It's Zoom Thanksgiving Time: Weekend Horoscopes Nov 20-22

Is everyone ready for Zoom Thanksgiving? Should be a super great time and like, isn’t it fun that we’re trying to avoid superspreader events considering the original Thanksgiving kinda kicked off the whole intentionally spreading disease to other people thing? The irony!

Anyway, while we all wonder how to actually cook a turkey, the planets are gearing up for a super fun week of emotions and social distancing. Can’t wait. But, hey—at least Scorpio season is over.


Communication and like, wanting to learn stuff are on the docket this weekend, Sagittarius. We don’t necessarily recommend calling up your conservative relatives and schooling them about COVID, the election, and other common sense sh*t (although that’s hilar). Maybe try learning a language or reading a book about interesting Thanksgiving recipes your mom will get mad at. Sunday is all about home, so vacuum your room and maybe dust something since you like, tend to neglect that quite a bit.


Pay down some bills, Capricorn. Since you have a little time before the holiday shopping gets serious, use Saturday to review your gift ideas, figure out a budget, and stick to it. If you’re careful, you could throw a lil extra toward your car or student loans this month. Communication prevails on Sunday, so if you were planning on writing up some SOPs for work or just playing with the idea of having a deep feminist discussion with your bestie, now’s the time.


How are you feeling about you, Aquarius? Use Friday night and Saturday morning to spoil yourself—whether that looks like ordering in a box of tacos or a bubble bath with champagne or just scrolling through Target’s early Black Friday deals. Sunday is all about helping others and getting a pulse on your finances, so combine the two and volunteer your time somewhere like an animal shelter, then build in donations to worthy causes into your budget.


Get ready for some weird f*cking dreams, Pisces. You’ll probably wake up in a cold sweat on Saturday morning after reliving some childhood trauma like throwing up on yourself in 3rd grade, but try to get past it and connect with some friends over a drink or two later. Sunday is for boosting your own self-esteem, so break out some hair masks and face masks and cozy slippers and martinis cause, sis, you deserve it.


Spend time with your friends this weekend, Aries, in whatever way you can so as to not be responsible for giving a bunch of people the ‘rona. We’d suggest a Friday night FaceTime wine and whatever’s-in-your-fridge happy hour. Just think: you and all your friends sitting in pajamas, miles apart, drinking wine straight out of the bottle and eating cheese/leftover pizza together. Sounds amazing tbh. Saturday the planets are pushing you to be generous, so maybe it’s time to clean out your closet (including your old winter coats) and donate them to the poor and slightly less fashionable.


The moon is making moves in your career sector, so use this weekend to review your life and professional goals. Update your resume—it’s safe to remove that job at the dog kennel you had when you were 15 (just saying). Check out your LinkedIn and make sure it’s profesh-to-death i.e. great pictures, samples of your work, an updated resume, and everything you’d want to see if you were looking to hire a PA or something. Finally, plan to sit and chat with your boss on Monday and prepare for said convo on Sunday. You won’t get what you don’t ask for.


Get ready for an adventure this weekend, Gemini. And since it’s 2020, adventure means taking a drive and not interacting with strangers, which we’re not that mad about. Take a trip to a cute town within an hour’s drive and shop local for some early holiday gifts. Amazon doesn’t need your money. After you’re mini-trip, relax on Sunday with House Hunters: Europe edition. It’ll be JUST like traveling.


It’s all about you and your partner this weekend, Cancer. Make time on Friday night to cuddle up and enjoy each other’s company. Whether it’s breaking out fuzzy handcuffs or just sitting and watching serial killer dramas together, do whatever appeals to both of you. On Sunday, you’ll both be ready to get out of the house and explore a bit, so opt for a hike or nature walk in the early hours together. If that doesn’t sound fun, order brunch for delivery and stay in bed.


It’s all about intimacy this weekend, Leo, so if you have a partner, it’s prime time to cuddle up and do nothing but each other all weekend. Aside from physical intimacy, you should also make time for riveting discussion, enjoying activities that aren’t sex together (like eating and walking), and talking about future goals. If you’re single, the stars are aligned for promising dates on Friday and Saturday, so don’t be afraid to go outside the comfort zone.


Are you being healthy, Virgo? This weekend the planets want you to examine your lifestyle and really question whether or not your routine is helping or hurting. Are you crazy burned-out at work? Are you getting enough sleep? Is your bra giving you a rash? etc. As the holidays sneak up on us, it’s a good time to sit back, relax, and think about how you’re spending your time and if it’s good for your overall well-being.


Get ready to feel artsy af this weekend, Libra. Whether you’ve been dying to redo a room in your house or just really want to make a macaroni and glitter painting for your mom, the stars are totally aligned for you to get your creativity on. Saturday night you may have a tiny crisis regarding if you’re really happy or not re: your job. Try to compartmentalize your feelings and figure out what’s making you happy and what isn’t in your 9 to 5.


The moon wants you to cuddle up and nest this weekend, Scorpio, and considering the onslaught that is the holidays sneaking ever closer, it’s probably a good idea. We recommend sweats and binging season 4 of The Crown so you can feel classy. Sunday the stars demand you call your mom, dad, or fav sibling and just shoot the sh*t for awhile. Though it may be exhausting in the moment, time with your family—even over the phone—will help you feel refreshed going into the next week.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson