What A Week, Huh? Weekend Horoscopes Nov. 13-15

HOLY SH*T, WHAT A WEEK. We’ve got a whiny toddler that won’t concede an election, a nice old man who just wants everyone to get along, and a pandemic that’s apparently magically disappeared, judging by the dancing in the street. I get it; we’re all excited. But let’s come back down to earth and settle with the fact that 2020 ain’t done, and neither is coronavirus.

Speaking of 2020 and coming down to earth, the planets are here once again to f*ck our sh*t up. Here’s hoping there’s some entertainment.


How do you feel about you, Scorpio? Like, with the tumultuous year (and last few weeks) we’ve all had, have you taken time to check in on yourself? Make that a priority as soon as work is over on Friday, and pour yourself a glass of wine and journal your feelings away. Saturday afternoon and evening you’ll feel a shift to communicate with everyone who will listen, so schedule a chat with mom since she’s good at talking your ear off.


Pay attention to your dreams this weekend, Sagittarius. Although they may not mean a ton, they’re going to be batsh*t crazy thanks to Mercury fooling around with your planets. You’ll feel a burst of energy and positivity this weekend, so schedule time to tackle a home project like weeding out your collection of plastic novelty cups.


It’s all about being social this weekend, Capricorn. Since the pandemic is a still a thing (and Joe is likely to lock us down again in the near future), schedule some responsible fun at on Saturday at a place where you can social distance while getting drunk outside. Ah, to be young. Sunday brings into focus your own wants and needs, so if solitude is something you’ve been craving, then lock yourself inside and turn off your phone for the day.


Take a long, hard look at your professional life, Aquarius. If it feels like this is the right time to chat with your boss about future goals, a 28% raise, or that project you’ve been putting off, make a plan and/or PowerPoint presentation about it on Saturday and prep yourself for Monday. If you’ve stayed in said job because you’re afraid you won’t find something else, update your resume, build a strong portfolio, and just apply around. The best time to look for a job is when you already have one, duh.


Use your brain, Pisces. Friday you’ll feel a tug to pick back up your Duolingo app and learn some French. Even if it’d make your old high school teacher cringe, it’s all about practice, right? Saturday and Sunday you’ll feel a pull to help those around you, so don’t be surprised if you adopt a sad looking puppy even though your husband said he was allergic to dogs. He’ll get over it.


Sharing is caring, Aries, and this weekend is a chance to look over all those joint accounts, projects, and endeavors in your life. Maybe balancing the joint checking budget so you can hide your $500 Target purchases wasn’t the way you saw your Saturday going, but this is adulthood. The good news is that on Sunday, the planets are aligning for you to feel successful over, well, something, so whatever happens budget and joint account-wise, it looks like you can reward yourself—within reason.


Time to focus on your relationship, Taurus. Friday night and Saturday morning you’ll be craving a deep discussion with your S.O., so don’t be afraid to tackle some difficult topics (like why he’s so bad at grocery shopping or why he won’t post more pics of you on Insta). If you’re single, it’s time to decide what you’re really looking for and stop entertaining guys who CLEARLY don’t check the boxes. Sunday, after all that talking and rough self-love, make time for you, and tackle a baking project that’ll clear your mind and be borderline fun.


Are you healthy, Gemini? I mean, eating salads for lunch and running two miles per day is cool and all, but there’s more to health than being physically fit. Use Friday night and Saturday morning to examine where you could expand your health horizons, and find some yoga on YouTube to try and follow along with. The planets are shifting to highlight transformation, so there’s never been a better time to set new goals and better yourself.


It’s shaping up to be a great weekend for romance, Cancer. Plan a date night with your S.O. on Friday, even if it’s just you, him, a box of Taco Bell, and parking at a mountain overlook while the sun sets. Saturday you’ll feel ready to complete a project, so if you were waiting for the right moment to finish painting the trim in the guest room or spend $300 on throw pillows to liven up your bedroom, now’s the time.


It’s all about home, family, and love this weekend, Leo (awww!). After work on Friday, plan to stick close to your nest and do whatever makes you happiest in your space. Like, if you want to paint the kitchen, go for it. If you want to tackle trying to make sourdough again, do it. If you want to work on your butt groove in the couch and not move for three days, we salute you. It’s also a good weekend for self-love, so whatever that looks like for you (be it a personal pizza or a stellar vibrator and some alone time), lean in.


Creativity and learning so you can hold it over other people is on the docket this weekend, so order some interesting food, take a class about ancient history, or watch a documentary about the electoral college and soak in the knowledge. It’s also a great weekend for finishing projects, so whether you’ve been putting off that work thing or have found a million excuses to not wrap up that DIY project, use Saturday and Sunday to get your sh*t together.


Listen to your heart this weekend, Libra. Are you happy with your love life? Job? Family? Friends? If not, change it. Update your resume, tell your mother-in-law that her QAnon posts are f*cking stupid, and tell your S.O. that they’re amazing and you appreciate them. The planets are powerful on Saturday night and Sunday, so make a plan to see some besties and spread your positivity.

Images: @justnjames / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson