I have a bit of a reputation for being a filthy smut reader. It’s a hard-earned reputation that I’m rather quite proud of. But despite this achievement, I feel the need to come clean and admit that from time to time, I actually enjoy a nonfiction book. Please don’t hold it against me; I swear I’m not one of those people who look down on fiction or have Sapiens on my bookshelf. I’m very selective in my nonfiction books, far more than with my smutty fantasy picks. Once in a while, good nonfiction books can really scratch that itch in your brain and be a great conversation starter with the people in your life. It’s a fun excuse to gossip with your bestie because all this shit is real. But before you rush off to whatever celeb memoir is being shoved down our throats, check out the best nonfiction books that are perfect for book club or just yapping about later.
Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn
Initially, I bought this book for my sister’s birthday and didn’t intend to read it myself. But she loved it so much that I borrowed my own gift to try it. As a single girlie with no intentions of settling down (I, too, can’t be tamed, Miley), a book on love just didn’t seem relevant to me. But while Natasha explores falling in love, parenthood, and marriage, she also looks at other forms of love. Through essays and interviews with famous writers, she considers the love found in friendship, sex, grief, and being alone. It was a gentle book that gave me so much to think about, and I often find myself returning to the ideas raised — especially when I should be working, like right now. This is one of the best nonfiction books to gift someone, especially if you’ve left things too late and have started to panic, as it can apply to literally anyone! Even serial killers have parents!
First Love: Essays on Friendship by Lilly Dancyger
More about friends!!! I’ve almost forgotten all the boys I kissed in high school (kissing girls came a bit later), but I could spend hours telling you about my best friends at the time. I am the person I am because of all the wonderful women who shared their lives with me. Some of them I don’t speak to anymore, but I think of them when I see a sausage dog or when someone brings up how hot teenage Kovu is from Lion King 2. This collection of essays treats women’s friendships like the love stories they are. It explores the intensity of adolescent friendships, the beauty of chosen family, and everything in between. All I wanted after reading it was to hug my bestie, even though we’re not huggers, so she would probably punch me in the face.
Being Bad by Arielle Egozi
I hate LinkedIn. I find it so pretentious, and I refuse to play along. I think our profiles should reflect who we are, and for Arielle, that was listing their time as a sex worker. This simple choice turned out not to be simple at all, as people went fucking nuts about it. Arielle is ready to talk about it and so much more in this book about sex, relationships, and identity. With chapters like Bad Slut, Bad Queer, and Bad Domme, you are going to be hooked quickly. Brat Summer never needs to end with the right tips from Arielle.
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
Any day now, I’m going to receive a restraining order from Dolly Alderton. I’m like that scene in Mean Girls where she word vomits, but it’s actually vomit. Only my word vomit is about this incredible writer. This is the book that started my one-sided love affair with Dolly Alderton. I received it at twenty-one, shortly after my father passed away, with a scrawled inscription from a friend. I read it within two days and fell in love with what I can only describe as the memoir of a real girl. I felt more seen by Dolly than most of my friends. Her grief mirrored my own; her doubt was as familiar as the negative voice in my head, and her jokes made a difficult time easier. I read this book every single year, and I take something new out of it. While I used to enjoy the relatable confessions about MSN relationships, now I feel seen in the conversations about friends getting engaged or pregnant and that strange feeling of being left behind.
Kinky History by Esmé Louise James
I love talking about sex way more than actually having it myself — oops, blasting my previous sexual partners there, sorry guys! If you’re in a restaurant and the girlies at the table next to you are loudly discussing rimming, spanking, or sex parties, there is a 70% chance it’s me. Especially if overpriced coffee is involved, this book feels like those fun conversations where everyone suddenly opens up, and you learn exactly how your best friend’s boyfriend likes to have his balls tickled to finish. Welcome to the history of kinky sex, including the dirty little secrets of famous people such as Julius Caesar, James Joyce, Albert Einstein, and Virginia Woolf. Learning about the weird and wonderful spectrum of human sexuality and experience can help us to feel less ashamed of our own sexual desires and needs and better at those frappucino-fuelled conversations about tickling.
