We Could All Use A Drink: Here's Your Weekend Horoscope For February 16-18

Whether or not your employers are blessing you with a three-day weekend, this weekend will be big for all signs, so listen up for your weekend horoscope. The Sun is slipping into Pisces starting this weekend. By the 18th, prepare to feel that sensitive, dream-like Pisces energy take over. You’ll probably start the weekend with big plans and then get so caught up in other shit you won’t follow through on any of it. A note for all signs: Your Pisces friend will tell you she doesn’t want to do anything for her birthday, but she’s only saying that because Pisces hate being an inconvenience for others. Plan something for her anyway and she’ll be super appreciative and probably act like she owes you forever. Classic Pisces.


You’ve definitely been fighting the good fight, even if you’re guilty of being the kind of annoying do-nothing advocate who only responds to trolls in Facebook comments. This weekend, that act gets old. Being personally responsible for solving all the world’s problems from behind your keyboard can wait until Monday. Close the laptop and go have that cocktail you’re in desperate need of—doctor’s weekend horoscope’s orders.


You’ve got something to be thankful for, because your weekend horoscope is encouraging you to stick to your normal antisocial tendencies of not branching out. This is not the weekend to try to blend into a new group. You know, that weird situation where, like, a work friend invites you out with her group of friends? Yeah, avoid that, because the Moon in Pisces awakens your need for deep connection on Friday. Your need for belonging this weekend will only be fulfilled by life-long friends and not a group of random nerds who only want to play Settlers of Catan all night or some shit.


You’re about to take a turn in the spotlight, so it’s best you spend the weekend upping your routine maintenance. Like, do you even know what your eyebrows look like right now? While you’re vegging out in sweats this Sunday watching snowboarding or curling or whatever, consider taking a moment to do something extra to make sure you’re camera ready for Monday.


A weekend getaway is exactly what you need to beat the winter blues. A Moon-Neptune merger will give you the most inspiration and a new perspective about your destiny if you’re on the road.  If a short road trip is in the cards, don’t invite your quiet friend. How are you supposed to zone out and think about your path in life if you’re forced to play a big part in the conversation? No. Invite the friend who talks way too much about herself so she won’t notice that you’re being particularly quiet.


If you feel like you’re in perpetual déjà vu, you’re not wrong. It probably feels like you’ve been going in circles with the same argument you’ve been having with a friend, family member, or significant other, and I don’t just mean debating politics in your Facebook comments. The bad news, it’s not going to get resolved this weekend. Most likely, talking the issue to death won’t get you any closer to answers. It’s best to call a truce and raise a glass to agreeing to disagree.


The link between the Moon and Neptune in Pisces will make you particularly empathetic this weekend. Just be careful that you don’t internalize other people’s feelings too much. In order to make sure your feelings are your own, it’s probably to spend some time with just yourself. Like, you don’t have to become a hermit or anything. Just head home early or skip one night of the group hang in favor of takeout and movies at home.


You’re not going to like this weekend horoscope, I bet, but enough dicking around, Libra. This weekend is all about buckling down and actually doing that thing you’ve been meaning to do for the past… well, forever. Do whatever it takes to get shit done. Pop an Addy. Reward yourself with unnecessary Amazon purchases. Nothing motivates a betch like the promise of drugs, booze, or the arrival of some shit she didn’t need wrapped in a Prime box.


Valentine’s Day came and went but you’re still feeling the love and romance. A Moon-Venus relationship in Pisces will keep your inner romantic alive. Wait, are you feeling romantic or just horny? Is there a difference? Don’t let the need to get off cloud your feelings about someone. Mr. Right Now is probably not Mr. Right.


The Moon in Pisces merging with Venus will awaken your inner romantic, while Neptune will let your mind wander toward your past. That combination can be deadly if an ex happens to pop into your inbox during this time. You’ll be more likely to reminisce on the good times and forget that he was a scumbag who smoked way too much weed. Be prepared to remember your elementary school D.A.R.E. training and “just say no” to fuck boys in your DMs this weekend.


You’ve been keeping your mouth shut about an important issue because you don’t think it’s your place to say anything. This weekend, it’ll be your time to speak up. Like, it’s honestly really not fair that that Bre picks the group brunch spot every single Sunday. Seriously. Someone else could be totally capable of making the reservation. Anyway, if anyone calls you a bitch, tell them your weekend horoscope was telling you not to stay silent in the group chat any longer.


You’ve been chasing something (or someone) for quite some time without making much progress. Girl, life should not feel like a treadmill. Gross. If you’re not making moves by this point, you should be moving on. Spend the weekend honestly evaluating how much more time you’re willing to spend on this endeavor before throwing in the towel and moving the fuck on.


The Sun officially moves into your sign Sunday. You know what that means? Your life is about to get a lot fucking better. Why not spend this weekend pre-celebrating the good times to come in the future?  The Moon-Venus conjunction in your sign will surround you with love. If you’re single and looking, this is a good time to get your face out there. If you’re happily taken, get ready to be showered with attention and affection, two of a Pisces betch’s favorite things.

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