
@itztherizzler Rizz Approved‼️#fyp #fatherson #viral #fun #rizz #family #dance ♬ original sound – The Powerchild Clips
An example of father-son time is their Crumbl cookies review, which is just so fucking cute — sorry for swearing around the kids. Christian and Dad are trying different Crumble cookies and discussing their opinions, giving ratings to each. We learn that Dad is a harsher reviewer and a big fan of funfetti cake. They have such great energy and just seem like two pals hanging out. It’s so cliche-sponsored that I love it, and I immediately started craving it myself.
But despite knowing his face, voice, and opinion on cookies, we have yet to discover his name!! Who is the Rizzler’s Dad? And is he willing to do an exclusive interview with me?
Wait… AJ isn’t The Rizzler’s dad?
A common misconception! The Rizzler is, in fact, not related to Big Justice and A.J. in the slightest. Instead, he is supposedly just friends with them. Also known as they partner together on social media to get more views *cough Mormon Momtok*. A.J. is an amateur wrestler who makes TikTok videos with his son, Eric, and they’re often known as The Costco Guys for their hilarious ratings of Costco items. For example, products strive to earn an explosive “BOOM” or the more elusive “BIG BOOM.” But sadly, they can’t all be “BOOM,” and some products are rendered “Not so bomb” — I’m a serious journalist, mom. They even have a popular song about how they “bring the boom.” Warning: listen to it at your own peril.
People only grew more confused at the family tree when Big Justice, A.J., and The Rizzler made an appearance on Jimmy Fallon. Many also critiqued Jimmy for seeming put off by his own guests, saying that he was the one who invited them. Psh! As if he did it himself. Obviously, someone’s assistant’s assistant’s intern did that. Anyway, much to my chagrin, The Rizzler’s Dad seemingly didn’t make the guest list.
Welcome to the Costco Universe
@eric.justice.befumo @ItzTheRizzler features on Bring the Boom #brainrot #ajandbigjustice #costcoguys #fyp #bigjustice @A.J. & Big Justice ♬ original sound – The Powerchild Clips
But don’t fret! Papa has his own moniker in the Costco Universe! He is known as Uncle Savasta. This may seem weird, and it is, but only a regular level of weirdness. Everyone in this social media family has a cute little nickname, kind of like the Sylvanian Family. There’s Cousin Angelo and Cousin Oliver, who seem to always be on reserve in case no one better can film. MBJ, a.k.a Mother of Big Justice, often joins in for some fun. There’s also their daughter, Ashley, who is known as… Ashley. Can someone check on her?
Every member of the Cosco Extended Universe gets their own added verse in the soundtrack “We Bring the Boom” — take notes, Marvel. My favorite is The Rizzler’s, where he astutely points out that he, A.J., and Big Justice are like “the three evolutions of a Pokemon.” He’s not wrong! Someone give that copywriter a raise.
And Rizzler’s Dad has a verse, too!!! “I’m the father of the Rizzler; call me Uncle Savasta. I bring the Boom with meatballs and braciole and pasta. We’re climbing up the ladder, always having a good time, and when this song goes down, we’ll be saving you from crime!”
Yeah, you will, daddy. No, excuse me while I go listen to this song on repeat for five hours.