Will I Ever Have Sex Again? by Sofie Hagen
Lol, not me outing myself in articles again, but oh well. You might not immediately recognize her name, but I guarantee you’ve heard of her work. Sofie Hagen is a comedian and co-founder of The Guilty Feminist podcast. At the time of writing this book, she hadn’t had sex in 3,000 days (and counting). This is a book about not having sex and all the reasons around it. This is for late bloomers, for people exploring their sexuality late in life and feeling like a virgin again, for people carrying sexual trauma, and for people who just don’t really crave sex. It was a fascinating book that felt like those conversations you have at 2 am after a bottle of wine and too many bowls of crisps, barely holding your head up on the couch. Sofie spoke to experts, therapists, sex workers, porn stars, comedians, and public figures, and I hope to be interviewed for the follow-up!!
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
I’m a yapper, so it can come as a surprise to people to learn that I’m an introvert at heart. I know; I’m hilarious and witty and chatty and stunning and all the rest of it. But I will always choose staying home with Netflix over seeing people, I hate any group occasions, and I am plagued by social anxiety. I’m kind of a loner lol, and I used to hate myself for it until I read this incredible nonfiction book. Susan showed me that introverts aren’t the lesser group. We’ve just been led to feel that way. There are so many superpowers (UGH CORNY) to being an introvert and so many ways we can harmoniously co-exist with our loud extroverts. Whether you’re an introvert or just want to understand your loved ones better, this is such a fascinating book. It also will make you look super intellectual. Plus, it’s a great gift for your quieter, less social besties to show how much you accept them for who they are!!
Superfan: How Pop Culture Broke My Heart by Jen Sookfong Lee
I fucking love pop culture, as you can likely tell by now. I love scrolling Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. I love sending my sister’s voice notes dissecting the latest episodes of Love Is Blind. I love getting into heated debates with my friends about Taylor Swift’s moral obligations or at what point Marvel movies turned trash. This is a memoir all about pop culture, but unlike my unbridled yapping, Jen uses it as a lens to explore family, identity, belonging, grief, and the power of female rage. She explores what it’s like to be an Asian woman, single mother, and writer in a context of pop culture that doesn’t mirror her. There’s an intimacy to fandoms, and Jen explores it beautifully as she eulogizes our collective obsessions.
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
I am not really much of a traditional memoir girlie, but I was curious about this book from the moment I saw it. Obviously, I remember Jennette from her Nickelodeon days, but I never came close to realizing how much lay under the surface of her bright smile on the screen. This is a tough book to read, but it is also the easiest book to read, as you never want to put it down. Jennette does not shy away from any of it, including eating disorders, addiction, emotional abuse, and mental illness. It’s filled with the kind of dark humor that makes you gasp and yet giggle right afterward.
Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict by Elizabeth Day
Someone recently asked whether I miss relationships, as I’m not really dating at the moment (define: date). I told them that I don’t, as I get everything I need from my close friends… and my vibrator (my friends aren’t that generous). I get emotional support, company, laughter, cheerleaders, gossip sources, and so much more. I truly believe that my long-term friendships will be the defining force of my life. So why is there no one talking about friends more? Elizabeth answers that exact question in this book and so much more. Read about ghosting, frenemies, social media etiquette, and everything else there is to know about friendships in this era. Though be warned that giving a copy to a friend isn’t always taken well, I learned that the hard way.
Butts: A Backstory by Heather Radke
As a girlie who has — to put it lightly — “got back,” I have always been intrigued by society’s fascination with butts. I was sixteen the first time people pointed out I had quite the behind, and since then, I’ve always known it’s my asset. That’s not to brag, as the rest of me isn’t above average, but she got booty. Even Instagram knows this, as it recommended this amazing nonfiction book to me (you’re cute too, Meta!!!). This is an exploration into asses and what they mean to society. From evolutionary purposes to heroin chic, J-Lo to Josephine Baker, and everything in between. It particularly explores the role of race and power in bootification.
Cue the Sun! The Invention of Reality TV By Emily Nussbaum
My inner misogynist used to judge women who watched reality TV, I’m ashamed to admit. But I explored this and realized that there’s nothing wrong with watching reality shows. In fact, it’s fucking amazing. Love is Blind, Perfect Match, Real Housewives, gimme gimme gimme!! This is more than a historical examination of the evolution of reality TV; it’s an empathetic yet shrewd look at the genre that is quickly overtaking our lives. Emily wonders why we’re so focused on hunting for something real and yet keep finding ourselves in the midst of something fake. I love that she doesn’t judge reality TV or its watchers too harshly, as she acknowledges the powerful jolt of authentic emotion you can never capture with a script.
