All The Random Shit White House Officials Bought With Your Tax Dollars

Ever wonder where all those taxes you just paid end up? These days, they go toward funding the lavish lifestyles of Trump Administration officials. Unnecessary shit taxpayers (aka you) have already paid for include: fucktons of private jet travel, inexplicably lavish office furniture, a soundproof phone booth, and countless nights at Mar-A-Lago for Secret Service members protecting the president on his weekend trips. Read on to find out what else you’ve unwittingly bought Trump and his associates. You must have missed your ‘Thank You’ card in the mail….

Travel (Aka Private Jets)

The Trump Administration’s travel habits are lavish enough to rival the Kardashians, or the richest girl in your sorority on her semester abroad. This shit has gotten so out of control that House Democrats are asking for hearings on whether the cabinet’s “extravagant air travel” is even legal.

In his first year on the job, EPA administrator Scott Pruitt spent $168,000 on flights, most of which were first class or charter. Pruitt claims he can’t fly coach because it’s full of poors “there’s not much civility” from his fellow passengers. As in, everyone hates him and probably asks him what his beef is with Mother Earth, a question he doesn’t want to answer before choosing his in-flight movie.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and his wife Louise Linton spent a million dollars riding in military planes in 2017. This was before Louise attempted to go full Instagram influencer by posting an image of the couple deplaning and tagging the designer brands she was wearing. In classic Real Housewife fashion, she then went on to post a psychotic paragraph-long rant talking shit in response to a commenter who complained about paying for the trip. Classy!

Sidebar: I can’t decide if Louise Linton is a demon, or goals. Perhaps she is both…

Tom Price might have won the surprisingly competitive contest for which cabinet member can burn public money fastest, after resigning in shame due to the revelation that he took 24 private jet flights in 5 months.

J/K! Not to be outdone, the Trump family spent over $13 million on travel expenses during Trump’s first year in office. Some highlights include a $66,000 ski vacation for Jarvanka and a $97,830 jaunt to Uruguay by Eric. Wait so, no trips for Don Jr.? Guess we know who the least favorite is…

Office Furniture

Despite voicing no opposition to Trump’s proposed multi-billion dollar cuts to his Department of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson is apparently fine with the agency spending $165,000 on lounge furniture and a $31,000 dining room set for his office. A federal employee claims she was demoted for refusing to outspend the $5,000 budget limit, after being told anything less than $5k “could not even purchase a decent chair.” Where the fuck do the Carsons buy their furniture? Just go to ABC home like normal absurdly rich people.

Meanwhile, Scott Pruitt installed a $25,000 soundproof phone booth in his office, presumably so he can take bribes from oil companies and call phone sex hotlines. Ryan Zinke’s Interior Department paid $139,000 for a set of new office doors, and these don’t even appear to have any special corruption-enabling features. Lame.


Congress allocated $60 million to refund New York City and Palm Beach for the extra police presence required to protect Trump’s alternate residences. Joining all the shady bros we’ve already catalogued living in Trump Tower, the US military rented a unit for $130,000 a month. The Washington Post estimated that protecting Mar-A-Lago cost $6.6 million in spring 2017 alone. Meanwhile, I just paid and account $250 to get me back $300 in taxes. Grool.

Other Random Shit

Scott Pruitt, our favorite climate change denier, rented a condo for himself and his daughter who is interning at the White House (I’m sure she got that position totally based on her own merit) from a lobbyist for the oil and gas industry for a casual $50 per day. Considering it costs $50 per day just to *think* about living in New York, I’m offended.

Ben Carson asked staffers if he was allowed to use public money to pay for a $25,000 portrait of himself. (He is not.)

To top it all off, the American government spent $59,585 on golf cart rentals for for Donald Trump in 2017. Casual reminder that this is the same man who spent 8 years criticizing Obama for golfing.
Overall, this cabinet seriously rivals the Rich Kids of Instagram and the Real Housewives of New York on obnoxious spending. I can’t believe I’m paying for this shit. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to black out on the vodka I purchased with my tax return.

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Images via (Giphy)