In Defence of Witches: Why Women Are Still on Trial by Mona Chollet
Once in high school, a guy tried to insult one of my friends by calling her a feminist, as if that was the ugliest word he knew. Instead of pointing that out, we all watched her try to deny it and claim she wasn’t. Nowadays, Gen Z would have that shit on TikTok in no time and be handing that jerk what he deserves. But we live in a world where feminism can still be seen as a dirty trait despite being needed as much as it ever has been. Women are still being hunted like witches, only now our crimes are being single, aging, or deciding not to have kids — childless cat lady, anyone? This is a lovely short book about the afterlife of the witch hunts and how we’re still on trial, only now it’s the trial of the internet.
But Are You Alive? By Eloise Skinner
You might not be able to tell from my unhinged yapping and eagerness to discuss tickling private parts, but I am such an existential dread girlie. At least once a week, I fall into a wormhole of why-am-i-here and what-is-my-purpose, and of course, will-anyone-know-i-was-even-alive. Just girly things, you know how it is!! But now, when I fall into this dark pit, I’ll have more than Reese’s to get me out of it; I’ll have this incredible book by Eloise Skinner. In this nonfiction book, she draws upon philosophy, psychotherapy, and mind-body practices to help us combat the dread and set goals for the future. But not the flowery, vague anecdotes shit like other self-help books; this actually helps you design a life you want to wake up to.
Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality by Julia Shaw
Yes, I put a bi-book on this list!! Because I STILL get bi jokes and bi-erasure all the damn time, most of all from myself. So I read this book by bicon Julia Shaw, which is all about bisexuality, and it was ENLIGHTENING. We hear about homosexuality and heterosexuality all the time, but it’s time to learn about the history of bisexuality. Julia managed to weave facts with emotion, and it kept me hooked throughout. I told my two very straight sisters about it, and they immediately went out and bought it, too. If they wanted to, they would, Ally Edition.
Educated by Tara Westover
Okay, my betches, this is not an easy book to read, so I definitely recommend checking out the content warnings beforehand. That said, it was lowkey a life-changing book. I picked it up when I saw that it was about a Mormon survivalist family, as I’ve had such a weird fixation with cults lately (don’t even ask!). But it was about so much more than that, holy shit. Tara was raised isolated in the mountains of Idaho with little education and an abusive brother. At seventeen, she set foot in a classroom for the first time and started a love affair with education. This desire to learn would take her to Harvard, Cambridge, and many more places. Only then was she left wondering whether she had traveled too far and if there was still a way back home.
You Are Not a Before Picture by Alex Light
It brings me so much joy to finally be able to recommend my fave Insta girlie, Alex, here!! I have been following her since the pandemic, which brought up a lot of my previous struggles with an eating disorder. Her content is incredible, and I was so excited when she announced her book, but also a lil bit scared. Because what if it wasn’t that good? How would I keep idolizing her? Obviously, the book was amazing, and I have forced everyone in my family to read it (especially my mom). I quote it all the time like it’s my sacred text. This isn’t some easy “oh just love yourself” answer; it’s an investigation into why we never feel satisfied with our appearance, why we can look back fondly but never enjoy our bodies in the present. Alex draws a lot upon her own experiences but also speaks to experts in the fields of psychotherapy, fitness, and nutrition. It gives super practical advice, including what to do if your doctor wants to weigh you or how to respond to shitty comments about your weight. Pls, send a copy back in time to my sixteen-year-old self. Or, really to any 16-year-old in your life.
Sluts by Beth Ashley
I’ve been following Beth as a fellow journalist for a while. As soon as I see she’s published something, I drop everything, grab a cup of coffee, and settle in for a good read. So, a full book by her?? Yes, please! Beth explores the history of slutshaming, how it has changed over the centuries, and how it is still so prevalent today. She considers how specific minority groups are impacted, such as Black women or queer people, as well as the role of Shakespeare and the Jonas Brothers (lol). What I love most is that the book pushes us to reflect on our own tendencies to slutshame and how to overcome this. Additionally, it explores slutshaming in the medical industry and what to do about it.
Well-Read Black Girl by Glory Edim
Everyone deserves to have that moment where they feel like a character was written just for them. Unfortunately, a lot of my moments involve mentally unstable, penniless writers, but the point persists. This powerful anthology is comprised of original essays by talented Black writers exploring the importance of diversity in literature. From using mythology to craft an alternative Black future to exploring why we turn to books for both distraction and relaxation, these essays challenge how you think and provide the perfect space for Black women’s experiences and knowledge. The perfect book to end this list!
